Visit to Our Daughter's Birth Place

Earlier this week Andrey, Ella and I went to the city where Ella was born to file papers for her new birth certificate. This was the main purpose of our trip but we also wanted to get photos of the city for Ella's life book and leave a letter and some photos with the social welfare office for her birth parents. Ella did great! She was so comfortable with it all and I think it's because we talk about things and certain people from her background so often that if feels very natural for her. She was excited about the trip and once we arrived she proudly exclaimed, "I was born here!" Overall we feel very satisfied with how the trip went.

Our first and most important stop was to the civil registry office. Our contact there was so friendly and welcoming and very helpful. She kept saying that Ella looked familiar to her. Well as it turns out, this woman is a relative of Ella's foster mother and remembers Ella as a baby.

Our next stop was to the City Health office birthing clinic. We did not anticipate going there but when we saw how close it was to City Hall I remembered that this place was listed on Ella's birth certificate as her actual place of birth. Ella thought it was super cool to see the place where she was born.  Why not stop in? Heck, why not check and see if the midwife who attended her birth still works there? As it turns out she does and we got to meet her! They were so kind to show us some records and even gave us the result of her newborn screening we never knew she had. No problems there, as expected. :-)

Women in blue (left to right) are the midwife and doctor who attended/supervised Ella's birth.

Then we took the afternoon to visit one of the top tourist attractions in Roxas City.  Baybay Beach is just 3km from the city center, is 7km long and quite beautiful.  Ella loved playing in the dark grey sand and running along the beach. We stayed till dusk and ended up having a couple of beers and a snack at a tiny beachfront resort.  We also learned that the neighborhood where Ella's birth family lives is just next to this beach.  As I watched local families and fishermen (Ella's birth father is a fisherman) I was able to imagine what their life might be like.  Ella didn't seem so interested so I kept my imaginations to myself.  She was clearly very excited for a chance to play on the beach. :-)

The next day Andrey and Ella went on a morning walk and got a few shots of the city center. Our hotel was a perfect location for this. It was raining so a few of these shots are a bit blurry in spots.

Our last stop in Roxas before heading back to Iloilo where we flew in and where Ella was living when we met her in 2010, was the Department of Social Welfare office to meet the woman who handled Ella's various placements and transitions in care. She too remembered Ella as a baby and  told us that Ella had stayed in her home for a week before she was brought to the children's home where we eventually met her. Apparently there were requirements missing that delayed that particular transition and so the social worker temporarily housed her while she got the necessary paperwork together. She was delighted to see us.

We left a letter and some photos with her to be given to the birth family and we asked her not to disclose our last name or where we live to them. We explained how we just want to make contact indirectly for now and asked if their office would help mediate our communication and gather some information to fill in some of the holes we have about Ella's original family situation. She agreed. She offered for me to see Ella's case file but we didn't have much time as she had a meeting and we had to get on the road. I do hope we'll be able to gather some details with her help so that we have it available at the appropriate time.

Here we are in a tricycle, the main form of transportation in Roxas on our way to the van terminal to get a ride back to Iloilo and feeling so satisfied with what we accomplished and the connections we made.

Before we flew out in the afternoon we paid a visit to the children's home where we met Ella almost three years ago.  When we arrived, I was amazed when Ella reached for and hugged the three women she was closest to during her time there. She knew exactly who they were. Now anyone who knows her or has spent any time with her knows that she is not a people-pleaser and will not say hi or smile and especially will not give hugs to anyone if she doesn't want to.  So her greeting them in this way was above and beyond what I expected.

The staff at the home said it was the first time one of their kids who were adopted abroad had come back for a visit so it was very special for all of us. Of course, it's easier for us since we haven't actually gone "abroad" since becoming Ella's parents. They were so pleased to see Ella in person and made comments at how beautiful and talkative she is. 

I was so impressed with her.  With each person we met that played some sort of role in her history - especially those in our photos that we've talked about, she greeted, smiled and even hugged, either spontaneously or when asked (like the social worker at the end of our visit). It was very sweet to see. All in all we kept visits short as we didn't want to put too much attention on Ella and make her feel uncomfortable and that seemed to help keep her at ease as well.

Ella may not remember much about this visit when she is older but we have the photos to document it so she can see and know a little bit about where she came from.  Plus, we get to have her birth certificate with our names on it and she can keep her Filipino citizenship.  So special!