Now that we have Ella sleeping in her crib at night, I am beginning to think about the next big hurdle - potty training. I am only thinking of it because Ella has started showing some signs of maybe, possibly, being ready, or at least moving in that direction. If she happens to be without a diaper (like before/after a shower, letting her bum dry between diaper changes) and she happens to feel the urge and we happen to be together near the toilet at home, she will say, "iyi" (ihi or pee in Cebuano). When I put her on the pot, 9 out of 10 times she goes. I praise her and she gets a very pleased look on her face.
Based on this, I decided to stop diapers at home just to see what would happen. I learned she won't tell me if I happen to be in the other room and she won't say yes if I ask her if she needs to go - even when it soon becomes apparent that she actually does need to go by the puddle that results as soon as I turn or walk away. After two days of cleaning up a LOT of pee, and given the fact that I was beginning to get frustrated and upset with her and it started to feel like a power struggle (I know enough to know that getting upset with a child about such accidents or trying to coerce them into using the potty is very counterproductive and potentially damaging) so I decided to wait for a while longer before we try again. I just purchased a toddler toilet seat attachment and my mom will bring it with her when she comes next week. I've decided to wait at least until then.
Since then, she has stopped telling me when she needs to pee when she doesn't have a diaper (this happens way less often than before) and has started to want to climb on the toilet herself just to pretend to go pee (she makes a sound with her mouth) and use the tissue to wipe but doesn't pee. If I try to assist her up or down, like I have done for months, she gets angry and yells "No!"
So I'm fine to leave this alone while I compile some information and advice. I don't have time to read and research all the available methods/approaches out there so I'm just going to put this up and ask for help from those who have been there done that. I know every child is different but I would really value hearing from some other mommies out there.
So, if you have a few minutes, please enlighten me by sharing a bit of your experience.
How do you know when they are "ready"?
When they seem "ready," how do you go about it? What has worked for you?
Many thanks.
Clueless Mommy
Based on this, I decided to stop diapers at home just to see what would happen. I learned she won't tell me if I happen to be in the other room and she won't say yes if I ask her if she needs to go - even when it soon becomes apparent that she actually does need to go by the puddle that results as soon as I turn or walk away. After two days of cleaning up a LOT of pee, and given the fact that I was beginning to get frustrated and upset with her and it started to feel like a power struggle (I know enough to know that getting upset with a child about such accidents or trying to coerce them into using the potty is very counterproductive and potentially damaging) so I decided to wait for a while longer before we try again. I just purchased a toddler toilet seat attachment and my mom will bring it with her when she comes next week. I've decided to wait at least until then.
Since then, she has stopped telling me when she needs to pee when she doesn't have a diaper (this happens way less often than before) and has started to want to climb on the toilet herself just to pretend to go pee (she makes a sound with her mouth) and use the tissue to wipe but doesn't pee. If I try to assist her up or down, like I have done for months, she gets angry and yells "No!"
So I'm fine to leave this alone while I compile some information and advice. I don't have time to read and research all the available methods/approaches out there so I'm just going to put this up and ask for help from those who have been there done that. I know every child is different but I would really value hearing from some other mommies out there.
So, if you have a few minutes, please enlighten me by sharing a bit of your experience.
How do you know when they are "ready"?
When they seem "ready," how do you go about it? What has worked for you?
Many thanks.
Clueless Mommy
3 comments:
Aah, the joys of potty-training. She definitely sounds ready to me! With all three of my kids, I used the same approach you have already tried....just taking away the diaper! My oldest took 3 days before she stopped peeing on the floor. My middle child still doesn't tell me he has to go and always says "no" when I ask, but we have been out of diapers (for several months) without accident. I just place him on the toilet every 2 hours or so and he goes. He was like Ella and cried when I put him there at first, but I pushed through that and didn't take no for an answer. My youngest child took about a week before she finally got it. With each accident, I would put each child on the potty and explain that big kids go pee in the potty and get to wear big-kid underwear. I would do a happy dance when they were successful and give them a special treat...only for the first week or so. All three kids needed candy as their special treat (something they don't usually get). Stickers never worked, although I tried. I have found with all three kids that as soon as I put effort into training, it happened quickly. It was definitely parent-led and not kid-led, as some people say it should be. If I had waited for them to be "ready", it never would have happened, since they were very content wearing diapers. Good luck with this new stage in life! Getting rid of diapers is such a monumental moment and is usually as exciting for the kids as it is for the mommies. :)
Jen,
We are just in the beginning stages of this with Emily. I have been putting her on the potty in the morning after breaskfast when I know she normally goes. This has been pretty effective. It is still about 50/50 if she will go or not, but at this point I just want her to enjoy the potty. I am sure when she starts to get older I will get more serious about it. I am thinking about making a sticker chart to make it a little more fun for her. The one thing that has been told to me the most is that your child will do the initiating when they are truly ready, and for now Emily is not at that point so I am not gonna push it. On an interesting side note my mom seems to be able to get her to go on the potty without fail every time she comes, so maybe I just don't have the magic touch :)
Jen, sounds like waiting for the toilet insert is a good idea, it worked SUPER well for Kai.
First off, I would say, don't be nervous:) I was so nervous about it and it was 100X easier than I thought.
I know all kids are different, this is what we did with Kai...
When he was Michella's age, he would let us know that he was going in his diaper. When he was 2.5, we started. I put him in just underwear to run around the house. Sort of a reminder to him that he wasn't wearing a diaper. He basically peed on the floor three time before noon so I decided it was too soon. I didn't want to be cleaning up pee and whatever else all day long. So, I waited until he was really ready. You have to be willing to stay home for a few days to a week I'd say:)
He was 2 years and 8 months and we had talked about it for a week. I put him on the toilet and he went. We gave candy as treats and lots of praise. I thought I would have to put him on all the time, but he just did it on his own (we have a little stool for them to climb up). The only time I made him is when we were going out. The best thing was to have him running around in underwear so it was a constant reminder that there was a reason he didn't have pants on!
The hardest part was going #2 on the toilet (for him). He was pretty much potty trained the first day and didn't have an accident after the 3rd day.
I'm thinking I will start earlier with Koen as he just seems way more ready...we will see!
Oh yes, fun underwear is really important:) Then they will want to wear them rather than their diaper.
Have fun:)
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