This new life is beginning to feel normal... and I like it.

It's been eight weeks since we met our daughter. The past week and a half since I posted last has held some of the best days yet. It was middle of last week actually that I felt like Michella and I were beginning to hit our stride together. It is hard to tell what is the reason for this other than a variety of good things happening all at once.

What do I attribute this recent success and parenting satisfaction to? Let me reflect...

• Prayer - I know many of you having been praying for us and it is no doubt helping. We are grateful. And I am learning to pray and rely on the Lord more in my new role as a mother. I have felt a definite shift recently in the amount of grace and joy I am experiencing.

• We are sleeping at night. Both of us. No need to explain why sleep makes everything better.

• She is consistently napping. Nap times no longer require a fight. She is even napping in her crib and seems to enjoy it!

• Because of the first two points, we are both getting the sleep we need and I am getting a relatively consistent 1-1.5 hours of time in the day to get a few things that require my full attention done. For a detail-oriented, organized person, this is so helpful for me and my sanity.

• Michella is doing AMAZING! She has become quite social and has started interacting and playing with friends and visitors. She is really falling in love with her daddy and is able to spend longer periods of time with him. She even fell asleep on him for the first time last weekend! And then did it again the next day while we were out. She is regularly reaching for him and showing spontaneous affection for him. She has also become more affectionate with me. She daily and often hugs me tight, runs to me with a huge smile on her face after time with daddy (as opposed to "losing it" and suddenly crying out for me in agony like before), kisses me, grabs my arm just to hold it, etc... Her highly emotional tantrums have slowed down to almost never and is just generally more secure and comfortable especially in our home. She dances and sings and laughs throughout the day. Many of you have blessed us in cards and email to have unspeakable joy as a family. I can say we are regularly experiencing that.

• Some reading Ellyn Satter books. Ellyn Satter is a dietitian with tons of experience working with families regarding food and feeding - from infancy to the teenage years. I pulled out her books for a little guidance on feeding Michella and how I could improve. Not only did I find that, I found sections on "Understanding Your Toddler" and "Feeding is Parenting." As I read, things just began to click for me and I was excited to apply what I learned. She says that you'll do fine as long as you don't let your toddler control you and you don't try to control your toddler, i.e. set loving but firm boundaries on things that are really important but give lots of room and space for them to explore and learn. Don't be over-permissive and don't be over-controlling. Bingo!! I love the balance. I love Ellyn Satter's work and as far as feeding goes, I am convinced her way is the way to go. I used to base much of my teaching on infant feeding years ago on Ellyn Satter books but I never read up on anything past age one. Her hallmark is the Division of Responsibility. The more recent of the two books I have is called Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense. Highly recommend it.

•  A phone conversation with a dear friend who gave me some great advice. "Be a Yes Mom." Say yes to as many things as possible. (Thanks Jennell!) This really correlated with what I learned from Ellyn Satter. I think this is right on when it comes to the toddler's need to explore her environment and learn to be autonomous by developing new skills. Of course this is not in lieu of setting appropriate boundaries and having some sort of age-appropriate discipline (training) in place for unacceptable behaviors. The point is, narrow down the unacceptable behaviors to those that are truly harmful, disrespectful, damaging, etc.. and no longer try to stop behaviors that are simply annoying or messy just for my own sake and my need for control and order. Things can be cleaned up/put back later. It was an A ha! moment. Now this is how I intend to go about it at least for this stage when Michella's ability to reason is still quite limited. I imagine things will change at some point later one and I'll deal with that then.

I do know that Michella has been steadily progressing and that has not changed. What is new is that I am beginning to understand her better and this is enabling me to parent her in a more successful way. The result? A happier daughter and a happier mommy. The hardest part is definitely behind us. Whew!

Andrey was away for three days last week. Initially I was really worried about being on my own with Michella. In weeks past I was regularly having some very frustrating and tiring days with her and the fact that she was now okay with having short play times with daddy meant that I got a much-needed, short break from Michella-care when Andrey came home from work each evening. Naturally I was worried how I would do without this new, beloved luxury.  But it so happened that the sudden increase in success in my parenting I experienced coincided with Andrey's absence. That, plus the socializing I planned for a few hours each day he was away, made for a surprisingly good few days.

We had our first of three post-placement home studies last Friday. Our social worker was amazed with how well Michella is doing and said that she usually doesn't see this much progress by the first visit but commonly sees it by the second visit 3-4 months in. We are more than pleased. Michella is a bit language-delayed (to be expected in a post-institutionalized child) but other than that, we do not have any other concerns. And actually, as far as language is concerned, we aren't worried. We are confident she will catch up in time. We are already seeing evidence of this in the new words she surprises us with.

Andrey's parents arrived this week! They will be here for a month. What fun to see them meet their granddaughter for the first time. Michella has done beautifully with them - way better than expected. She is truly enjoying getting to know them. She plays and interacts with them easily, even sometimes without Andrey nor I in the room. They have already had many fun times together and it's only been two days since they arrived.

They're arrival was just in time for American Thanksgiving. We kept it simple and enjoyed a lovely dinner together. It's the first year in many that I didn't cook a feast for a crowd. What a special day though - our first Thanksgiving with Michella. It felt really special just because of that. Both Mom and I felt a bit emotional at a few points in the day. What good times.

Lou & Marilyn's visit is timely. Andrey will be traveling for 9 days in early December. It will be especially great to have them around while he's away. Unfortunately he'll be away during his and his mom's birthdays.

We're taking them to the beach tomorrow for two nights, back to the place we were at two weeks ago. I'll post more pics and video of the past week or so at a later time as it's late here and I got to get to bed. (Please forgive any mistakes in this post as I'm not going to edit it.) For now I'll just leave you with one family shot from a wedding we went to last weekend...