Our sweetie Ella is growing and changing so fast! Andrey and I are especially smitten with her these days. I feel like I constantly want to jot things down so I can remember the latest little cute thing she did or grab the camera to try to capture what she's doing. Our photos do not come close to doing her boisterous and happy personality justice. Partly because we are not good photographers but mainly because when the camera is out she becomes subdued. With Mommy and Daddy and the kitties as her only companions she is in her element and we get to see the real Ella. She is so amazing!!! I wish you could see all that we see but I guess that's what family is about - a safe place to really be and become who you are. As I type, she is spinning around in circles laughing and giggling and falling down saying she's dizzy while Andrey plays the guitar. I love the sound of her laughter.
Ella is making some real gains in a few areas of independence. She is (finally!) beginning to walk more, which is so fantastic because she has gotten heavier and I find carrying her for any length of time challenging. I have been encouraging her to walk more because well, she's almost three(!) and she has shown that she can do it if she decides to so it's not usually about her feeling insecure. Plus, she is only occasionally insisting on it now. I am finding the use of encouragement and praise, small rewards, and referring to walking as something that "big girls" do to be working well. I stopped bringing the stroller with us to the mall. A few times when we've been out and she's asked me to carry her and I encouraged her to walk she has surprised me by walking and then saying, "big girl!"
Her communication abilities have really progressed. As opposed to before when she would say words of things she sees or communicate only when she needs or wants something, she has started trying to explain or tell us about something that happened, but does it partly in gibberish.
Like just now she was playing with the cat in the other room. She came over to me with tons of cat hair on her arm and proceeded to tell me all about it. It sounded something like this, "Uhhh, dee gaw... That one, there.. uhh... pull!, hairs!, arm....Fia!, (laughing) uhhhh, bwe laaa, uhhh, down!" And she involves her whole body when talking like this. Arms waving, pointing, wiggling. It's so cute!
It's like she's ready to interact with us in new ways but is still developing the language ability to do it. She is still learning and using new words all the time and is showing us how she can string more words together to communicate things in more detail. I have been so proud of her lately for communicating with us so well! She is learning that using several words together is really fun and effective!
We are making very small progress in potty training. I am trying the gradual approach. About a month ago when she gives me the signal that she's going to poo (distancing herself and saying "not yet!") I began grabbing her and bringing her into the bathroom to do it in her diaper. Lately I've been encouraging her to touch the toilet when she goes. A few days ago she surprised me by telling me, "Privacy. Poo poo. Bathroom?" So she has begun anticipating the need to poo and waits till she is in the bathroom before she gets started. Progress! Soon I will encourage her to sit on the toilet and poo in her diaper. I just keep telling her that one day when she's ready, she can use the toilet for poo and pee like a big girl and then she will get to wear big girl undies. So she knows, she just has to decide she's ready.
Lately on the weekends, and thanks to my fabulous husband, I've been able to get some much needed me time. This past Saturday I got out of the house with a girlfriend for coffee while Andrey and Ella got in lots of play time. Last night I went out for dinner with a few friends after Ella was asleep. What a treat!
I've also started having one of the young gals in our church over on Friday afternoons to hang out and play with Ella so I can get some computer time in or do some hassle-free cooking or go grocery shopping together without having to try to entertain Ella and shop at the same time. It's like having a nanny one afternoon a week (it's so nice!). I still have never left Ella with anyone other than Andrey. The hope is to get Ella comfortable with someone so that at some point (hopefully soon!) we might be able to get out of the house together for a few hours.
In light of all this growth, I was reminded of something very important this week. After a period of making significant gains (i.e. playing with friends for periods of time without needing Mommy much at all, playing on her own while Mommy gets something done while at home), Ella may need to back track a bit and require more attention and focused time from me. Just because she gains some independence in a few areas doesn't mean she doesn't need me anymore. I had gotten used to a new level of independence that I began to think this was the new normal. Naturally I pick up the little bits of independence I get as a result and run with them.
This past week some things that I think have been brewing for a while boiled over and she had an extremely rough day. She just lost it and she had an episode that was so reminiscent of the rough times we had during her initial adjustment to our family. Really, we haven't seen anything like it in more than seven months. I realize now that I wasn't cluing in to her need to draw close and refuel emotionally after she had ventured out into new areas of independence. When things are going so well it is easy to forget that she is not immune to emotional breakdowns that may be tied to grief, loss, fear of rejection, and insecurity.
I just often feel so unsure of myself. I question whether I should default to giving her all or most of my time and attention (and get very little done) or to challenge her and give her the opportunity to rise to it. I think I am learning that both are appropriate at times and it is a delicate balance that requires me to stay tuned-in and follow her lead - both when she show readiness and desire for more independence and when she needs to draw close.
I realize that I don't want to push her into anything before she's ready. I like the gradual approach with many aspects of parenting her. Occasionally she jumps forward and shows us that we have underestimated her but in many other things and times she shows us that she is in need of an extra dose of empathy and sensitivity. I'd rather err on the attachment/security side than to push to independence before she's ready. Wow, I am finding it so helpful to be able to process this!
Jeepers this is turning into a long post. Thanks for reading this far! I go a week or so thinking I have nothing to blog about and then when I sit down to do it I realize I actually have much to say - and it all ends up being about Ella! There really are lots of other things going on too but I simply run out of time to share any of it.
So to move on, here are a few pics from the past week or so...
The other day Ella was in fine form. She grabbed a magazine, rolled it up and played it like a guitar, then she positioned her bike handlebars and pointed to the "microphone". She sang and played the guitar and commanded Andrey and me to clap. Clever girl! (I tried to get Andrey to catch some of it on video. Will try and share some of it in another post.) She has such a sweet singing voice.
I can't hide it. I am so in love with this little girl.
Ella is making some real gains in a few areas of independence. She is (finally!) beginning to walk more, which is so fantastic because she has gotten heavier and I find carrying her for any length of time challenging. I have been encouraging her to walk more because well, she's almost three(!) and she has shown that she can do it if she decides to so it's not usually about her feeling insecure. Plus, she is only occasionally insisting on it now. I am finding the use of encouragement and praise, small rewards, and referring to walking as something that "big girls" do to be working well. I stopped bringing the stroller with us to the mall. A few times when we've been out and she's asked me to carry her and I encouraged her to walk she has surprised me by walking and then saying, "big girl!"
Her communication abilities have really progressed. As opposed to before when she would say words of things she sees or communicate only when she needs or wants something, she has started trying to explain or tell us about something that happened, but does it partly in gibberish.
Like just now she was playing with the cat in the other room. She came over to me with tons of cat hair on her arm and proceeded to tell me all about it. It sounded something like this, "Uhhh, dee gaw... That one, there.. uhh... pull!, hairs!, arm....Fia!, (laughing) uhhhh, bwe laaa, uhhh, down!" And she involves her whole body when talking like this. Arms waving, pointing, wiggling. It's so cute!
It's like she's ready to interact with us in new ways but is still developing the language ability to do it. She is still learning and using new words all the time and is showing us how she can string more words together to communicate things in more detail. I have been so proud of her lately for communicating with us so well! She is learning that using several words together is really fun and effective!
We are making very small progress in potty training. I am trying the gradual approach. About a month ago when she gives me the signal that she's going to poo (distancing herself and saying "not yet!") I began grabbing her and bringing her into the bathroom to do it in her diaper. Lately I've been encouraging her to touch the toilet when she goes. A few days ago she surprised me by telling me, "Privacy. Poo poo. Bathroom?" So she has begun anticipating the need to poo and waits till she is in the bathroom before she gets started. Progress! Soon I will encourage her to sit on the toilet and poo in her diaper. I just keep telling her that one day when she's ready, she can use the toilet for poo and pee like a big girl and then she will get to wear big girl undies. So she knows, she just has to decide she's ready.
Lately on the weekends, and thanks to my fabulous husband, I've been able to get some much needed me time. This past Saturday I got out of the house with a girlfriend for coffee while Andrey and Ella got in lots of play time. Last night I went out for dinner with a few friends after Ella was asleep. What a treat!
I've also started having one of the young gals in our church over on Friday afternoons to hang out and play with Ella so I can get some computer time in or do some hassle-free cooking or go grocery shopping together without having to try to entertain Ella and shop at the same time. It's like having a nanny one afternoon a week (it's so nice!). I still have never left Ella with anyone other than Andrey. The hope is to get Ella comfortable with someone so that at some point (hopefully soon!) we might be able to get out of the house together for a few hours.
In light of all this growth, I was reminded of something very important this week. After a period of making significant gains (i.e. playing with friends for periods of time without needing Mommy much at all, playing on her own while Mommy gets something done while at home), Ella may need to back track a bit and require more attention and focused time from me. Just because she gains some independence in a few areas doesn't mean she doesn't need me anymore. I had gotten used to a new level of independence that I began to think this was the new normal. Naturally I pick up the little bits of independence I get as a result and run with them.
This past week some things that I think have been brewing for a while boiled over and she had an extremely rough day. She just lost it and she had an episode that was so reminiscent of the rough times we had during her initial adjustment to our family. Really, we haven't seen anything like it in more than seven months. I realize now that I wasn't cluing in to her need to draw close and refuel emotionally after she had ventured out into new areas of independence. When things are going so well it is easy to forget that she is not immune to emotional breakdowns that may be tied to grief, loss, fear of rejection, and insecurity.
I just often feel so unsure of myself. I question whether I should default to giving her all or most of my time and attention (and get very little done) or to challenge her and give her the opportunity to rise to it. I think I am learning that both are appropriate at times and it is a delicate balance that requires me to stay tuned-in and follow her lead - both when she show readiness and desire for more independence and when she needs to draw close.
I realize that I don't want to push her into anything before she's ready. I like the gradual approach with many aspects of parenting her. Occasionally she jumps forward and shows us that we have underestimated her but in many other things and times she shows us that she is in need of an extra dose of empathy and sensitivity. I'd rather err on the attachment/security side than to push to independence before she's ready. Wow, I am finding it so helpful to be able to process this!
Jeepers this is turning into a long post. Thanks for reading this far! I go a week or so thinking I have nothing to blog about and then when I sit down to do it I realize I actually have much to say - and it all ends up being about Ella! There really are lots of other things going on too but I simply run out of time to share any of it.
So to move on, here are a few pics from the past week or so...
Reading to "baby" using her own language
A, One of Ella's playmates during one of our weekly play dates, hams it up for the camera
Ella and good buddy, R
Cleaning her bike - this was all her idea
Self-portrait
Dear friend M brought baby B over for a visit - I had the privilege of caring for M and baby B before he was born (I did her prenatal care until we got Ella). He is such a cutie!
Ella LOVES babies! If she's around a baby, she wants to hold the baby. She did great holding baby B!
Must have Goodnight Moon before every bedtime, naps included
Getting ready to head to the mall. Ella put her own shoes on and grabbed her purse to show mommy she was ready to go. (It's strange how the flash makes her look a lot darker than she is but my house doesn't have the best light on raining days.)
The other day Ella was in fine form. She grabbed a magazine, rolled it up and played it like a guitar, then she positioned her bike handlebars and pointed to the "microphone". She sang and played the guitar and commanded Andrey and me to clap. Clever girl! (I tried to get Andrey to catch some of it on video. Will try and share some of it in another post.) She has such a sweet singing voice.
5 comments:
Awesome photos...and i think she is also so in love with you. I really love her imaginative mind that is so evident in her play.
Jen, what amazing parents you are. And, you are such a great resource for other parents as you have so much to share.
I love hearing where Ella is at, what a girl! A bike handle as a microphone, good imagination!
Parenting can be such a difficult task both mentally and physically and it sounds like you guys are doing a fantastic job!! I always question whether what I'm doing is the best approach but I guess everyone does that! Ella is obviously thriving and she is the cutest little girl especially when she shows her beautiful smile! Thanks for sharing and I just love all the photos. Take care.
I wonder if Ella and Peanut were good friends in the orphanage. Peanut can really ham it up too. You and Andrey are doing a beautiful job with her. It's so exciting to see how much she is changing. I hope I'll be able to say the same about our girls as the months go by.
I also wanted to say that I loved your post below. What wondrous gifts are given us when we put God first.
Thank you also for the info on sunscreen.
Blessings!
Deborah
Thankyou for sharing your journey. Thankyou for giving us a glimpse into your life. It's been years since we've been in touch...come to think of it, it was at your wedding that we last saw each other. Andre, I'm so glad I got in touch with you a few weeks ago, and Jen, I'm so glad you have a blog that we can follow. Life sometimes takes us all in different directions, but as I look back on my life, it is so amazing to see those that made an impact on our lives...Andre, you were one of those people...you were real, your were honest, you were a great friend. May the two of you be deeply blessed...and from reading your blog, it looks like you have been already. I will continue to follow your blog, follow your story...and watch you chase your dreams.
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