Thinking about Potty Training and I Don't Have a Clue

Now that we have Ella sleeping in her crib at night, I am beginning to think about the next big hurdle - potty training. I am only thinking of it because Ella has started showing some signs of maybe, possibly, being ready, or at least moving in that direction. If she happens to be without a diaper (like before/after a shower, letting her bum dry between diaper changes) and she happens to feel the urge and we happen to be together near the toilet at home, she will say, "iyi" (ihi or pee in Cebuano). When I put her on the pot, 9 out of 10 times she goes. I praise her and she gets a very pleased look on her face.

Based on this, I decided to stop diapers at home just to see what would happen. I learned she won't tell me if I happen to be in the other room and she won't say yes if I ask her if she needs to go - even when it soon becomes apparent that she actually does need to go by the puddle that results as soon as I turn or walk away. After two days of cleaning up a LOT of pee, and given the fact that I was beginning to get frustrated and upset with her and it started to feel like a power struggle (I know enough to know that getting upset with a child about such accidents or trying to coerce them into using the potty is very counterproductive and potentially damaging) so I decided to wait for a while longer before we try again. I just purchased a toddler toilet seat attachment and my mom will bring it with her when she comes next week. I've decided to wait at least until then.

Since then, she has stopped telling me when she needs to pee when she doesn't have a diaper (this happens way less often than before) and has started to want to climb on the toilet herself just to pretend to go pee (she makes a sound with her mouth) and use the tissue to wipe but doesn't pee. If I try to assist her up or down, like I have done for months, she gets angry and yells "No!"

So I'm fine to leave this alone while I compile some information and advice. I don't have time to read and research all the available methods/approaches out there so I'm just going to put this up and ask for help from those who have been there done that. I know every child is different but I would really value hearing from some other mommies out there.

So, if you have a few minutes, please enlighten me by sharing a bit of your experience.

How do you know when they are "ready"?

When they seem "ready," how do you go about it? What has worked for you?

Many thanks.

Clueless Mommy

All About Ella

I've been compiling notes for the past few weeks about Ella's development so that when I sit down to blog I can actually remember a few things. It is amazing how far she's come in just three and a half months.

The biggest progress as of late is that Ella is now sleeping in her crib in her room at night. Yay! It's been over two weeks of success in this area so I think it's safe to say this is the new normal. I am getting up several times each night with her (whereas when in our bed she slept the whole night) but usually for only a few minutes each time.

She has surprised and amazed us with her obvious level of security to sleep in her own room at night. When she wakes up, she's not distressed. She just usually is either hot or cold or is wet or wants some water, or often just a little reassurance that I am there and will come when she calls and will hold her hand till she falls back asleep. Most of the time all I have to do is pick her up and hold her for about a minute and then put her back down.

The other exciting thing is that over the past month she has really begun to bond with her Daddy. She now regularly reaches for him, sometimes even prefers him. She loves to be held by him at certain times and clearly relaxes and rests her head on his shoulder when he picks her up. She gets excited when he comes home from work. She even went out with him to the grocery store a few times while I stayed at home. On the other hand, she has started to outright reject him suddenly when we least expect it. She has lashed out at him at home and in public and has even kicked him and screamed "No!" when he'd try to pick her up. I take this as a positive sign and further indication that she really is becoming more attached to Andrey. She did this with me in the very beginning as well. I think it's her way of testing him to see if his love for her is real and lasting.

Ella is beginning to catch up in her language development. In the past month, she has exploded with new words. She has become quite vocal and talkative at home.

• She is very observant of everything around her. She identifies things she sees throughout the day. She often says, "See?" and "Mom! Look!" She regularly repeats words I say and seems to be practicing new words all the time.  

• She can say many body parts and can point to/recognize even more

• Latest phrases/expressions - What's that? (dat?), Please (meee), Excuse me (Q-me), Thank you (thdoo), Let's go!(Go!), Uh oh!, C'mon! 

• I will list all the words I can think of that she can say just so I can record and count how big her vocab is getting. I will list the words she is saying but know they don't sound like that yet. She usually says only one or two syllables of the word. I love it that I can understand her most of the time and can translate for others as needed. It makes me feel happy that I know my daughter like I do. I think she can say more than 100 words and understands many more! Go Ella!

• Cloud, sky, bump, backpack, book, mango, vitamin, up, down, wee!, yippee!, wow!, ihi, poo-poo, walk, ride, ligo, diaper, kitty cat, dog, cow, Mom, Daddy, Fia, Mimi, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, Annika, Mike, home, noodles, cookie, snack, dingdong (it's a snack mix here), No!, okay, night-night, toes, knee, hands, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, Hi, Bye, tissue, wet, dry, bum, ball, run, shoes, shirt, mango, apple, egg, rice, bread, fish, baby, swimming, pool, init, hot, tubig, juice, yogurt, star, higda, outside, tita, inday, hinay, gamai, chocolate, light, bee, butterfly, naa pa, wala, guba, pillow, write, two, three, bubbles, agay, boat, meow, again, work, balloon, book, bowl, swing, slide, bowl, banana, bread, cereal, bite

• Comprehension - understands and responds to commands such as "put it in the garbage please" or "put daddy's keys back on the table" or sit down, stand up, brush teeth, give me my phone...

Other fun/cute/funny things about Ella

•  Ella has a very matter of fact "Hi" and "Bye". Sometimes when we have to leave or finish an activity she'll just say, Bye and be fine to move on to the next thing. She also says bye to the food she just put in her mouth and says bye to the pee in the toilet when we flush. She often says See!? and look at something (like my cup of coffee). I'll say, that's mommy's coffee and she'll say "hi!"

• She loves to look at and hug photos of her with her Mommy and Daddy

• She daily gives me many spontaneous hugs and kisses, which always turns me into mush.

• She loves to give us zerberts and then laughs hard at herself and the sounds she produces. Both of us get zerberts to our necks when we are holding her and I get special zerberts to my upper thigh in the shower. I guess my thigh is at the level of her mouth and I must admit, does produce a rather nice and loud sound given the amount of blubber in that area. Reminds me of when I was a kid and my brother would call me Thunder Thighs and Lard Ass. How sweet.

• When Ella needs a little quiet time for her daily "big job" in her diaper and one of us happens to come near she will say, "No!" and "Bye!" and point in the opposite direction indicating where we should go. It's hard not to laugh at her because of the extremely serious look on her face. 

• Ella always kisses my owies. Whether they are induced by her on accident during play or otherwise, she will look at me with a concerned, compassionate look on her face and then kiss my boo-boo. So sweet. She is very sensitive. 

• When eating a meal together, Ella loves to clink her sippy cup to our glasses in the gesture of a toast. She will sometimes do it over and over and over again but we always oblige. It reminds me of when Andrey's parents were here. Ella kept on toasting Grandpa who was sitting across the table from her and had to get up from his seat every time she'd want to toast him. He was very gracious to satisfy her request numerous times each meal. She will also sometimes toast whatever food we're eating together. She'll lift her cracker to me, for example, and look at me with her eyebrows and chin raised and expect me to join my cracker with hers. Food is such a wonderful way to connect. 

• She loves to gargle. Mostly she does this with water just to get a laugh but a few weeks ago she had a mouth full of egg, tilted her head back and attempted to gargle. As egg sprang forth from her mouth, she laughed and laughed, while making eye contact with both Andrey and me to make sure we were watching. She's such a ham! At bed time when she wants a sip of water I have to watch her to make sure she'll swallow because she loves to hold the water in her mouth, look at me slyly and threaten to spit it out. Cheeky monkey.

I-600 Approval

We just found out today that our Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative was approved. That's one very important step toward getting Ella a visa to the US so we can finalize her adoption there. Yay!

We actually filed the paper work at the US Embassy in Manila in October and were told we should have an approval and visa medical appointment set up before the end of the year. We never heard anything so we followed up in December. USCIS just got back to us and said the approval was actually issued on November 12th. We're hoping this won't set back our plans to finalize Ella's adoption in April-May this year. We are required to have three, post-placement home studies within six months before we can travel to the US to finalize. Our first post-placement study was done in November. We were hoping to get the second one done in January when we travel to Manila for our visa medical appointment. The third is tentatively planned for mid-March so we can have a report done by the end of the month and we can travel to the US by April 1st.

We plan to be based in Alabama where my parents live for as long as it takes to finalize. We were told 2-3 months but we're hoping for closer to 2 since it will be difficult for Andrey to be away from the office in Cebu for that long. 

So there's the latest on the paperwork end of things. And just for fun, here are a few recent photos of Andrey and Ella singing into mock microphones. It's a jump rope that Ella regularly picks up and sings into (and sucks on the end a bit). Just imagine loud but muffled sounds coming out of her mouth, something like "Lay Laaahh Looooooohh". She's so cute!

Ella's Dedication

On December 19, 2010 we presented Ella to Jesus in front of our spiritual family in Cebu and with Andrey's parents who were visiting at the time. Many of you know how special to us our church community is here. For the past few years whenever there was a family publicly presenting their child to the Lord there was a deep ache in me to be able to do the same with our child among this community, this family we have grown to love. Each time, I would cry out to God for this opportunity - to have our child soon and to still be living in Cebu long enough to hold this special ceremony in this place. What a joy to see this day come to pass!

Andrey explained that Michella's name means "gift from God" and how we wanted to acknowledge in the presence of a part of our spiritual and natural families that we receive God's great gift to us but we don't have claim on her. We want to affirm that Michella is God's and we want to commit to being the kind of parents that would encourage her to choose to live her life according to that truth.

As her mother and in the authority of Jesus, I cut her off from the evil intentions of the enemy and blessed her life and future generations with all the good things God has planned for her.

Andrey's parents prayed for us then several close friends shared words from Jesus for Ella. I got a bit emotional at this point, especially when a friend spoke about God redeeming and returning to Michella all that she lost and then some. Such good stuff! Interestingly, a few friends saw pictures involving Ella and stars. I had to share right then and there that Twinkle Twinkle is Ella's favorite song and she sings it numerous times a day.

 

She is our bright little star! We are overjoyed with this treasure and look forward to seeing who she becomes!