I Didn't Know...

- I would be her chocolate pusher.

- that she could eat that much fish in such a short amount of time.
 
- that she would be fearless in the water and teach herself to swim.

- that she would push off from the top of a tall slide just so she could go faster.

- that she would love long airplane rides and wearing socks and playing in the rain.

I didn't know

- that she would love singing at the top of her lungs and sing in tune.

- that she would pump her arms when she runs.

- that she'd be so ticklish.

- that she would make me laugh so much.

I also didn't know what loving her would feel like or how she would meld so perfectly into our family.

Our girl turned three on Friday. On her second birthday, we hadn't met yet and we knew very little about her. Nearly a year later, we have a healthy, thriving, happy, adventurous and lively three-year-old. She is so closely knit into our hearts and lives it is difficult to imagine what life was like before she was ours.

Happy Birthday, Michella!

Play kitchen and a Potty

It's time to play catch up again. Here is a slice of life the past few weeks. 

I had this great(?) idea to fill a basin with navy and mung beans and let Ella play. The thrill has already worn off but she did enjoy filling and scooping and stirring and getting them all over the floor and helping mommy sweep them up for at least several weeks. When the scooping fun began to wear off she got creative and started to pretend the beans were water to be bathed in. Here she is washing my hair. Notice me trying to extract the navy bean from my nostril before it was lost in my brain somewhere. I found the annoyingly tiny mung beans in my hair hours afterward, not to mention all over the house for weeks.

Sure, Dad... I'll help you wash the car!

We have been swimming like crazy these past weeks. I think we've gone six times in the past two weeks thanks to two long weekends in a row and some great weather. Never a bad time for some goofy family shots... 

 

Admiring our friend, the bear (towel, that is). Andrey chose to buy this towel AWA (against wife's advice) many years back and has a weird special affection for it. Now Ella loves it too.

Ella's kitchen is coming along slowly. I just put the fridge door on today. I was able to cut the sink and faucet holes and the oven window successfully with a drill and hand saw. I was feeling pretty awesome about myself after accomplishing those. I'm having a ton of fun doing it, despite me having to adjust my expectations of how much I can get done at a time. I am so task-oriented it's so hard to stop once I get going but Ella can only entertain herself for so long. I have to do little bits at a time and then leave it for days till another chance comes around. I learned early on that using her nap time to work on it is counterproductive since the sound of the drill is not compatible with sleep. Like duh! I'll post photos once it's done.

Ella tells us when she's feeling tired or scared. We think it's great that she is able to identify these feelings and share them with us. The tired word has come up a lot lately due to all the swimming! She has learned some other emotions as well...

Hey Ella, show me your surprised face!

Okay, how about your happy face?

Sad face? (she's trying not to laugh here)

And your mad face? (Still trying not to laugh.) She usually does mad by putting her hands in fists on her hips and growls... very cute.

Who knew motherhood would make me so crafty? I just finished Ella's birthday invitations and I think these came out kind of cute. For someone who typical does not enjoy such projects, I had fun planning and making these. I got some ideas off the internet, and then one trip to the bookstore and less than $5 later, I had lots of cutting and gluing to do. Ella's really into Curious George and all kinds of animals these days so I thought this paper was perfect (it's actually wrapping paper). It has pink elephants and giraffes on it, too, just not shown in this one.

And last, but not least... The Potty. Yes, folks, it is that special because it has been the missing piece in our potty training attempts over the past six months. I will spare you all the details but suffice to say it is going well. We are seeing success at home the majority of the time and last weekend even saw a bit of success while out and about. We still have days when I feel we're not getting anywhere and then there are days when I feel like we've arrived. We are trying to follow Ella's lead so it is a gradual process with many fits and starts but I'm feeling confident enough to say now that things are coming along. It has been a practice (for ME mainly) in going with the flow, so to speak. :-)

Our Little Fish

Last weekend was a four day weekend. The weather was fantastic. After a few weeks of almost daily storms, we decided to capitalize on the hot sun and took Ella swimming three days in a row. We had a blast. 

Ella's skills in the pool have continued to improve. She amazes us with her mostly self-discovered abilities. It's so fun swimming with her because it is her absolute most fun thing to do and she goes at it with such gusto. People often watch, ask us how old she is and then comment about how good of a swimmer she is. We happen to think she is quite remarkable!

This Week...

Andrey's been in Manila and is coming home this morning. I told Ella we will go to the airport to pick Daddy up and she said while grunting, "'imup! imup!"and motioned as if she is picking up something really heavy. Cuteness.

Ella played the best I've ever seen with the older girls on one of our weekly play dates. Instead of being content to do her own thing while the other girls played together, she really participated! It brought me so much joy. She was really expressive and funny and made the other girls laugh. They played knock-knock at the door, and hotel in Ella's bedroom and appeared to be having a great time. Ella gave a big smile and waved when they left. The next day she asked me, "friends?"

Ella started saying thank you without me soliciting it from her. What a nice thing to hear after I give her something! She's done it many times since and surprises me every time. I guess all that modeling does eventually pay off. Oh and she also started saying, "Excuse me."

Ella and I did a lot of cooking together. She loves to put her apron on and stand on a chair at the counter to do some "cooking" alongside mommy. We made bread this week and Ella loved playing with her own dough. I also have a large bin full of dried beans that she plays with with lots of containers and scoops and other kitchen utensils.

Ella discovered a new favorite song. Since then she has requested it over and over and over again. The other day I put on a new (to me) Chris Tomlin album. The first song is called Our God and goes, Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other..." I heard her singing along (in the sweetest little voice ever) using the last word of each line. I guess she knows the words from when we sing this at church. ...Greater... stronger... When I turned around to watch her (her back was to me as she was busy with her dough, flour was everywhere) I saw her moving her little body to the music, doing her little half-squat hip-sway. Then she put her hand in the air and when she saw that I was looking she commanded me to raise my hand. "Hands! Mmmee!" I turned up the music and she got down from the chair and discovered her reflection in the oven window, which made her dance even more. She clearly enjoyed checking herself out as she tried out some new moves. Oh my goodness, could she be any more fun and adorable?

Ella is really focused on learning new phrases. She practices saying certain words together now and will repeat them over and over till she feels she's gotten it. She doesn't seem to get frustrated, just focused and determined, just like she's taught herself to swim. She's been able to say several two word phrases for some time (a fave lately is "Bye friends!") but putting adjectives with nouns is new and that's what she seems to be practicing the most these days. Tonight she practiced saying brown bear. She was really thinking about it and said it over and over again while clearly concentrating. After about 5 tries she got it. And she's speaking lots of new short sentences like "Mommy, sit here." When i asked this morning, "Ella do you want your pink shorts?" She replied  "No, brown shorts!" I am so proud of her!

I've picked up the potty training attempts again. A friend of mine, in response to my complaints about getting tired of cleaning huge toddler poops out of cloth diapers in the toilet with a spray gun while trying not to touch any poop (impossible!) suggested I get a little potty (as opposed to the toddler seat I have in our bathroom) and put it in the main area during the day so she can see it. Well, I went out Friday and Ella picked out her own little potty. It's a gaudy little thing but she sure is excited about it. It even plays music. I never would have guessed I'd ever buy such a thing but since we brought it home at 5 pm on Friday, she's hasn't gone pee anywhere else except in that potty during her waking hours at home! My other friend encouraged me to just give it a go again and just be prepared to clean up lots of accidents for a while and know it will eventually get better. (Thanks E and S for the ideas and encouragement! I'm so thankful to have you experienced mommas around!) I'm just wondering... Why haven't I done this sooner? Oh wait, it's because I have NO idea what I'm doing... right.

And the last little item from this week that I'd like to share is that I've decided to make Ella her very own play kitchen for her birthday, which is coming up next month. I've made a plan and am ready to figure out how the heck to do it without any power tools and no Home Depot. I was super excited to get started today until Andrey and I took a trip to the best hardware store we know of. Let's just say I had some unrealistic expectations. I left feeling deflated. (I know my Dad and Dad-in-law know this feeling after they set out to complete home improvement projects during visits to Cebu!) It won't be as easy as I thought but I have decided to rally and get creative. Anyone have any ideas how to cut a small hole in a piece of wood without a power saw? ha ha ha this is going to be fun.

Have a great weekend!

If you want to know, just ask me

I had a classic Philippines experience the other day. I went to see a doctor. I brought my helper along to help me with Ella. We walked into a full waiting room. We were not inside more than 30 seconds before a couple of women started asking my helper questions about me and Ella in Cebuano.

Is she her daughter? 
Does she live here?
Is her husband Filipino? 

These are the same questions I am most frequently asked. My helper politely and quietly answered all their questions. I understood all of it. Before she could answer the third question I turned to the inquisitive ladies and replied pleasantly in Cebuano, No, my husband is also an American. It's okay, you can ask me if you have a question. 


You would think they would either then transfer their conversation to me or just stop asking questions but no, they just completely ignored me and went back to talking to my helper. About me. In a full waiting room with everyone listening.

This is where a little self-talk is helpful.

They are just curious. Asking personal questions of strangers isn't considered rude here. They don't mean anything by it. Just ignore them. Don't be a jerk, Jenifer.

And it's not like I can realistically expect my helper to not answer their initial questions, because that would really be rude.

I realize that me not having a nanny and taking her everywhere with me (it's very strange that a woman of my "status" does not have a nanny) buys me a little anonymity. I still get the occasional and usual questions about my daughter. But I realize now that those come from the really gutsy Filipinos who are brave enough to ask me a question directly. It would happen so much more often if I had a local person with me wherever I went.

Like today at the grocery store. I happened to have one of the young adults from my church with me. I didn't even notice but when we got back to my house she told me how numerous people in the grocery store had asked her if Ella was my daughter. I was glad I didn't notice.

I don't blame people for being curious. It does raise interest seeing a white woman carrying a Filipino child around - especially when we are so clearly close and in love with each other. What we have is very special and I like to think that people pick up on that right away and want to know. Plus, my daughter is extremely cute so she naturally draws attention. People do often tell me she's beautiful.

Compared to the personal questions I got before I had a child, I never mind answering the question, "Is she your daughter?" I love to proudly answer with a big smile while holding her close, "Yes, she is mine." I just wish everyone asked me and not someone I happen to be with.

Monday Morning

Sometimes I can feel a little sad with the start of a new week when Andrey goes back to work. It's mainly because I love having him around and the family time we have on the weekends and the welcome break I get not being the only one to care for and entertain Ella. It's just more fun to do it together.

But I know that feeling isn't one I should dwell on. This morning I am reminded of God's faithfulness and his new mercy. I am specifically thankful that my husband has work. Not just work but a dream job in many respects. How many people do we know that do not have work and are struggling to provide for their families? How many families do we know that are living apart due to financial constraints (husbands or wives living in another city because of work opportunities, this is very common in the Philippines)? And here we are with PLENTY and SO so much to be thankful for beyond just financial provision.

I am also thankful for the good health we enjoy. This is easy to remember when I think about our neighbors next door (who are also our good friends) who lost a wife/mother to cancer a few months ago.

I am thankful that I am able to stay home with Ella - that I'm not forced to work. What a privilege. I have realized (again) that attachment is a process and our girl is still very much bonding to us and our family. I'm so thankful I can be a constant presence for her.

Here are a few shots from our Monday morning - quite typical of weekday mornings around here. 

Ella, still in her PJ's out for an early morning bike ride with some cereal in her basket to munch on.

The bees are having breakfast, too. Ella and Andrey regularly have morning walks together and they love to watch the bees.

It's a mobile breakfast this morning.

Another thing to be thankful for - our wonderful helper! It's not even 7 am and she's busy cleaning up the yard waste she chopped down from our crazy jungle garden last Friday. Love this woman!

And here a few moments from Friday afternoon.

With "Ate Rau Rau" (FYI 'Ate' is pronounced Ah-tay and means older sister) Ella loves her play time with Ate Rau2x on Friday afternoons.

 

One of Ella's favorite activities when Daddy comes home from work

 

What are you thankful for at the start of a new week?

Some random stuff and as usual, lots about Ella

Andrey and I finally got to celebrate our anniversary this weekend. Yes, nearly a month late but we were fasting during the actual day and couldn't take advantage of any of the usual celebratory foods - namely chocolate and alcohol. We ordered some yummy food from one of our favorite restaurants and had a date after Ella went to bed. A bottle of champagne, some posh Mexican food, a homemade six minute chocolate cake and a viewing of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (love that movie!) made for a fun date night at home to celebrate the beginning of our tenth year together.

Last week I grabbed a few shots of Ella on our little street. She was in a rare mood  - relatively willing to be herself in front of the camera. This girl has so much personality. Her mind and body are active and busy and so much fun to watch.

Ella's weekly play date with R. How cute are they!?  

I found some finger paint this week.  Ella was so excited about it when I bought it for her that she even passed up an opportunity to enjoy the slide at the mall playground (unheard of) because all she wanted  to do was go directly home to paint. After a quick trip to the grocery, that is what we did.

We joined Andrey on a business trip this week. Ella amazed us again with her love of all things travel. Her excitement level is set to high anytime we are in an airport or airplane. When we returned to Cebu, Ella told my friend, whom she's spent a bit of time with, "Airport! Airplane! Fly! Manila!" This photo is fuzzy but it shows how elated she is and how good she feels about pulling her own bag.

Even on long taxi rides, this girl is amazing. Not having a car seat helps. 

At the Manila airport, beginning our trip home to Cebu. Look at my big girl!

Back at home... Sometimes she just does not want her picture taken.

We did a bit of yard work yesterday. Andrey had the garden shears out and Ella really wanted to help so we got her scissors (the ones we recently realized she can use like a pro) and let her go to town on the shrubs. The plants in our garden grow like crazy so it's no harm to cut anything back. After a while, Ella grabbed a chair and sat down in front of the bushes and continued her work. Then she went inside and got a chair for Daddy saying, "Chair! Own!"

Some things Ella is into these days:

•  Loud music, especially her favorite song, that Chris Tomlin song that goes... strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord we will wait upon the Lord... when it comes on she says, "Loud! Sing!" and will sing along with gusto. Oh and she often demands us to sing with her. No talking, Mom & Dad... Sing! (I wonder if I should have her hearing checked because she also really likes turning the TV volume up when watching Elmo)

• Cutting - as I mentioned she is able to use scissors now. When she first found this skill she spent long periods of time (okay, long for a toddler) cutting paper into a gazillion tiny pieces. Lately she is more intrigued by trimming plants outside.

• Food - she's been eating so much lately! Favorite food these days? Chicken. Man can she eat a lot of chicken. 

• Trying out two words together - Up until recently she has been limited to stringing single words together but not making sentences yet. I have encouraged her for months to say things like "blue cup" or "hot coffee." She can say blue and cup but when prompted to say them together she'd just put an uhh or ahh in front of the second word, like "ahh cup." Well last week, she, completely of her own accord, started putting adjectives with nouns. It's very sweet because we can see that she is really focusing and concentrating and when she says something and we understand and praise her, she clearly feels very good about herself. Lately, she's been saying things like water slide, yellow bus, black pants, brown shorts, purple shirt, hot egg, etc... Way to go, Ella!

The other day I told Ella we were going to pick Daddy up (from the airport). She then motioned as if to pick up something heavy and said, "Daddy, 'im up, ughhh, heavy!" She is total cuteness!

You may have noticed I've been letting Ella's bangs grow. This is what it looks like when she takes her clip out. I think it's hilarious because it reminds me of the Adam's Family It. She is not happy about me taking this photo at all.

Next month, Ella will turn three! I am already planning her party. This first birthday together just feels so significant. It will also be one week short of us being together a year so we feel it is appropriate to make a big deal out of it. If anything it is to reflect how full our hearts are. We just want to celebrate! So a pool party we will have at a place near the mountains. I just booked the place today. We're so excited. I am currently researching woodworking plans for the play kitchen I hope to make for her. I'm eager to start a fun project. I bought a bunch of kitchen supplies when we were in the States so I have all that ready to go. Just need the kitchen. There are tons of really cute do it yourself ideas that can be found on line. I just have to pick one and then figure out how to go about it. Should be interesting.

Newbie Mom Worries

My baby is sick. Early last week she started in with a cold. She's had a cough the last few days, mainly at night. Up until yesterday she's been fine otherwise. Then yesterday afternoon I noticed she wouldn't eat much and she kept saying she was tired and wanted to lie down. I should have clued in that that meant she was feeling sick to her stomach but since I've barely ever seen her like that I didn't think about it... until she barfed on me two minutes after we sat down to dinner. Andrey is away in Manila but I had two visitors who were so amazing to get up immediately and clean the barf that trailed from the dining room to the kitchen where I brought Ella to finish barfing. (Yes, I like to refer to vomit as barf. It's the word Ella uses since it's the one we taught her and it is very cute to hear her say 'barf!... barf..ing'. I blame it on the fact that I grew up with two brothers. Throw up/vomit is just gross. I find barf to be the most descriptive and fun word to use!)

She seemed to feel better after that and was able to keep a tiny bit of food and water down so I wasn't worried. She fell asleep fast and hard last night and was only up once in the night with the coughing. I've given her Benadryl twice now over the past two nights to help her sleep. This morning she slept in till 7, which I expected. We got up and I gave her a bit of breakfast. I was encouraged that she ate a little bit of cereal and drank some milk. But here's what is strange. By the time her egg was ready she was nearly dozing at the table and asking to lie down. As soon as I put her down she was out. It's nearly 9 and she's still asleep.

I know it's nothing to worry about at this point, especially since she ate and drank this morning and hasn't vomited again and she doesn't have a fever but it is still very strange for her to sleep this much and be so tired in the morning! I guess she just either really needs the rest or the Benadryl is having some delayed effect. I gave her Benadryl at 11 pm last night though. That was a long time ago.

All this to say, I feel like a classic new mom this morning. Totally fighting the urge to worry. Ella has been sick before, mainly colds and fevers but she's always been her normal self energy-wise. With her seeming so out of it and uber sleepy I am finding it disconcerting.

For now I will pray, and ask Jesus to take care of her and to show me if there is anything different I should be doing. After all, my sweet Ella belongs to the Lord and he is the one who loves her and cares for her way better than I can. I trust him to give me wisdom if there is anything I need to do.

As much as I often wish I had more time to myself to get certain things done, I don't like this quiet Saturday morning with Andrey away and Ella asleep. I'd rather have her up and about making a mess while she "helps" me make our typical Saturday morning pancakes.

Update: Ella's awake and is much more herself now. All seems well and this new mom is relieved.  Have a great weekend everyone!

2 Years, 10 Months (Together 10 Months)

Our sweetie Ella is growing and changing so fast! Andrey and I are especially smitten with her these days. I feel like I constantly want to jot things down so I can remember the latest little cute thing she did or grab the camera to try to capture what she's doing. Our photos do not come close to doing her boisterous and happy personality justice. Partly because we are not good photographers but mainly because when the camera is out she becomes subdued. With Mommy and Daddy and the kitties as her only companions she is in her element and we get to see the real Ella. She is so amazing!!! I wish you could see all that we see but I guess that's what family is about - a safe place to really be and become who you are. As I type, she is spinning around in circles laughing and giggling and falling down saying she's dizzy while Andrey plays the guitar. I love the sound of her laughter.

Ella is making some real gains in a few areas of independence. She is (finally!) beginning to walk more, which is so fantastic because she has gotten heavier and I find carrying her for any length of time challenging. I have been encouraging her to walk more because well, she's almost three(!) and she has shown that she can do it if she decides to so it's not usually about her feeling insecure. Plus, she is only occasionally insisting on it now. I am finding the use of encouragement and praise, small rewards, and referring to walking as something that "big girls" do to be working well. I stopped bringing the stroller with us to the mall. A few times when we've been out and she's asked me to carry her and I encouraged her to walk she has surprised me by walking and then saying, "big girl!"

Her communication abilities have really progressed. As opposed to before when she would say words of things she sees or communicate only when she needs or wants something, she has started trying to explain or tell us about something that happened, but does it partly in gibberish.

Like just now she was playing with the cat in the other room. She came over to me with tons of cat hair on her arm and proceeded to tell me all about it. It sounded something like this, "Uhhh, dee gaw... That one, there.. uhh... pull!, hairs!, arm....Fia!, (laughing) uhhhh, bwe laaa, uhhh, down!" And she involves her whole body when talking like this. Arms waving, pointing, wiggling. It's so cute!

It's like she's ready to interact with us in new ways but is still developing the language ability to do it. She is still learning and using new words all the time and is showing us how she can string more words together to communicate things in more detail. I have been so proud of her lately for communicating with us so well! She is learning that using several words together is really fun and effective!

We are making very small progress in potty training. I am trying the gradual approach. About a month ago when she gives me the signal that she's going to poo (distancing herself and saying "not yet!") I began grabbing her and bringing her into the bathroom to do it in her diaper. Lately I've been encouraging her to touch the toilet when she goes. A few days ago she surprised me by telling me, "Privacy. Poo poo. Bathroom?" So she has begun anticipating the need to poo and waits till she is in the bathroom before she gets started. Progress! Soon I will encourage her to sit on the toilet and poo in her diaper. I just keep telling her that one day when she's ready, she can use the toilet for poo and pee like a big girl and then she will get to wear big girl undies. So she knows, she just has to decide she's ready. 

Lately on the weekends, and thanks to my fabulous husband, I've been able to get some much needed me time. This past Saturday I got out of the house with a girlfriend for coffee while Andrey and Ella got in lots of play time. Last night I went out for dinner with a few friends after Ella was asleep. What a treat!

I've also started having one of the young gals in our church over on Friday afternoons to hang out and play with Ella so I can get some computer time in or do some hassle-free cooking or go grocery shopping together without having to try to entertain Ella and shop at the same time. It's like having a nanny one afternoon a week (it's so nice!). I still have never left Ella with anyone other than Andrey. The hope is to get Ella comfortable with someone so that at some point (hopefully soon!) we might be able to get out of the house together for a few hours.

In light of all this growth, I was reminded of something very important this week. After a period of making significant gains (i.e. playing with friends for periods of time without needing Mommy much at all, playing on her own while Mommy gets something done while at home), Ella may need to back track a bit and require more attention and focused time from me. Just because she gains some independence in a few areas doesn't mean she doesn't need me anymore. I had gotten used to a new level of independence that I began to think this was the new normal. Naturally I pick up the little bits of independence I get as a result and run with them.
 This past week some things that I think have been brewing for a while boiled over and she had an extremely rough day. She just lost it and she had an episode that was so reminiscent of the rough times we had during her initial adjustment to our family. Really, we haven't seen anything like it in more than seven months. I realize now that I wasn't cluing in to her need to draw close and refuel emotionally after she had ventured out into new areas of independence. When things are going so well it is easy to forget that she is not immune to emotional breakdowns that may be tied to grief, loss, fear of rejection, and insecurity.

I just often feel so unsure of myself. I question whether I should default to giving her all or most of my time and attention (and get very little done) or to challenge her and give her the opportunity to rise to it. I think I am learning that both are appropriate at times and it is a delicate balance that requires me to stay tuned-in and follow her lead - both when she show readiness and desire for more independence and when she needs to draw close.

I realize that I don't want to push her into anything before she's ready. I like the gradual approach with many aspects of parenting her. Occasionally she jumps forward and shows us that we have underestimated her but in many other things and times she shows us that she is in need of an extra dose of empathy and sensitivity. I'd rather err on the attachment/security side than to push to independence before she's ready. Wow, I am finding it so helpful to be able to process this!

Jeepers this is turning into a long post. Thanks for reading this far! I go a week or so thinking I have nothing to blog about and then when I sit down to do it I realize I actually have much to say - and it all ends up being about Ella! There really are lots of other things going on too but I simply run out of time to share any of it.

So to move on, here are a few pics from the past week or so...

Reading to "baby" using her own language

A, One of Ella's playmates during one of our weekly play dates, hams it up for the camera

Ella and good buddy, R

Cleaning her bike - this was all her idea

Self-portrait

Dear friend M brought baby B over for a visit - I had the privilege of caring for M and baby B before he was born (I did her prenatal care until we got Ella). He is such a cutie!

Ella LOVES babies! If she's around a baby, she wants to hold the baby. She did great holding baby B!

Must have Goodnight Moon before every bedtime, naps included

Getting ready to head to the mall. Ella put her own shoes on and grabbed her purse to show mommy she was ready to go. (It's strange how the flash makes her look a lot darker than she is but my house doesn't have the best light on raining days.)

The other day Ella was in fine form. She grabbed a magazine, rolled it up and played it like a guitar, then she positioned her bike handlebars and pointed to the "microphone". She sang and played the guitar and commanded Andrey and me to clap. Clever girl! (I tried to get Andrey to catch some of it on video. Will try and share some of it in another post.) She has such a sweet singing voice.

I can't hide it. I am so in love with this little girl.

Nine Years! (Our Story)

Nine years ago I married this Canadian guy, Andrey. We met at church four years prior. We were friends. We hung out in the same social circle. We went to coffee shops to study together (he was in law school, I was studying nutrition). We were not remotely interested in each other.

I thought he was too nerdy and clean-cut for me. That was back when I still cared about being cool and actually thought I was. (Turns out self-awareness comes with age and putting off of the old self, or false self, comes with discipleship.) Andrey thought I was a little too "edgy." I used to dye my hair in wild colors - from platinum blonde to red/orange. You can see why it took nearly four years before things changed (although friends saw it well before we did).

Over those four years I changed a lot and learned more about who I really was. Andrey was still nerdy and clean cut but I began to see him very differently. He was a guy that everybody loves (still is!) with a personality that draws you to him. (How did I resist his manly charms for so long!?)

Alaska, 1999 - I'm the blonde in the front

Alaska, 1999 - Andrey is front right

Andrey and I led a home group together and got to know each other better. I was so impressed with how well we worked together and was especially impressed when he defended me to a guy in our group that said that it was okay for me to "serve refreshments" but not okay for me to pray out loud. I began viewing this nerdy guy in a different light. This guy was quality.

Then, a year or so later, God really turned on the light. I couldn't get him out of my mind so I prayed and prayed and prayed that the Lord would show me if this was it. He did. God asked me what I wanted and did I want Andrey? After listing all his wonderful qualities on paper and comparing them to my list of qualities I wanted in a husband (and I decided I could let the item good dancer go), I realized he measured up to everything. I told the Lord, yes, this is the guy I want. And this was before I really knew how great he is!

I kept this revelation to myself as Andrey was traveling in SE Asia (including Thailand and the Philippines, who knew?) after taking the BAR exam. What I didn't know is that he was also praying to try to figure out "what to do about Jen."

When he returned home to Seattle and we saw each other again at church, there was a huge spark. We made excuses to hang out a few times and soon after he asked me out on "some dates." I hid my extreme excitement as I heard this and responded with, "Umm, sure, that would be great." Then I went inside my house to my four female roommates and squealed on the floor like a school girl. Within a week of our first date we were madly in love. Like seriously giddy, drunk, can't focus on anything else, in love. Having to wait TWO months for that proposal felt like FOREVER!

He took me snowboarding and we got engaged on a snowy mountain in Vancouver. What a dreamy day!

Abbotsford, BC - January, 2002 - Engagement Party

Six months after the proposal, we married on July 12, 2002.

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico - July 2002 - Honeymoon

I had no idea how life-giving our relationship would be and where God would take us together. Andrey is my best friend and is absolutely my most favorite person to be with. He is so even keel and solid and kind and loving - even when I'm not so easy to love. And he is an amazing father.

He has played a huge part in the deep emotional and spiritual healing I have experienced over the past decade. I'll never forget when we got together when he called me a jewel of creation. This is a picture of true love. All made possible because of our Father in heaven who is the definition of Love. This is the kind of love that transforms and empowers and the whole thing is marked with joy.

I love you, Andrey! Happy Anniversary!