Super-Awesome First Beach Vacation in India

We had such a nice time the past few days!  And to think this place is just an hour and a half drive away.  I am pretty sure we will be back many times over the next few years. 

As soon as we arrived both Andrey and I became aware of how tired we were.  After talking and reflecting we realized that this transition is definitely the hardest one so far.  Not in terms of challenges because those were similar with each transition but in terms of energy levels.  Maybe it's our age; maybe it's that we've been at this for 11 years; maybe it's doing it for the first time with a child.  Who knows?  But we are grateful for time away in a beautiful place and the chance to slow down enough to be present with how we are really doing.  Such an important part of life.  My lungs and sinuses were also very happy to get some fresh air.  I developed some asthma-like symptoms a few days before we left and needed an inhaler for a few days.  I'm hoping that won't become a chronic thing.

We had three days spent mostly in water between the ocean and the pool but also had a good bit of lounging time reading and talking.  We all swam in deep ocean waves and Ella grew in her love of the ocean.  We had some long sleeps and a couple naps and came back feeling very relaxed and rested.  We are gearing up for Ella to start school in just one week! 

This Current Season: The Challenges and Good Things

Another week down in this strange season of long, wide open days with my daughter, being so new to India, before she starts school.  Just two-and-a-half weeks left till she starts first grade.  After four weeks of aimless-feeling days and struggling with a lack of options of things to do, I wanted this week to be different.  I started out the week choosing to view the week with endless mother-daughter time not as something to be dreaded but something that is fleeting (because it is) and should be treasured.  I've tried and mostly succeeded at enjoying these days with no schedule and have tried to make things fun.  It's amazing how the right attitude can change your experience.  I have really enjoyed my daughter this week.  She is amazing and I love spending time with her.  It's just that too much of a good thing isn't always as fun.  Like my life currently with too much free time.  Too much blank space.   Too much one-on-one time just the two of us and it feels a little lonely but this too will soon be changing as we make friends and find more things to do. 

There are many good things to count in this season.  We can sleep in.  I have time to exercise.  I have one goal in the morning and that is to exercise and shower before noon.  Rough life!  I have time for activities Ella loves like baking (which I also love) and doing crafts (me, not so much).  We had three outings together this week.  One was a playdate with a friend from church.  Next we discovered a mall we haven't yet been to and went for lunch and to buy craft supplies.  We came home with lots of fun craft activities and that kept us busy for several days.  Third, we checked out the beach not so far from us.  Ella played in the sand and waves and we got rained on and we ended up having a great time.  We have met a couple of wonderful people whom I can ask to watch Ella for an evening so Andrey and I could go out for our anniversary last weekend.  We also got out for a night earlier in the month to celebrate 4th of July at the American Consulate.  We have plans next week to take a beach day with a friend. 

Challenges these days include (allow me to whine here a bit):

• Not knowing any kids at Ella's school yet so there aren't any play date options with kids who aren't in school right now.  Well, there is one gal we know but she and her family are in the US for the month of July.  Ella does have a few friends from church but by the time they get home from school and get their homework done (there's a lot of homework for young kids in the Indian system) then it is nearly 5:00, but this is merely afternoon snack time for Indian families who tend to eat dinner around 8 or 9pm, so we'll enjoy the days when we can eat dinner late too and be thankful for a play date even late in the afternoon.

• Finding ways for Ella to get some exercise.  There is a small park about a ten minute walk away but it's too hot to go before 4pm.  There aren't any pools that we've found so far that are affordable for a couple-hour visit.  There just isn't much outdoor space that we can hang out in much besides our small balcony or the rooftop of our building.  We do have a gym with a tin roof on the top of our building but it's only bearable in the early evening.  Sometimes Ella and I go up there to try to move our bodies and we're glad for it.  Last week I took her to check out a tumbling class I had discovered but it was disappointing for both of us and Ella refused to participate.  I didn't force her because it frankly didn't look that fun.  Kids were forced to be quiet and stand in line while the one instructor spotted one kid at a time in things like handstands and kartwheels.  We came home deciding we'd just try some of that ourselves at home. 

• The pollution.  We don't have a car yet so we do a lot of getting around by taxi or auto-rickshaw.  For daily groceries/errands I take auto-rickshaws or walk because there is so much very close by but my sinuses and lungs can really feel the effects navigating the traffic-filled streets of Chennai.  I either get sinus congestion that leads to bad sinus headaches and/or this heavy feeling in my lungs that leaves me coughing at night.  Thankfully I was able to consult with an allergist while in the US who's advice has helped me keep much of the sinus headaches at bay.  I do a sinus rinse twice a day and use decongestant nasal spray daily.  Turns out I don't have allergies to dust like I thought, just non-allergic rhinitis which means my nasal/sinus passages get irritated and congested easily. 

• My stomach!  Thankfully I haven't had any food poisoning yet but the stomach condition I've had for years is finding it hard to handle more than just occasional spicy food.  Or tomatoes, or citrus, or alcohol.  It's so sad.  I'm finding it very challenging to determine what is my limit for each of these things because there are times when I feel fine and then other times like this week, when I can become suddenly very sick to my stomach with burning and feeling very nauseated and I have no appetite or have to eat only very mild foods.  I've also struggled with some anxiety and insomnia this week.  My body just feels out of whack and that gets my mind worrying about my health and how horrible it would be to have cancer again - something I really need to stay on top of or it can quickly ramp up into full-blown fear and I just can't live like that.  I had a full and thorough check up while in the US and there is no reason to believe I am unhealthy.  I just need to be thankful for the good health I have, choose the peace offered to me in Jesus and pray for wisdom so I can take good care of myself and my family.

• No trained chiropractors in Chennai.  I love going to the chiropractor, have seen chiropractors regularly for years and believe that regular adjustments prevent larger problems with my neck and back.  Thankfully with regular exercise and my bed which is almost uncomfortably firm (I decided to forego the foam pad when I read how toxic foam is), I am not in much pain but I can tell my neck is less flexible than it should be.  There are lots of physical therapists here I may give a try once Ella's in school.  

• Andrey's work schedule.  The Indian work schedule is very late.  They start around 10 and work till about 7 or 8.  Andrey goes in by 9 which makes it very difficult for him to get home by 7.  Most days he's home by 7:30, we end up eating dinner very late and then I go to bed with indigestion.  Goodness!  I hate being so high maintenance!!  And it's been an especially busy few weeks for him at work which has had him away for five evenings over the past two weeks.  But this is what I signed up for!

Some wins this week!! (Lots of exclamation points because I find each of these things very exciting.  Ahh, my life is so exciting.) 

• I got a driver's license this week!  Well, a learner's permit that I'm required to have for 30 days before I can drive on my own.  If I were to drive now I'd have to have a licensed driver with me and have a large red "L" on the front and back windows of my car, which I think is hilarious.  I may as well go ahead and put a sign that says Lady Driver, which I have seen in Asia more than a few times - as if that is to warn people of the danger that is only worse if it's a female behind the wheel.  But that's fine seeing as how we don't yet have a car, I am just getting a head-start on the 30 day wait period before I get my legit license.  

• We hired a driver!  This is a big win as I was quite discouraged when the few driver leads we had fell through and Andrey and I had no idea how to go about finding someone.  We didn't want to hire anyone without a referral or some connection to someone we know.  Thankfully our helper took initiative and found us an option.  We interviewed him last week and he's great!  Goal is to have a car by end of the month and a driver to get us around during the day beginning on August 1st, just a few days before Ella starts school.  Yay!  

• We have identified a car for purchase!  We are having it inspected tomorrow and if all looks good we'll go for it.  It will take a week or so to get the funds and title transferred before we can take possession but it's looking very good for having the car ready to go by the time our driver starts. 

• We have photos and art on our walls!  This is great as our flat is really looking great now.  Feeling more like home.  I only have a few minor things left to do in the house like get curtains and find bedding for the guest bedroom and put up a few more shelves in the bathrooms - stuff I'll do once Ella's in school.  

On a separate note, it has been exactly ONE YEAR since we left the Philippines.  Oh how I miss my friends there and to be honest, my life.  I am still grieving that loss and want to cry as I type this.  Special special people, times, community, fulfilling work there.  I do believe I will get to a similar place in Chennai where I can say the same but it will take some time.  For now I will take it day by day, vent when I need to, feel what I need to feel, commit to doing a better job at putting myself out there and making friends, and ultimately choose to be thankful and present with what is and find the treasure in each day.

Now for some photos from the past few weeks...

The park not far from our place

Consulate party to celebrate American Independence; it highlighted food from four regions of the US

Making bread

Pork tacos - Ella's especially glad we can find pork here

Last playdate with Zoe before she moved back to the US

We love these two more and more every day

This one LOVES to put on make up for fun at home

Kangaroo care

On our way out for a date on our anniversary; we love our cool elevator

We had a fancy (spicy!) South Indian meal at the Taj Hotel

Cuddle time with the kitties when I was feeling sick

Our outing to Elliot's Beach

I'm here too

She got soaked, found some treasures and was very happy

Shots for Daddy! She loves inflicting this on others after having a few shots herself recently

Ella's debrief art after she had to have a shot (she was FURIOUS and tried to bite me)

My debrief art after Ella had a shot

Playing in the rain on our balcony

It's About Time for an Update! Life in India has begun...

Holy cow I have really fallen off the blogger world.  Has it really been four months since my last post?  The past few months have been a whirlwind.  Now that we are finally settling in to life in India, it's time to get the blog up to date. 

We were still in Alabama waiting for visas when I posted last.  In March, Ella and I spent a few weeks in Seattle while Andrey was in Chennai working and finding us a place to live.  He had his visa but Ella and I had just strangely been denied.  Thankfully it was an unofficial denial and so based on advice from Andrey's employer we moved to Northern Virginia/DC area for the month of April so that we would reapply for our visas at the embassy there.  We applied in early April and just three weeks later had our visas in hand.  That was a huge miracle and brought on quite a high as we finally made plans to move to India.

After a visit to Nova Scotia in Canada to see our family, we flew to Chennai on May 12th.  We did not expect to be greeted at the airport at 1:00 am by anyone other than the hired driver but to our surprise, we had a cheering section waiting for us.  I was overwhelmed and emotional from their kindness and consideration to give us such a welcome so late in the evening and the fact that after a year of planning, anticipating, praying and waiting, we had finally reached India.  The staff had gifts and signs with our names and were very happy to see us.  Considering they have been waiting a long time without a leader in the office I can see why they were celebrating.  Waiting so long also had us anticipating our move to India so much that we were way more excited about it when it finally happened than we would have been otherwise.

The first ten days in India were blissful.  We were just so happy to finally be here. Everything was exciting.  The heat, the food, the auto-rickshaw rides, our apartment (that Andrey found for us during his trip in March) and new neighborhood were novel and welcome gifts.  We stayed in a hotel for the first three nights while we bought basics for the apartment and then stayed in our new place for a week.  That was our India honeymoon.

An unfortunately timed work project required Andrey to be in Manila for two weeks just 10 days after our arrival in India.  Instead of Ella and I hanging out in Chennai on our own and while the very last thing I wanted to do was pack and travel, we decided to join him and spend time in Cebu while he was busy.  Arriving in Cebu felt strange but we had a lot of fun and were really glad to be there.  We saw all our favorite people, visited all our favorite restaurants and ate lots of favorite Filipino food and treats.  Ella kept saying, "Awww, I want to stay here 100 days!"  By the end of it we were both exhausted and Ella was sick with a virus.  So when we came back to Chennai to our living room full of boxes - our shipment of stuff we had sent away in Cebu 11 months prior - it wasn't long before I was overwhelmed and exhausted and just wanted to give up.  I ended up sick too and so at one point I just put everything on hold until I felt better.  At least we were able to get Ella's room, our room and kitchen set up enough to live before I checked out in bed with a fever.

It's been a month since we flew back to Chennai and we have made much progress.  We bought an oven, a TV, a desk and bookcase.  We are set up enough to live and host visitors for dinner.  Still no photos on the wall but hopefully soon.  We don't have a car yet but just yesterday finally got WiFi set up at home and we have a lead on a driver.  Yay!!

Thankfully, India has Uber!  What a fantastic taxi service that I learned about in the US.  You just book it from your phone, can track their location as they make their way to pick you up and your credit card gets charged automatically after every ride. It has made getting around so much easier.  It's totally professional.  The only challenge is trying to explain to the driver how to find you (although they do have a GPS with your location which should technically help but they always call to confirm or clarify it).  It took me a while to learn how to speak English in a way that is understandable to the Indian ear (still working on that).  It's all about landmarks and switching up your sentence structure.  If you want to say your place is opposite to Blah-Blah hospital you say, Blah-Blah hospital opposite.  I find it helps to do the head bobble while talking to the driver over the phone.  Definitely makes it clear.  I had trouble the first week as I couldn't even tell if the driver was speaking English or Tamil to me!  Lame right?  The accent is just that strong and it's taken me a while to decifer the Indian English.  I still have to guess most of the time or just give the clueless look. 

I have felt a little lonely at times and I realize that there is something very comforting about being in a place where you are known.  That will take some time but until that comes I often feel like I'm out somewhere far away on my own.  Wait a minute.  That's because I AM OUT SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY ON MY OWN (sort of)!  With Andrey working his usual more-than-full-time job, that leaves me with a lot of time to figure stuff out on my own.  There are just days when it is easy to feel a little isolated and lonely.  The nice part of having done this a few times is that I know this is normal and that it will get better.  Thankfully, I have started making some friends and for this early in the game that is really saying something - more than I expected at this point!

I am just so grateful for internet on my phone since we arrived. With Google maps, Uber, Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook messenger I have been able to get myself around and not be totally cut off from connecting with family and friends from afar.  I just shamelessly call or message someone when I need to talk or connect and I know some great people who have been so encouraging and supportive.  Just requires me being a little needy and putting myself out there a bit.  Being in a similar time zone to Cebu has been super helpful as I'm able to connect with friends there in the middle of the day.  Have you tried leaving voice messages on WhatsApp?  I love that feature and use it all the time to have half-conversations at at time.  Now that is just quality time spent right there.

I want to wrap this post up with a list of perks of living in Chennai, India.  Many of them unexpected:

• I can walk to my grocery store, produce market, ATM machine, printer repair shop, dentist,  Ella's pediatrician, and some really delicious ice cream shops.  Now that is something India is not short on.  Who knew there would be so much yummy ice cream everywhere?

• There are always auto rickshaws around when I don't have time to wait for a taxi.  Unfortunately most of the auto drivers are jerks but I'm learning how to haggle with them and get them to take me to more than one location at a time. 

• I love the hot weather!  It's not as humid as I expected and that makes the heat more bearable.  That's the Florida girl in me.  Gimme some heat and I feel at home.

• Cheap fruits and vegetables - hello daily mangoes! 

• Beautiful new clothes.  Chennai is very conservative and traditional and it's important to dress appropriately.  There are many things in my closet I just can't wear here.  And that's fine.  The clothes here are colorful, comfortable and affordable and I wear an Indian tunic (kurta) with various types of India pants nearly every day.  Love it.

• Our house-helper.  She has worked for all the other IJM directors before us and is just wonderful.  She smiles easily and is always ready to share helpful tips with me about making life easier here.  Oh and she loves to cook and bake.  She is a real gem.  Oh my goodness, what the heck do I do all day?!

• Ready-available, fresh, pasteurized, non-UHT milk at every shop nearby that only costs about $.70 per liter.  It must come from somewhere nearby because the packaging date is always within a day or two of finding it.  We have not bought fresh milk since we lived in the States and it just tastes so much better; the way it's supposed to taste.  In the Philippines and Thailand we only drank UHT (ultra heat-treated, boxed) milk that came from Australia or New Zealand and it just has a funny taste to it.   

• A lack of dirty old white men parading around with local women half their age.  Oh I can't tell you how nice that is!  

• When Ella and I are out and about, no one pays us any attention.  Well, we get a little attention but NOTHING compared to the Philippines where there are way more foreigners!  Doesn't make sense but I LIKE IT!!  We get a few looks but nobody really stares and keeps staring.  No one asks me if Ella is my daughter and is my husband Filipino.  We do get asked where we come from and sometimes I say Canada, sometimes the US, sometimes the Philippines.  All are true. :-)

• Online shopping!  India has Amazon and a few other online shopping websites where you can get quite a lot of great stuff delivered to your door.  We now buy our Indian coffee beans online and soon will order medicine too.  Last week instead of taking a taxi to go out searching for a few small appliances I needed and carrying them around along with looking after Ella, I just ordered them from the comfort of my home.  That is hard to beat.  I realize just how American I am.  Now if we can just get some wheels...