Seedlings

Vegetable gardening is a new adventure for me. A few weeks ago when A's parents were still here I finally planted some seeds that I'd been accumulating in hopes of starting a small herb garden including a few other plants. I planted seeds for dill, cilantro, oregano, basil, and thyme as well as cherry tomatoes, lettuce (a long shot), and a few mammoth sunflowers. That was round one. I got a few good tomato plants going and 3 nice sunflower sprouts. How exciting to see them pop up!

Since then, rats (or slugs) ate my sunflower sprouts. I was so disappointed. My tomato seedlings gained enough height and apparent strength that I transferred them to pots last Saturday. Then, we had a torrential down-pour of rain while I was at work and couldn't pull them under shelter. I came home to a few barely-hanging-on tomato plants. Again, very disappointed.

My herbs never came up so I sowed another set of seeds in new dirt and paid more attention to watering. After two weeks - again, nothing. So last Saturday I tried again. This time with dirt that's apparently more specific to starting seeds and I actually read the directions. I'm hoping something comes up this time! I really love the idea of walking outside to clip off some cilantro when I want make Mexican food. Or grab some fresh basil for Italian. I'll keep at it and see what happens. Another factor may be the rain and cloudiness lately. We're supposed to be at the beginning of the hot, dry season but it seems to be taking a little time to kick in. I'm thinking once it does, it will help my tomatoes thrive at least.

We've also been learning to compost. A's parents helped us get some compost started several weeks ago and for a while it was going great. Until... the rats got into it! They bit a hole right through the plastic basket it was in. Now we are in the process of reinforcing the plastic bin with thick, metal wire. We'll see how that goes. I really like this composting thing. The possibilities. The sudden value of used coffee grounds and garlic peels. The idea of all that nutrition being used for something and not going to waste.

In the last week or so I've been out in the yard every morning and every evening checking on my seedlings (that was when there was still some hope for my tomatoes). I mentioned to Andrey how I need to try to not get so invested in these plants so that when they fail I'm not so disappointed about it, but after noticing my level of daily concern I realized that that's not easy to do. I am really invested in these plants thriving. I really want them to succeed!

At church last Sunday there was a word from the Lord spoken that went something like this: "What I have planted I will watch over and nurture and protect. What I have planted I will cause to grow to completion. Like a gardener that tends to his crops..." This word impacted me because for the first time, I felt I could really relate to what a gardener or farmer must feel, tending to his/her crops.

I recalled how invested I felt in seeing my plants grow and how mindful I was each day to check on them. As I journaled about that I could so clearly sense the Lord's gentle and kind, loving care over me. I became aware of the many areas in which I tend to strive to please and perform - to please the expectations I set for myself and the perceived expectations from others and from God.

I was reminded that it is God who will bring His work in me to completion. Not me. Sure, there are things he's prepared for me to do but there is no need for striving, for trying hard to sprout up and grow out of my own strength. It was a merciful reminder to rest in God and to make room in my heart and life for Him to tend to me to way He sees fit. It's time (again) to not allow that ugly voice of the enemy in my mind to speak the old tune of, "you'll never measure up." I hate that voice. God has already made me aware of that voice and for years I've learned to stand against it. Every so often however, it creeps up and I don't realize I'm letting it in until I really start to feel its effects. Once again I am reminded to call out that lying voice when I first hear it, to call it out as false, and combat it with God's truth.

It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant - not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:4-6

And my FAVORITE verse:

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

How important it is to walk out that which the Lord has already done in us. He's brought healing and freedom yet I must continue to be alert and not allow the enemy's accusations drag me down. We must walk out the freedom the Lord gives us. We must stand firm. I'm reminded of another great verse...

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

How many times do we let ourselves be burdened by that yoke of slavery that no longer belongs to us? It seems these things I learn and then I forget and then I have to learn them again. And then I forget again. How quickly I can begin to feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm not good enough. Letting expectations and the associated guilt that are not from God rule over me. Graciously, Jesus, in His mercy gently reminds me of his grace - over and over again. I am so grateful for that. I am amazed at his goodness, his patience, his mercy and grace.

Valentine's Day Dinner

We decided to stay home this year. With so many guests around the past 1-2 months we've done quite a lot of eating out. Dinner at home sounded great. It's also a great opportunity to make foods we don't normally make - either due to cost or health or convenience.

This Valentine's dinner accomplished just that. It was slightly expensive (although still much less than we'd pay if we went out) and wasn't low-fat by any stretch of the imagination and definitely was not what you call local. In fact, I'd call it the anti-100-mile meal as nearly everything was made from imported, energy-inefficient ingredients.

Such as beef, for example. Corn-fed American beef. That was the first item on our menu: grilled rib-eye steaks. Oh yes, they were delicious! I have this stove-top cast iron grill. It's the best invention! I just put it atop the gas flame on the stove and let it sizzle our meat to perfection. I highly recommend one of these if you have a gas stove top. There are non-stick versions out there that are too expensive in my opinion. Plus with non-stick you don't get as good grill marks. I was stoked when I found my cast iron one for less than $10!

My mother taught us how to make the perfect steak. The key is to let it come to room temperature before you cook it. And while it's sitting out on the counter becoming room temperature (which happens in just a few minutes in this weather), you rub it down with course salt. Just before cooking the steaks, pat them dry with a paper towel. This, with the salt, draws some of the moisture out (especially important in previously frozen steak). This prevents the moisture left in the steak from cooking the inside too fast. The whole thing cooks more evenly and you get nice charring on the outside. And always let your steak rest for 10 minutes after it cooks and before you cut into it. Otherwise, the juice will run right out of it and it will be dry. I'm telling you, it really results in a tastier steak.

The second item on our menu was wild mushroom risotto with peas and freshly grated romano cheese. Hello! In Asia, we pretty much live without mushrooms. Good, regular button mushrooms. You can't get them here because they aren't grown here. We miss them. Sure, we can get shiitake mushrooms but those don't go very nicely in Italian dishes. So we pretty much live without fresh mushrooms (sigh). So, for Valentine's day we splurged on some very expensive, imported button and portabello mushrooms. I've never made risotto before. It was delightful! So full of yummy mushroom flavor.

The third element to our meal was arugula salad with roasted bell peppers and shaved romano cheese with a simple olive oil/lemon juice/balsamic dressing. It was the first time I ever roasted bell peppers. Just cover a cookie sheet with foil and place the whole peppers under the broiler, turning often (about 20 minutes) until the skin is bubbling and burnt. Place in zip-top baggy until they are at room temperature. Remove the skin and seeds. Slice and serve. Or add a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar, salt & pepper and let marinate for at least 5 hours. I didn't do this as I roasted the peppers while I was prepping the rest of the meal but they were still super tasty. I think I'll roast peppers more often. We both loved this simple salad.

So that was our entree: grilled steak, wild mushroom risotto, and arugula and roasted peppers salad. (All three of those recipes came from Giada DeLourentiis' book called "Everyday Italian," which I got for Christmas.) We enjoyed the salad with a glass of champagne, then opened a bottle of red wine to accompany the steak and risotto.

As for dessert. I really did something I wouldn't normally do. That's the fun of it. I made molten chocolate cakes with raspberry coulis and fresh whipped cream. Remember when I said this meal wasn't at all local? The chocolate was Hershey's semi-sweet from the US, the frozen raspberries also from the US (and expensive! no wonder we never buy those) and the whipping cream from France. The cakes turned out great. The raspberry sauce was a hit with Andrey as its one of the foods he misses the most. And the whipped cream... well, if any of you really know me, you know that I have a love affair with whipped cream. I'd almost trade Andrey for it. That part was for me.

We savored the meal. And the time alone together. We realize it is a luxury that few of our married friends with kids get to enjoy - 1. To have the time to cook such a meal and 2. To enjoy it at home, just the two of us. So we choose to be thankful and to live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is, knowing that times like this are fleeting. Once kids enter the picture it will be a whole new deal. Am I right, friends?

Happy Valentine's Day

Psycho Taxi Driver

I've never had a scarier taxi ride. My taxi driver on my way home from work this morning was without a doubt on some kind of drug. Probably the ubiquitous methamphetamine used around here called shabu. First of all it was one of the most beat up taxis I'd ever been in. It looked like it might fall apart. When I got in I immediately realized the driver was high on something. He couldn't sit still and I could see via the rear view mirror that his eyes were bloodshot and glossy. The words of a reporter on the radio were unintelligible because the station wasn't quite tuned into the right frequency. It only gave off high-pitched sounds of jumbled words. The guy didn't seem to notice or care. And his driving genuinely scared me. I thought he might kill someone. He weaved into oncoming traffic numerous times to pass the line up of cars we were in. This isn't that unusual except that this guy didn't do it only when it was clear. He just honked for people to get out of his way while accelerating as fast as the car would go, just to quickly weave back into traffic. I prayed and tried to get the courage up to stop him and get out but I kept telling myself it wasn't that much further. I was just scared to speak to this guy. But the atmosphere of the taxi felt spiritually dark. It was awful. Even though I was more than half way home, I finally worked up enough courage to listen and act on what my instincts were telling me. Get out of this taxi! I seriously thought I might get into an accident at any moment or worse yet hit and kill a pedestrian. So I stopped the taxi, paid my fare and got out. Whew!

Fast Birth

I worked last night. My shift started at 7:45 pm. At 8 pm a 27-year-old mother arrived in labor with her 4th child. She was 8 centimeters dilated and having strong, frequent, regular contractions. She asked to pull down the curtains around one of our beds downstairs for privacy. Of course, no problem. At 8:55 she declared, "I need to push!" We all rushed upstairs and got her onto the delivery table. She said, "I really need to push!" We said, "Wait. Just breathe," while I quickly put on a gown and sterile gloves. "Ok. Go ahead," I said. She bore down and I could already see the head. The amniotic sac was still intact so I reached in to gently pinch it after her first push. Immediately she started pushing again and suddenly, the head was crowning, the head was out, the body was out - baby out! All in one push. The time was 8:57 pm. I guess she really did have to push! While her baby was being suctioned on her abdomen she said, "Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you" with a big smile on her face. Her husband was also there, smiling.

Adorable little baby girl named Sherly. 6 pounds 12 ounces. Healthy, pink, cute, round-faced, head full of gorgeous black hair, champion breastfeeder. Sherly.

What could be more fun than to take part in stuff like this!!?? What a privilege.

Tuesday's Two Deliveries

I worked the day shift on Tuesday. When I arrived there was a woman in labor. This was her second baby. She progressed well throughout the day and I was her main labor support person. She's a sweet, cheerful woman. It was great working with her as she labored throughout the day. At around 4pm she gave birth to a healthy 7 1/2 pound baby boy. Here she is on Thursday morning.
Around 6 pm, while we were just finishing up in the delivery room, my continuity patient arrived in labor. Let me first explain what a continuity patient is.

A continuity patient is someone that I am responsible for caring for throughout pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum. I am required to have 3 continuity patients in order to complete my midwifery training. I have had 4 continuity patients in the past that for various reasons all ended up delivering in the hospital. Of course it's mostly unfortunate for them because that means they had some sort of complication - either during their pregnancy or during their labor - that required us to transfer their care to the hospital. But it's also a bummer for me because even though I cared for them for many months, I can't use that experience toward my requirements.

I've been praying (selfishly) for both of my continuity patients (the other is due in April) to have a healthy pregnancy and birth because I really want the opportunity to deliver their babies and care for them afterward as well, and of course, satisfy some of my requirements in the process.

I am happy to say that my first continuity patient (in photo below) delivered a healthy baby girl on Tuesday. Yeah! She arrived at 6pm and gave birth at 9:30 pm. It was the kind of birth I always hope for. She had very strong, effective and appropriately frequent contractions. Her labor progressed normally - quickly even. I was surprised at how quickly things were progressing and how amazing my patient was at remaining calm and in control. She was impressive. Clearly she had done this before. This was her 4th baby. I asked her if her other labors were like this one and she told me yes. I knew her past labors were fast so I knew to be on my toes.

Things couldn't have gone better. She didn't bleed and she didn't tear. She spent all of Wednesday at the clinic then was discharged early Thursday morning. Here she is with her incredibly cute baby girl (Kianna Jee) and husband just before they were sent home.

I really enjoyed working with this woman. As you can see she's quite tiny but thanks to her compliant nature she took my advice on taking vitamins that helped increase her appetite and then ate a lot more than she would have otherwise (including lots of protein!!!). Her baby weighed 6 1/2 pounds. Perfect! She even successfully increased her hemoglobin throughout her pregnancy by consistently purchasing good quality iron supplements and taking them as advised - every day! It's a simple thing but you have no idea how hard it can be to get patients to comply with just this one important thing. She really was a joy to work with.

She expressed an interest in family planning advice (she's only 27) so I'm going to make sure she finds something that works for both her and her husband. If things go as she hopes, she won't be back to our clinic for a while.

Thank God for this new life! Did I mention how cute the baby is?? She has chubby cheeks and when she cries she has a pouty lower lip that sticks out! She feeds like a champ, too!