Rest

As I get older I find withdrawing to rest becomes more essential to my well-being. I'm not referring to unhealthy withdrawal - pulling away from relationships and emotions. I'm referring to the opposite actually. Withdrawing from the world and our culture of doing, to a place where we are irrationally unproductive, still and present - present with our thoughts, our feelings, and most importantly the whisper of the Divine Voice within.

When I don't take time away to be still, quiet, reflect, listen, I find my tolerance to stress becomes less and I become tetchy and negative and not very nice to be around (Andrey knows this better than anyone, poor guy). As much as I don't like the person I become when I step away from that which centers me, I am thankful for this regular reminder to refocus, recenter, rest.

The fluid state of my spiritual and emotional life can be described as a pendulum that swings slowly between two extremes. Where I am at along this spectrum is dependent upon how I choose to spend my time. Simple as that.

On one end is a place where I recognize my desperate need for Christ and his presence, peace, strength and voice - and I therefore take time to withdraw, to be alone, to listen, to equip myself with truth. A place where I remember who I am and who gives me strength. It is a place where I choose to dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91). It is a place of thankfulness. It is a place where accusatory lies thrown at me by my own thoughts or placed there by an enemy that seeks to destroy, are ineffective. It is a place where I can give to others freely and generously, without expectation, because I know that my needs are being met by the Source of all things.

On the other end is a place where I have allowed myself to forget my desperation and constant need for Christ's presence in my daily life. I've taken on too many things and have allowed busy-ness to take over. I then begin the return to thinking I can do things on my own. I lose focus and begin to give out of my own strength and out of obligation, being led by expectations, the needs, which are all around and a self-preserving survival instinct instead of being led along the right paths by the good Shepherd. I then quickly become bitter and tired and obligated to do and be. I can not hear the voice of truth and I am more susceptible to accusatory lies about who I am and about my worth. My peace is gone and I feel like I've lost my center.

That's why I think practicing a Sabbath of some sort is so important. Now I am no expert at this, I am just continually reminded about it's value. Sabbath rest. Unplugging from the false messages of the world and even the church, about who we are, and connecting to the truth that says we are loved completely; that we were created for a purpose and it therefore behooves us to listen, otherwise we'll miss out on what that purpose is. There are things we must be alert to today, now, in the present. Things that God wants to speak to us. There are things that he has created in advance for us to do. Sometimes it's just learning how to rest or coming to an understanding that we are the beloved. But in order for us to see the things that he is asking of us and to be able to say no to the things he's not - regardless of need - we must be dwelling and remaining in Him.

I am the vine;
You are the branches.
If a man remains in me, and I in him
he will bear much fruit.
Apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

I am learning the importance (over and over again) of being in tune with my Creator. This starts with resting in him and leads to remaining in Him. How quickly I forget.