What I've Learned in the Past Five Months

The organization my husband works for has been so kind to us.  Since we have been overseas for ten years, and since Andrey has had quite a challenging work load the past couple of years (sometimes doing the jobs of three or more people), and because the people who lead the organization care about us and our spiritual, emotional and physical health, they have given us the amazing gift of five months off before our move to India.  Seriously, who does that? 

What a gift!  We felt like we hit the jackpot.  We wanted to steward the time well.  We bought a tent trailer and a truck and drove all around North America visiting friends and family and taking time to be together just the three of us.  It was great mix of social and "just us" time.  Andrey and I took turns spending time alone in silence and solitude with the intention of slowing down and drawing near to God, realizing that true rest comes only from him.  We arranged for regular calls with spiritual directors to help guide us along the way.  Earlier this month I took some time to reflect on what I've learned during these month off.  

I learned a few things about silence and solitude.  I first had to stop trying to do it "right."  I learned that being alone with God is 1) the discipline of practicing attentiveness to God's presence and 2) an act of faith.  It is the act of removing myself from the equation as a way to demonstrate my complete and utter dependence on God to do for me what I can not do for myself.  It was not easy at first to stop the inner dialogue and I quickly grew frustrated with myself.  But over time and practice, and with the help of a few repeating centering phrases (I found "To you O Lord I lift up my soul, my hope is in you all day long" helpful), I began to settle into those times and rest in knowing that I am known by the maker of the universe and I belong to him.  Such peace and contentment comes when we stop striving and just be.

I’ve learned (am learning) how to be needy.  Good needy.  The right kind of needy.  Aware of my constant and desperate need for God, His presence and grace, and my need for Andrey – my need to be open and share with him what is going on inside my heart and mind.  I’m learning how to not be so damn self-reliant – which only results in me feeling alone and isolated, “me against the world.”  

What a gift these months have been to practice this with Andrey – while he is the most available he’s ever been, or at least for a long time.  Slowing down and having this time off together has helped us to see things I don't think we would have seen in the usual busy pace of life.  A huge and unexpected blessing of this time off was realizing how in the busyness of life over the past few years, we had grown very used to living individual, parallel lives together.  We realize that we both tend to downplay our needs and used busyness as a distraction from truly caring for each other.  I am learning to express my needs instead of withdrawing into myself when I feel alone or unsupported.  We have had many healthy discussions over the past few months and I think we have set up some new ways to tune into each other better, to stay available to one another and responsive to each others' needs.  Independence in marriage had served us well in some ways for many years but we both agree it's not working for us anymore and is dangerous if we continue like that.  I am so grateful to learn a new way. 

Another thing I’ve learned is that my devotion to God is not dependent on me getting what I want.  I am learning to rest and wait on him, his way and his plan, and stop trying to get God to do what I want.  I’ve laid down the idea that I was/am missing something and if maybe I did ____, then _____ would happen.  My worship and honoring of God – how is it affected in times when I’m not getting what I desire the most?  I've had a lot of time to think about this lately and in my times alone I’ve decided that I want to walk with Jesus despite dreams seemingly unfulfilled and in the waiting.  Relationship with Jesus is my real treasure.  Relationship is here and now and I want to be faithful to him regardless.  He promises to fill my desires with good things.  This is not a guarantee that I will get what I desire most nor that I will be spared something painful.  It seems that fulfillment of hopes and dreams doesn't usually come how and when we expect it and that the only thing I can count on is the unchanging character of God and that he will never leave me.  I know him well enough to trust him - to rest in his goodness, power, wisdom and love for me.

Because of this, I am much less anxious about how our desire for another child is going to work out. Earlier last year I found myself beginning to panic a little. But now I can say there is more yielding, surrendering, more awe of God, reverence, fear, humility, wonder. 

Lord forgive me for the ways I’ve come to you, entitled, demanding what I want, in my way. 

Again I wait in hope.  I am anchored in God as I wait.  I don’t have to rush ahead.  I can rest, pray, wait for his lead, trusting that when it’s time, I will know what I need to know so that I can move forward.  I have learned that our spiritual journey of transformation is not so much about how God uses us and what God will do, but what he is doing in us during the process. 

It's a New Day

It's a new day, my friends.  A new year, a new move (to India soon!), and new dreams for the future.  Our lives have changed in some huge ways since I last blogged.  In March we were surprised by my husband's employer with an invitation to take a position in India.  We had thought we would stay in the Philippines for another 1-2 years and we had embraced our life and community there in a special way.  I loved living there and it was truly home.  It took us some time to warm up to the idea but after some time to think, discuss and pray, it became clear to both of us that this move was the right way to go.  It was the right time to leave Cebu - a place that had grown so much a part of our lives and hearts that I knew it would be very difficult to extract our roots and relocate.  I even considered myself to be part Cebuano and felt proud to identify as such.  I had many Cebuano and foreign friends and I loved connecting with locals in their language.  I felt comfortable anywhere on the island.  I made some lifetime friendships - amazing, inspiring women who are like sisters to me.  So after seven years in Cebu, in July we said goodbye to our most wonderful community of friends and colleagues and to a place that I could say with confidence and ownership was "my city."

Sure it wasn't all wonderful all the time but when you move around like we do and know it takes a few years to make a life and feel a part of community in a new place, we knew we were privileged to stay for so long.  And when you know you will be leaving eventually, you appreciate it more.  I aim to live with that attitude no matter where I live and for how long.  It served me well in Cebu - counting what I'd miss once we left, being thankful and holding it all loosely, cherishing it while I still had possession of it.  And I had so much to be thankful for, to enjoy.  Life was really good. Andrey was busier than he had ever been and that had become a new normal for us, but we were good at making the best of it all.

That's why at first I rejected the idea of leaving.  I wasn't ready.  It didn't fit the timeline I had expected.  But once I finally sat down to pray about it, it became clear.  I knew right away that what I wanted deep in my spirit was to bear fruit - for my life to produce good things, in me and in my family and in the place where I live.  I found this in Jeremiah, chapter 17:

Blessed is the (wo)man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. (S)he is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

I felt that to bear fruit, we often have to be stretched and challenged.  Also that morning, I felt the Good Shepherd remind me that he was with me wherever I go, and that he leads me along right paths, and goodness & mercy with follow me... (Psalm 23)

I cried because right away I knew what this meant.  I realized that deep in my soul, what I want is to walk with Jesus.  I want to go where he leads and I want to bear fruit - to be challenged and to grow.  I knew that leaving Cebu would be hard but the only reasons I could think to stay were all about me and my personal enjoyment and comfort.  Then I was reminded of these verses:

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. (Luke 9:24)

 Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19)

So this is how I knew that for me, to not hold too tightly to my life as it was, was to be willing to let go of our life in Cebu and say yes to the invitation to go to India.

Andrey had his own process - mostly relating to the ownership he felt of the projects he's worked so hard on for seven years in the Philippines and he eventually came to a similar conclusion - to let it go and say yes to a new adventure in India.

Our last weeks were filled with these moments and many more ...

Ella treasured her last days with Gerald

We said goodbye to our wonderful househelper and friend and her family who we got to know well over the years

We gathered with friends for send-offs

Ella and Tessi had their last play dates and sleep overs

We went to our favorite beach spot one last time...

I got a tattoo on my foot inspired by this hibiscus flower from my garden

More quality time with "Big G"

We hosted friends for special meals

Andrey's office gave him a heartfelt going away party

Our church community threw us a big party

They prayed for us and blessed us

and we were sent off well from the airport

The difficulty in leaving only spoke to the deep attachments we made, for which I am better for and so, so grateful.  Even though it was painful, I don't regret any of it.  I had posted this on facebook the week we left Cebu.  I love this quote:

“Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.”

- Henri J.M. Nouwen

Goodbye Cebu!  Here I am in January, after five months of time off before moving to India and only now am I beginning to feel like I can start letting you go a bit.  I have been processing and letting myself celebrate and grieve what I have left behind.  Not that you are any less close to my heart but I feel the need to begin making space for what will come to us in India.  I am confident we will meet again.  With all my heart, jen

Waiting...

God will answer me. I really believe it. I know I am putting myself at risk of looking like a fool but I just can't deny the encouragement (and the dreams and prophetic words and pictures) of so many dear friends and family over the years who when they pray for me about a child just feel strongly like it is going to happen in time. And for me, anytime I am tempted to give up hope there is something strong in my spirit that says, No! Do not give up. Keep asking, hoping, praying, seeking, knocking, waiting.

So I will wait. With open hands and a faithful heart.

My God can do anything and I trust him. He is good and kind.

Andrey and I were prayed for recently and I just feel like something is happening.

I heard a word just yesterday that said, The promises I have given you, I will fulfill. And it won't be long now. Soon. I took that word as my own.

I feel like a complete idiot but I'll put it out there anyway.

I know my God will answer me. I wait with open hands for my babies. He already knows them. It's only a matter of time. 

I Believe You

I need this Lord. I need you to do this for me.
I pour out my heart before you and you hold me.
I rest my head on your chest and you hold me close.
You say, Don't worry my child,
and I believe you.

I believe you want to fill my desires for children
a pregnancy/birth, another adoption.
I believe you when you say,
Where there is no way,
There is a way.

I believe you when you say
you will fill our desires with good things.
I believe you when you say
what father would give a rock
to their child who asks for bread?

I heard you say,
I have plans for you.
Nothing is impossible. 

And I say, let it be Lord!
For your glory!

I love this place with you Papa,
where I can be honest and you tenderly care for me.
I won't give up hoping and believing for this.

I wait and hope for you,
I expect and anticipate you to move,
because you are good
and I believe you.

You have been faithful,
Just look at Michella.

I can't rest until I have more babies
I can't leave this, until it is granted.
Don't deny me this Lord!
I'm not sure I can accept anything else!

You made me this way,
designed my body to give birth,
put a desire, deep and primal, in me to bear a child.
That was your idea.

I feel desperation rising in me
Like Hannah who wept bitterly and cried,
"Remember me, Lord!"

She asked of you and you acted
You came through for her.
Come through for me Lord. 

Like the persistent widow who would not give up,
I will stay here, knocking and waiting
Pressing in...



He gives the barren woman a home
making her the joyous mother of children.
Psalm 113:9


Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead - since he was about a hundred years old - and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.
Romans 4:18-21

Poem of Jen #1

There is this desire

a desire for you

at the center of my being

and it often gets buried

and sometimes I'm not aware...
 
I forget, lose touch

with who I am at my core

where desire for you dwells

Spirit help me stay with the knowledge

of who I am

and how much I need you

Sometimes she acts like a teenager...

but I really love these five-year-old moments.

My girl and Jesus

My daughter is the cutest thing these days I just want to freeze her in this stage. Age 5 is pretty awesome I have to say. I love her questions and curiosity about the world around her and I love that she discusses much of it verbally with me. She is still very interested in birth and still asks to watch a birth video just about every day. She is becoming quite knowledgeable! She is very affectionate and lovey and regularly tells me she loves me. How did I get such a wonderful girl like this? She is just amazing.

We've been reading the Jesus Storybook Bible a lot lately and she's been asking lots of questions about Jesus. We pray every night together and she always asks for a baby brother or sister and a baby for her Mommy who really wants one. She also prays for my friend who is set to give birth any day. Recently she prayed, "Jesus help T and her birth and help her not to have any tear in her private parts." See, I told you she is quite knowledgeable! And thoughtful! What a great thing to pray!

We regularly discuss how Jesus is always with us and he hears us when we pray and loves to speak to us if we listen. Yesterday we got in the car for a bit of a long drive to do a prenatal check up (I must post about that soon as there are some exciting things happening for me with midwifery again). I asked her if she wanted to listen to music or watch a movie or play a game on my ipad during the drive. She said, "No, I just want to hear what God has to say." I wasn't sure what she meant at first so I asked her to clarify and she repeated herself. So I said, "You mean you want to ask Jesus to speak to you and listen to what he wants to say?" and she gave a sincere yes. So we did and right away she said, "I heard him." I asked what he said and she replied with "he said I love you."

It's so wonderful to see her not just learning about Jesus but experiencing him and his love. I am a happy momma.

Visit to Our Daughter's Birth Place

Earlier this week Andrey, Ella and I went to the city where Ella was born to file papers for her new birth certificate. This was the main purpose of our trip but we also wanted to get photos of the city for Ella's life book and leave a letter and some photos with the social welfare office for her birth parents. Ella did great! She was so comfortable with it all and I think it's because we talk about things and certain people from her background so often that if feels very natural for her. She was excited about the trip and once we arrived she proudly exclaimed, "I was born here!" Overall we feel very satisfied with how the trip went.

Our first and most important stop was to the civil registry office. Our contact there was so friendly and welcoming and very helpful. She kept saying that Ella looked familiar to her. Well as it turns out, this woman is a relative of Ella's foster mother and remembers Ella as a baby.

Our next stop was to the City Health office birthing clinic. We did not anticipate going there but when we saw how close it was to City Hall I remembered that this place was listed on Ella's birth certificate as her actual place of birth. Ella thought it was super cool to see the place where she was born.  Why not stop in? Heck, why not check and see if the midwife who attended her birth still works there? As it turns out she does and we got to meet her! They were so kind to show us some records and even gave us the result of her newborn screening we never knew she had. No problems there, as expected. :-)

Women in blue (left to right) are the midwife and doctor who attended/supervised Ella's birth.

Then we took the afternoon to visit one of the top tourist attractions in Roxas City.  Baybay Beach is just 3km from the city center, is 7km long and quite beautiful.  Ella loved playing in the dark grey sand and running along the beach. We stayed till dusk and ended up having a couple of beers and a snack at a tiny beachfront resort.  We also learned that the neighborhood where Ella's birth family lives is just next to this beach.  As I watched local families and fishermen (Ella's birth father is a fisherman) I was able to imagine what their life might be like.  Ella didn't seem so interested so I kept my imaginations to myself.  She was clearly very excited for a chance to play on the beach. :-)

The next day Andrey and Ella went on a morning walk and got a few shots of the city center. Our hotel was a perfect location for this. It was raining so a few of these shots are a bit blurry in spots.

Our last stop in Roxas before heading back to Iloilo where we flew in and where Ella was living when we met her in 2010, was the Department of Social Welfare office to meet the woman who handled Ella's various placements and transitions in care. She too remembered Ella as a baby and  told us that Ella had stayed in her home for a week before she was brought to the children's home where we eventually met her. Apparently there were requirements missing that delayed that particular transition and so the social worker temporarily housed her while she got the necessary paperwork together. She was delighted to see us.

We left a letter and some photos with her to be given to the birth family and we asked her not to disclose our last name or where we live to them. We explained how we just want to make contact indirectly for now and asked if their office would help mediate our communication and gather some information to fill in some of the holes we have about Ella's original family situation. She agreed. She offered for me to see Ella's case file but we didn't have much time as she had a meeting and we had to get on the road. I do hope we'll be able to gather some details with her help so that we have it available at the appropriate time.

Here we are in a tricycle, the main form of transportation in Roxas on our way to the van terminal to get a ride back to Iloilo and feeling so satisfied with what we accomplished and the connections we made.

Before we flew out in the afternoon we paid a visit to the children's home where we met Ella almost three years ago.  When we arrived, I was amazed when Ella reached for and hugged the three women she was closest to during her time there. She knew exactly who they were. Now anyone who knows her or has spent any time with her knows that she is not a people-pleaser and will not say hi or smile and especially will not give hugs to anyone if she doesn't want to.  So her greeting them in this way was above and beyond what I expected.

The staff at the home said it was the first time one of their kids who were adopted abroad had come back for a visit so it was very special for all of us. Of course, it's easier for us since we haven't actually gone "abroad" since becoming Ella's parents. They were so pleased to see Ella in person and made comments at how beautiful and talkative she is. 

I was so impressed with her.  With each person we met that played some sort of role in her history - especially those in our photos that we've talked about, she greeted, smiled and even hugged, either spontaneously or when asked (like the social worker at the end of our visit). It was very sweet to see. All in all we kept visits short as we didn't want to put too much attention on Ella and make her feel uncomfortable and that seemed to help keep her at ease as well.

Ella may not remember much about this visit when she is older but we have the photos to document it so she can see and know a little bit about where she came from.  Plus, we get to have her birth certificate with our names on it and she can keep her Filipino citizenship.  So special!

It's her story, she should know it

For some time I have been thinking about how to navigate information about our daughter's birth and foster families. How can I prepare her to process her adoption and her own history? How can I prepare her for all the questions she will soon get from classmates and strangers about why she doesn't look like her white parents in this at times invasively-inquisitive culture? It has felt unnatural to avoid the topic and wait till she is much older so, so far I have just gone about this in the same way I approach most things in my life - with my gut. And my gut has been telling me to be open to building some sort of a connection with the information and maybe even the people in my daughter's history that she is inextricably linked to and will forever be.  I am thankful we know as much as we do about Ella's background and see value in facilitating connection between her and her story in a way that benefits the development and understanding of her identity and at the same time preserves the privacy and autonomy of our nuclear family. I have a feeling that is a tricky balance to strike and so we are going with it one small step at a time and feeling things out as we go.

What we have decided for now is to write a letter to Ella's birth parents telling them how Ella is doing (without disclosing our last names or the city where we live), including photos and asking them if they would be willing to write us back with some information about their family, specifically some information about their children - Ella's biological siblings - their names, ages and photos if possible. I will also ask them if they would like us to send letters with photos every year to keep them up on how Ella is doing as she grows up. Any communication we have will go through a social worker from the social welfare office in their area who will serve as an intermediary. They don't know this yet haha, but that is what I'm hoping for.

As for Ella's foster mother, I have been in phone/email contact with her over the past 2+ years and have gotten to know her enough to now feel quite ready to meet her. She has sent just a few photos of Ella - a few of her as a newborn and a few of when she was around 1 year old, but I don't have any photos of the foster mother and I have tons of questions for her about Ella as a baby/toddler. These days Ella has been asking me to tell her about when she was a baby and I'm sad I don't know much. So I tell her the little that I know and I tell her about her time with Momma "R". I've been impressed with this woman's respectful distance she's given us and how aside from the very occasional email to say, "Hey how's Ella? Tell her Hi from us!" she leaves the communication up to me. I was the one to track her down soon after we got Ella and called her to meet her over the phone. Up until recently I haven't felt like it was the right time to meet her but do plan to set something up (after making some clear boundary clarifications) next time we're in Manila (she's since moved there with her foster son, Ella's former foster brother). I am approaching this relationship like I would an extended family member and see potential value in Ella, at this stage, knowing about and meeting her once or twice, and later in her life choosing to keep in touch as she is willing/comfortable. I have read that allowing a child to meet or have some kind of contact with someone as opposed to just hearing about them, helps bring that person from an abstract idea to something concrete and this helps them to better process the information.

So next week we will be in the city where Ella was born to file some paperwork to amend her birth certificate in order to obtain her Filipino citizenship under her adopted name. Aside from eliminating the need for a visa to live in here indefinitely with us as American citizens, having dual citizenship will give us the opportunity to better facilitate a connection with her birth country in the future if she becomes interested in living or studying here, owning property, etc... They require us to file in person so we thought it was the perfect opportunity to bring Ella to see the city where she was born and drop off a letter to her birth family to the social welfare office. I noticed on the map that the government office where we will be going is directly across the street from the city health birthing center where she was born.

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We will be flying in and out of the city where Ella lived in a children's home for about 6 months before we came to bring her home. I told Ella we could visit there if she liked but we wouldn't have to. Both times I asked her she said she would like to visit. We regularly talk about the women there who took care of her including the the young social worker who's leg Ella clung to the first day we met,

and the women we talk about in our photos, who cried when they said goodbye to Ella that day at the airport.

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The way I see it is she will at some point have to face and deal with the emotional impact of her adoption and the loss related it. I want what we know about her history discussed enough so that it is a normal, natural part of her upbringing and it is easy for her to talk about it and as much as possible I want to combine those conversations with concrete experiences. By making information available and by acknowledging the loss of not one but two families and even more relationships after that, that she will know that we are here to help her walk through whatever comes up.

Just the other day Ella and I were playing with her baby dolls. Ella handed me her doll and told me that she had given birth to her baby but that she had to give it to me because she was very poor and she couldn't take care of it because her other baby was sick. This is quite close to what I've shared with her about her birth family's situation at the time of her relinquishment. I was amazed at her understanding and processing and I'm so so glad she is already doing it at home naturally and safely with me.

Ella's thoughts about her birth mom

I openly tell Ella what I know of her history.  As she has shown interest, we have talked in more detail about her birth mom and birth dad, as well as her foster family and the children's home she lived in for a while before we met.  She knows she grew in her birth mommy's tummy.  It wasn't long ago I showed her a photo of her birth parents for the first time.

I was holding her in a pool recently.  As she wrapped her arms around my neck she told me this, "I think you are much better mommy in the world.  I don't wanna be in 'nother woman's tummy.  You are the best."

Wow.  To hear what she thinks is so valuable to me.  This is by far the sweetest she's ever said to me and I received it as such a show of love and loyalty to me.  I expect that her feelings will change over time, but this seems to be how she feels about it right now and I treasure the insight.

Sweet words and the beginning of our girl processing her story

I just have to write this stuff down!

The past few days Ella has been telling me the sweetest things. They are almost too sweet to be true and I find myself wondering if she is just joking.  It goes something like this...

She gets her face right up close to mine, holds my head in her hands, looks me in the eyes and says, "Mommy, God made you so special to me," and then gives me a big hug.

Today she went a bit further and said, "God made you sooo special to me Mommy, and God made you so beautiful to me."

Are you kidding me? Does it get any sweeter than this?

Lately we've been talking more about her past, the history I know of hers. I've talked about it regularly over the past year or so but she is asking questions and interacting with me more about it so we end up talking about it more these days. I like to share what I know with her because it is her story and I want her to know it from the beginning so she can ask questions as they come up and feel comfortable discussing them with me anytime. Usually she just repeats what she hears from me and says things like, "When I was a baby I was chubby and had chubby lips. Remember that mommy?" This comes from me showing her the few newborn pictures I have of her. I do know she weighed 8 1/2 pounds at birth (chubby for here) and in her baby photos her beautiful, plump lips are so obvious, just like they are now. Love those beautiful full lips. So I say something like, "Yeah honey I remember that about you from the photos I have but we didn't know each other yet then." I go on to talk about who cared for her when she was a baby and who else was involved in taking care of her until we met her when she was two years old. I tell her about the first time we saw her and what that was like. I tell her about saying goodbye to some of the house mommas from the children's home at the airport that day we took her with us to Cebu, and how they cried.

Well last night as she was reiterating this story back to me, she asked me why those ladies were crying. I told her how they were sad because they really loved her and were gonna miss her. And she said, "I was sad too." I asked her why and she told me that she wanted to stay in that place. This was the first time she has shared anything about her experience of the transition to our family. I told her how sorry I was that we took her away when she didn't want to leave and acknowledge that that must have been very difficult for her since she didn't really know us. Then I asked her, "How do you feel now that you're here with us?" She replied, "I'm happy here."

Ella's First Day of School

I know it's strange to be starting school in November but let me explain.  The school year here starts in June and ends in March.  When I looked into putting Ella in preschool at the beginning of the current school year, I was disappointed that I wasn't able to find anything that was only a couple days a week. I did find a school I really liked but it was five days a week and I was just not ready to have Ella away from home that much to start out. I really wanted to transition her gently into something that would expose her to school and get her used to the idea of being part of a class without it being full-on school yet. She wasn't even quite four at the time so I figured school at this point wasn't totally essential, especially if I was intentional about our time together at home and getting her lots of opportunities for social time. Those things so far haven't been a problem.

What I decided was to do an experiment with a little preschool at home. Things just came together so well when I started looking into it. Ella has made some friends in our church congregation over the past year or so. She has really gained confidence socially and the fact that at age four she is more developmentally geared toward interacting with other kids really helps her readiness for this. It's so different from the 2-3.5 year old stage of independent play alongside other kids. So these particular few of Ella's friends are all within just a few months apart. They had no plans for preschool and seemed to also be very ready for something outside the home for a few hours a week (not to mention their mommas!).

We are doing a second semester of the 2012-2013 school year (November to March). I hired a teacher who is a friend in our congregation. I utilized the wisdom and experience of another dear friend Ellen, who was a preschool teacher in Hong Kong for years and is a wealth of knowledge. She has lots of resources she has been willing to share with me as I searched for curriculum to use.

I am using a Montessori at Home curriculum with some other stuff thrown in. It's been really fun learning about the Montessori philosophy and how great it is at nurturing a child's innate ability to learn through play. I also got Before Five in a Row, a literature-based preschool curriculum that I may try out a bit at some point. 

Our class is Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1:00 till 3:30 pm. Each of the moms are rotating assisting at each class and bringing snacks.

Today went GREAT! I was SO delighted to see Ella enjoying herself so much. She was eager and interested and participated fully. All five of the children seemed to have a great time. Here are a few shots of our playroom turned classroom and the new students.

Teacher Cherry Ann

Snack time!