Homesickness

Homesickness is one of the most tangible feelings. It's almost more of a physical feeling than an emotion. I feel it in my chest. I felt it as a kid when I spent the night at a friend's house. I've felt it while on long vacations. And I feel it when I'm adjusting to a new place. I feel it right now. I woke up with it this morning. I don't like it. It's not comfortable. It forces me to ponder my concept of home, familiarity, and what makes me feel at ease. What is home? What or where am I homesick for? I'm not quite sure to be honest. I miss Chiang Mai. I miss our friends there and the life we had. I miss the actual place - the smells, the sounds, the food, the ability to speak enough of the language to impress the locals. I miss the peace and contentment I felt during the 2nd half of our time there. I came to a place of accepting our Chiang Mai life and choosing to look on it positively. Once I did that it changed my experience. I grew to love life in Chiang Mai. I often recounted the many things to be thankful for there.We were blessed with some of the greatest friends! We all really grew close as we struggled to make Chiang Mai our home. Probably just before I got too comfortable was when the Lord closed the doors on Chiang Mai and clearly opened the door to the Philippines. With that came peace as we willingly redirected our lives to where God was pointing us. But now that we are fully relocated there is an adjustment that takes place to accepting this new place, this new life. There is some grieving that needs to happen. It's all sinking in that this is where we will be for the next couple of years at least, maybe longer. I realize it is important to walk through the emotions of that but at the same time I must again focus on what I'm thankful for. And we do have much. And I'll get into another sweet spot here in Cebu, I believe. It just takes some time. But for now I feel homesick and I'm not even sure what I'm longing for.