On Monday I met an American woman introduced to me by a mutual friend. She and her husband and their three older kids were in Cebu City because they came to pick up their adopted son. I got to hear all about her experience and how long they waited and who, in her experience, tends to get matched sooner. Some of the info was a little disappointing to hear, like how the adoption board can cause some pretty heavy delays so that some families get really stuck in part of the process, but other info was very promising. I learned that our application likely hasn't even been made available yet to social workers responsible for matching children. I learned that only a chunk of applications approved in certain period of time are up for matching and the next sets of applicants don't get released until those earlier ones are matched. I learned that they like families in which the adopted child is a first child and that any tie to or family background from the Philippines is a huge bonus, meaning these families tend to get chosen by the social workers first. Apparently social workers choose 2 or 3 families as options for a particular child and then it is up to the adoption board to pick out of them.
To me, this is hopeful. Since it seems our application hasn't been released yet, it tells me that perhaps once it does, it may not be long. We might be slightly more desirable given our childless status and the fact that we live in the Philippines. She also told us that she knows of some families who got matched after 9 and 11 months of waiting. (We've been waiting over 8 months.) Although this is less common, it is possible.
In addition, she mentioned that it may be possible for us to get a child younger than I earlier thought because of the new law in the Philippines that makes the abandonment process an administrative one through the Dept. of Social Welfare, rather than a judicial process through the already overloaded court system. Under this new law the time period before a child is considered abandoned has been reduced to a maximum of 3 months from the original minimum of 6 months. Because of this this law, which in already in effect, it's possible a child could be declared legally available for adoption in less than 2 months. Before, it took as long as 3 years in court proceedings for such declaration. This is very positive since it will reduce the amount of time children will need to live in a child caring agency prior to being placed with an adoptive family. However, it is unclear how and if it will positively affect the wait time for applicants on the adoption board's wait list. I had heard about this change in the law but had not thought it could affect the age of the child we get. Although we are not counting on it, the fact that it is possible is exciting for us.
This woman's adoption story and also the adoption story I read recently from a good friend of mine, Melissa, who adopted from Thailand, have some similarities. In both stories it was very clear that God had arranged all of the details AND the timing so that the circumstances that took place in order to bring a particular child to a particular family at a specified time just could not have taken place without God orchestrating it all. I was blown away by the timing element to it all.
I just believe that we are going to get matched when it is the exact right time and not only us, but many others sense that time is near. Last week my mom had a dream that I called her saying, We got the call! We're getting our kids in 2 weeks! And my father also told me that he just has a gut sense that something is going to happen soon. Wow! Talk about building my faith to pray specifically! Andrey even said recently, why pray that we hear by the end of the year? I'm asking for the end of the month. Ok, then. Fine. It's not like we are going to limit God by praying the wrong thing. He's going to do what he's going to do. But so, so many people are praying for us and with little encouragements and indications here and there, I can't help but be expectant! I feel like I'm in my third trimester.
Sometimes I wonder if God gives us faith to pray something that he plans to do. In this, he involves us in bringing about his will and because we asked for it, it builds our faith. It also honors God for us to believe him enough to pray specifically, to ask, to seek, to knock; knowing that he is going to act. This is also a faith-building process and in it God is delighted that his children trust and believe him enough to do what he wants to do in the first place! Does this make sense?
So each day, an alarm goes off on my phone to remind me and Andrey to pray together for the following:
- That God would be with our child(ren), wherever they are. The he would protect them and keep evil far from them
- That they would know and experience the love of the Father and the Mother through the revelation of the Holy Spirit and ideally also through the love of the people caring for them
- That they would be well cared for by those responsible for them
- That God would prepare them to join our family
- That we would get the call informing us that we have been matched by the end of the year (or the end of the month) :-)
- That the child(ren) would come from CEBU or an island in this region
Woohoo! I'm so excited to be a mommy! And I just know that Andrey is going to be a fantastic daddy.
4 comments:
You guys will be fantastic parents. Can't wait!
Thanks for sharing. We agree that you will be fantastic parents. It is a privilege to ask our Father together with you about those specific requests.
Praying for you guys.
:)
can't wait to squeeze your babies!
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