Our social worker from Manila arrived this morning in Cebu and we completed the first day of our home study. We spent the morning together at our house answering questions - First about what type of child we are willing to accept; Second- about our marriage; Lastly - about parenting.
After discussing what type of child we were willing to accept, we expanded our wishes a bit. We settled on being willing to take in either a single child (0-2 years old) of either sex or a sibling pair (0-3 years old) including twins or for example, a 3 and 1 year old set of siblings. Funny though how that last option excites me. What are we thinking???
We were told that there are many more boys available than girls (unlike other paternistic cultures, Filipinos prefer daughters over sons). Since we are open to either sex (which may get us a match sooner than later) it is likely we would get matched with a boy. Also, the fact that we are willing to take in a sibling pair may also increase our chances of getting a match sooner than later. Either way we're looking at early 2010 at the earliest to be matched with a child or as late as late 2010/early 2011. But it's in the Lord's hands and we trust He is the one who will do the matching. :)
Tomorrow we will meet with the social worker again for the afternoon. We will tour our house with her and discuss which photos we should take to submit to the Philippines gov't. Then we'll talk with her individually. I'm not totally sure what she'll want to talk about then but maybe our individual histories/backgrounds. We'll see. She's a really nice woman and talking with her is easy. It helps too that we have nothing to hide and we feel confident that we can properly care for the child/children that God prepares for us.
I feel excited and hopeful today and recognize a STRONG desire within me to love a child.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Successful Manila Trip
On Thursday Andrey and I successfully submitted the "Advanced Processing of an Orphan" form with the US Citizen and Immigration Service at the US Embassy. It was a surprisingly quick and smooth process. We were fingerprinted and paid a large fee. We'll have to submit our home study report to them once it's ready and then we can check that big-deal to-do item off our list. It's very satisfying to have that done.
Pain in the Neck Lump in the Throat
I must have eaten something bad on Wednesday because after hours of feeling nauseous and in the middle of the night I vomited for the first time in maybe a decade. That is no fun. Since then I've been experiencing extreme discomfort in my esophagus, especially when I swallow. The pain is so reminiscent of when I had radiation therapy to my neck and chest 13 years ago. This led me to wonder if I tore some old scar tissue lesions in my esophagus. Why else would vomiting one time cause such pain? The whole next day I had a mild fever and nausea but thankfully no more vomiting. By Friday my stomach felt totally better, I had no more fever, but the pain in my throat was no better so I went to see a gastroenterologist. He said it's possible I did some damage to my esophagus but there's no way to know without endoscopy. We agreed to wait a few days and see if it will heal on its own and he gave me an anti-inflammatory to help with the pain. If there's no sign of improvement on Monday he says I may want to have an esophageal endoscopy which requires general anesthesia. Let's pray it won't come to that. We leave for the US on Tuesday.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
More Adoption Developments
Our home study is scheduled! Next Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (March 29-31) a social worker is coming to Cebu from Manila to do our first home study. We've booked her flights and found her a place to stay. Now all we have to do is impress her. Oh and get most, if not all of our documents completed by then. It's crunch time! :)
We also got word this week that the documents that we thought we'd file at a later date with the US citizen and immigration service (advance processing of an orphan) are being changed to a much more lengthy and complication set of forms. We were encouraged by Holt to get this form completed and submitted by the end of March so that we can use the older, simpler format. We have to file the form in person in Manila so guess where we're going on Thursday? We just booked flights to Manila and plan to spend the morning at the US Embassy.
We're excited about getting these things done before we travel to the US on April 1st for 2 1/2 weeks. So it's crunch time now but once these things are submitted, the next thing is to wait. In fact, we recently received some information about wait times for adoptions from the Philippines:
"ICAB (Intercountry Adoption Board) approval: It is currently averaging 2.5 months for ICAB to approve a Dossier." (The dossier is what we're working on now and planning to submit, completed, including the home study report by the end of April.)
"Wait for Match: Right now, time frames are currently lower than they have been previously. For the last 5 matches we have received, families waited an average of 13.5 months from Dossier Approval to Match! We hope that this continues to be the case."
"Match to Arrival: Average wait time from match to arrival home with your child is 5.5 months."
Thank you for your support and prayers! :) We're excited.
We also got word this week that the documents that we thought we'd file at a later date with the US citizen and immigration service (advance processing of an orphan) are being changed to a much more lengthy and complication set of forms. We were encouraged by Holt to get this form completed and submitted by the end of March so that we can use the older, simpler format. We have to file the form in person in Manila so guess where we're going on Thursday? We just booked flights to Manila and plan to spend the morning at the US Embassy.
We're excited about getting these things done before we travel to the US on April 1st for 2 1/2 weeks. So it's crunch time now but once these things are submitted, the next thing is to wait. In fact, we recently received some information about wait times for adoptions from the Philippines:
"ICAB (Intercountry Adoption Board) approval: It is currently averaging 2.5 months for ICAB to approve a Dossier." (The dossier is what we're working on now and planning to submit, completed, including the home study report by the end of April.)
"Wait for Match: Right now, time frames are currently lower than they have been previously. For the last 5 matches we have received, families waited an average of 13.5 months from Dossier Approval to Match! We hope that this continues to be the case."
"Match to Arrival: Average wait time from match to arrival home with your child is 5.5 months."
Thank you for your support and prayers! :) We're excited.
Things Are Not What They Seem
I was at the mall last night buying a gift for a high school graduate in our home group. I go straight to the sale pile. I find a shirt - perfect size, perfect style - looked at the tag. Orginal price 399 pesos with 2 sale stickers on two different parts of the tag that read 249 pesos. perfect - I wanted to spend less than 300 so I get in line. I wait maybe 5 or 6 minutes b/c they were very busy. I have my money ready. The shirt is rung up and I'm told "399 ma'am". "No, I'm sorry" I say, "it's on sale for 249". "No ma'am. It's not on sale. It's 399." "But these stickers on the tag clearly say that the price is 249." "No ma'am. It's 399. It's not on sale." Then a nearby co-worker repeats the exact phrase, "no ma'am. It's 399." Oh thank you for clarifying that because I didn't hear it the first or the second time.
I have learned after living in Asia for 4 years that taking a situation like this further by continuing to argue or trying to explain why it just makes no sense - 10 out of 10 times proves to be a futile waste of energy. So I smile, say thank you, and walk away - while inside I feel like yelling at someone and retreating to a quiet, relaxing place far, far away from a busy mall when I have too many things to accomplish the night before a holiday in the Philippines. Instead I went for dinner and ordered a beer.
I have learned after living in Asia for 4 years that taking a situation like this further by continuing to argue or trying to explain why it just makes no sense - 10 out of 10 times proves to be a futile waste of energy. So I smile, say thank you, and walk away - while inside I feel like yelling at someone and retreating to a quiet, relaxing place far, far away from a busy mall when I have too many things to accomplish the night before a holiday in the Philippines. Instead I went for dinner and ordered a beer.
Some Timely Adoption Progress
Since my last entry there has been some welcomed progress made in preparing the documents for our dossier. If you have prayed - thank you - because it certainly is helping. :)
On Monday, I was finally able to speak to a psychiatrist to confirm that he could provide a psych eval prior to me making an appointment. He agreed and we made appointments for Wednesday. I was so happy about this development. However, when we showed up for our appointment yesterday and the Dr. looked at the requirements needed for the evaluation, he said he thought it best for us to see psychologist at a nearby university instead. Disappointed, we said thank you and then went straight to the university to try and get an appointment. The psychological department was closed for the Holy Week holidays. Most places are closed Thursday and Friday this week but we learned that many close beginning on Wednesday - so no progress there. I will have to wait until Monday to try and get us appointments. We need this completed by the end of next week.
Some really good news is that Andrey had a successful visit with a physician on Tuesday that resulted in a completed medical letter. Yeah!
My physician, who I had a check up with 1 month ago, finally (after several emails, calls & texts) completed my medical letter. I was told I could pick it up yesterday but when i arrived at the clinic her receptionist was not there to open the locked drawer that contained my letter. That will have to wait until next week also.
Another document needed by next week is a police clearance letter (like a background check). In order to get that we first have to get a proof of residence from our local neighborhood community hall. I went there yesterday to get that but was turned away because the 1 person who does that sort of thing just delivered a baby and apparently they have no one to fill her position. I was told that she'll be back on Tuesday from 2-3pm. We'll see how the second attempt goes.
Keep praying!
On Monday, I was finally able to speak to a psychiatrist to confirm that he could provide a psych eval prior to me making an appointment. He agreed and we made appointments for Wednesday. I was so happy about this development. However, when we showed up for our appointment yesterday and the Dr. looked at the requirements needed for the evaluation, he said he thought it best for us to see psychologist at a nearby university instead. Disappointed, we said thank you and then went straight to the university to try and get an appointment. The psychological department was closed for the Holy Week holidays. Most places are closed Thursday and Friday this week but we learned that many close beginning on Wednesday - so no progress there. I will have to wait until Monday to try and get us appointments. We need this completed by the end of next week.
Some really good news is that Andrey had a successful visit with a physician on Tuesday that resulted in a completed medical letter. Yeah!
My physician, who I had a check up with 1 month ago, finally (after several emails, calls & texts) completed my medical letter. I was told I could pick it up yesterday but when i arrived at the clinic her receptionist was not there to open the locked drawer that contained my letter. That will have to wait until next week also.
Another document needed by next week is a police clearance letter (like a background check). In order to get that we first have to get a proof of residence from our local neighborhood community hall. I went there yesterday to get that but was turned away because the 1 person who does that sort of thing just delivered a baby and apparently they have no one to fill her position. I was told that she'll be back on Tuesday from 2-3pm. We'll see how the second attempt goes.
Keep praying!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Frustrated
I'm so frustrated today I was actually brought to tears. For nearly a month now I have been attempting to line up psychological evaluations for each of us as they are needed for our adoption dossier that we intend to complete by the end of March. I won't go into all the details but let me just say that I have made numerous phone calls, sent numerous texts, searched numerous websites and I still do not have a psychologist identified who can help us. I've even been in contact with two providers (which makes it worse b/c then I actually think I'm getting somewhere) but with no success. For some of the others all I want to do is speak to them for 2 minutes (necessary since the receptionist has no idea) prior to making an appointment so I can find out if they can actually provide what we need. This has been like pulling teeth!
The way it's worked so far here is that I call the landline number of the office, I'm given a cell phone number of the secretary whom I am supposed to text then she/he responds via text and asks repetative questions that don't address my original questions then I'm told to come into the office to speak to the doctor but I can't make an appointment to do this - no, no one keeps appointments here - I just have to show up on the day the doctor is supposed to be working and wait behind everyone else that don't have appointments. Seriously, SO many things work like this here in the Philippines. It's like people have ALL day to accomplish the simplest tasks! This of course is my Western mindset at work. We have busy schedules. We make appointments. We are expected to be on time and we expect our service providers to also. Now of course i realize that waiting for doctors is also part of the deal in the west so i'm not trying to paint an unrealistically rosy picture here. But come on!! At least back home you can usually get the information you need from the receptionist prior to making the appointment so you at least know you're not going to waste your time waiting for nothing.
So today I decided to give up on my two hopeful contacts (I've been waiting for them to get back to me) and just search online for any psychologist I can find at any of the hospitals i know of in Cebu. The one website that i found to one hospital that actually gave me a list of providers looked promising so i wrote 3 of the 5 names and phone numbers down (the other 2 i had already tried). So I dialed Doctor # 1: I was told by the receptionist to call back at 12:30 and she promptly hung up. Doctor #2: the number is currently not in service. Doctor #3: Same message: this number also is not in service.
This was when i had a slight break down and cried to release my frustration.
And this is just the psychological evals! I'm experiencing a very similar experience with my medical letter and our police clearance letter.
Help me!! Doesn't anyone understand deadlines!!??
Wow. i guess i'd better be careful not to let the psychologist i do find read this post - he/she might think i've lost it. Personally I think it has a bit to do with the less than 3 hours of sleep i got last night at the clinic. ah well, i feel like it's okay to vent on my own blog and i'm glad i could do that today since Andrey's not here for me to whine to...
The way it's worked so far here is that I call the landline number of the office, I'm given a cell phone number of the secretary whom I am supposed to text then she/he responds via text and asks repetative questions that don't address my original questions then I'm told to come into the office to speak to the doctor but I can't make an appointment to do this - no, no one keeps appointments here - I just have to show up on the day the doctor is supposed to be working and wait behind everyone else that don't have appointments. Seriously, SO many things work like this here in the Philippines. It's like people have ALL day to accomplish the simplest tasks! This of course is my Western mindset at work. We have busy schedules. We make appointments. We are expected to be on time and we expect our service providers to also. Now of course i realize that waiting for doctors is also part of the deal in the west so i'm not trying to paint an unrealistically rosy picture here. But come on!! At least back home you can usually get the information you need from the receptionist prior to making the appointment so you at least know you're not going to waste your time waiting for nothing.
So today I decided to give up on my two hopeful contacts (I've been waiting for them to get back to me) and just search online for any psychologist I can find at any of the hospitals i know of in Cebu. The one website that i found to one hospital that actually gave me a list of providers looked promising so i wrote 3 of the 5 names and phone numbers down (the other 2 i had already tried). So I dialed Doctor # 1: I was told by the receptionist to call back at 12:30 and she promptly hung up. Doctor #2: the number is currently not in service. Doctor #3: Same message: this number also is not in service.
This was when i had a slight break down and cried to release my frustration.
And this is just the psychological evals! I'm experiencing a very similar experience with my medical letter and our police clearance letter.
Help me!! Doesn't anyone understand deadlines!!??
Wow. i guess i'd better be careful not to let the psychologist i do find read this post - he/she might think i've lost it. Personally I think it has a bit to do with the less than 3 hours of sleep i got last night at the clinic. ah well, i feel like it's okay to vent on my own blog and i'm glad i could do that today since Andrey's not here for me to whine to...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
123 Meme
I just got tagged by Colleen - you grab the nearest book, turn to page 123, and write the 5th, 6th, and 7th sentence. If I was gonna cheat i would have found a more interesting book but since the only books within reach are my two midwifery texts, here it goes...
The book is Myles Textbook for Midwives and happens to be the intro section on the chapter on the female urinary tract:
"When she is pregnant the enlarging uterus affects all the parts of the urinary tract at various times and the hormones of pregnancy have an even greater influence than the mechanical effects. The normal, healthy woman may perceive these changes as a minor nuisance created by frequency of micturation and her kidneys continue to function well. A few may experience complications and those who already have diseased kidneys may undergo deterioration in their condition: some women suffer impairment of the function of the part of the urinary tract as a direct result of pregnancy."
Ok, well I hope you all learned something from that. Although not as interesting as say, a novel - it is quite fitting for my life right now which is filled with midwifery-related information and experiences.
I tag Dana, Louise, Kim, Mel, & Mom Sawchenko
The book is Myles Textbook for Midwives and happens to be the intro section on the chapter on the female urinary tract:
"When she is pregnant the enlarging uterus affects all the parts of the urinary tract at various times and the hormones of pregnancy have an even greater influence than the mechanical effects. The normal, healthy woman may perceive these changes as a minor nuisance created by frequency of micturation and her kidneys continue to function well. A few may experience complications and those who already have diseased kidneys may undergo deterioration in their condition: some women suffer impairment of the function of the part of the urinary tract as a direct result of pregnancy."
Ok, well I hope you all learned something from that. Although not as interesting as say, a novel - it is quite fitting for my life right now which is filled with midwifery-related information and experiences.
I tag Dana, Louise, Kim, Mel, & Mom Sawchenko
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Lately... (Part 1)
There's been s0 much g0ing 0n i haven't had time t0 bl0g. S0 many great things have been happening I have much t0 share but it's difficult t0 get it all d0wn in 1 bl0g entry and t0 make it s0und g00d s0 I'll just give s0me snipits... (by the way, i'm using zer0s f0r 0's because my p00r 0ld c0mputer is in its last days).
- A c0uple 0f friends 0f Hilary's came fr0m the US t0 h0ld a retreat-like c0nference f0r all the staff at the clinic. It was a refreshing and enc0uraging time f0r all 0f us as we t00k time t0 w0rship and pray t0gether and minister t0 0ne an0ther. It felt s0 g00d t0 be used by G0d in prayer. I have l0nged t0 d0 m0re prayer ministry f0r years and it seems i'm getting l0ts 0f 0pp0rtunities lately. I am gr0wing in the gift 0f pr0fecy and that's exciting. Since the retreat I've felt m0re b0ld in praying f0r 0thers, especially the w0men we w0rk with in the clinic.
- At the retreat 0ne 0f the newer staff members accepted Jesus (0n her birthday). She's a new midwife, right 0ut 0f sch00l and it is a beautiful thing watching her experience G0d's l0ve and then giving it away immediately by being b0ld in sharing with/prayer f0r the w0men we w0rk with. She went h0me and t0ld her m0ther ab0ut her c0nversi0n t0 pr0testant christianity. Her m0ther demanded that she quit her j0b at the clinic but she t0ld her m0m that she really liked being a christian and that she thinks it's better because she can n0w read the bible and that she's beginning t0 understand it. Her m0ther t0ld her that the bible is 0nly f0r the priest. The day after she accepted Jesus, she g0t the news that she didn't pass her nursing b0ard exams but she t0ld us that she didn't feel sad ab0ut it because n0w she has Jesus and she kn0ws he has a plan f0r her. Praise G0d!
Well that's all i have time f0r because I'm supp0sed t0 be getting ready f0r church s0 I'll c0ntinue this p0st later...
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