I worked last night and got to deliver another baby. I'm so happy that babies are being born during my shifts! I have increased from two shifts a week to three, so that helps as well.
Interestingly, the birth last night was so similar to the two we had on Wednesday night - a first-time mom ("primie"), age 19 or 20, giving birth to a boy weighing around 3 kg, some tearing & suturing and some hemorrhaging. Crazy. So perhaps we can say I'm fairly comfortable now with that particular type of birth? I emphasize "fairly." I'm getting there. I will say though, that it is refreshing to deliver babies that have a healthy birth weight. I love that.
In the year and a half I've been at the clinic I've noticed that certain situations and complications happen in groups. It's very strange but it really does happen like that where for example, all the babies in a week will end up needing phototherapy for jaundice, or IV meds for infection, or we'll have many cases of hemorrhage, or transport to hospital for induction due to slow progress, or a slough of normal births (love those!), or premature rupture of membranes, or whatever. I guess this week is the week of primies who progress beautifully but tear and need suturing and some form of intervention for blood loss.
The suture job I did last night took me nearly two hours as it was definitely the most challenging case I've had so far. It was great experience - especially with Hilary talking me through and assisting me the entire time. I'm learning so much from her!
I have come to believe that catching the baby is actually the easy part (and the most fun). What is challenging is managing a birth appropriately, i.e. knowing when to intervene or transfer care; managing & treating blood loss; assessing tears and suturing them up properly; newborn assessment, etc... Those are the hard parts.
So I only got a few hours of sleep again last night but I can't complain. I'm having a great time. :-)
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Where we are at with the adoption
Some have asked if there have been any developments with the adoption. This is where we are right now.
Before we left for the US on Sept 19, our social worker agreed to write an addendum to our home study, which took us many weeks before that to get her to agree to do. The agreed-upon plan was for her to email it to us before she submitted it so that we could make sure it was accurate (which is what failed to happen with the original home study, thus the numerous inaccuracies that resulted in us feeling very misrepresented).
Here we are November 1. About a week ago I called her and left a message. Then I emailed her asking about the addendum and kindly and respectfully asked her to call or email us. Nothing. It's been nearly six weeks since we've heard from her. Next week, I'll call and email her again and if I don't hear anything I'll email Holt in the US. That has caused her to act in the past.
Our original home study was submitted to the Inter-country Adoption Board of the Philippines (ICAB) on August 13th and we are told it takes 2-3 months for approval. To my knowledge, since ICAB isn't expecting an addendum, we should be expecting an approval from them any day now. Oh! It just now occured to me that perhaps our social worker knows this and perhaps once we are approved by ICAB, she will think it is pointless to write an addendum. Hmmm, interesting. I wonder about that. Or perhaps it's a better idea to submit the addendum after our approval? I'd consider dropping it if in fact they do approve us without it but there needs to be consistency between the information in our home study and the information we give to the US government. Anyway, I'm just processing this as I write. Sorry to bore you with those details.
Frankly I don't know what is best. I just pray and have to trust that the Lord is taking care of it and that if there is anything we really should be doing differently, that he is big enough to make us aware of it. I will keep doing what I can to get our social worker to come through on what she promised. The rest is out of our hands at this point.
I will say however, that once we get that approval from ICAB, we will officially be waiting for a match which means technically we could get a call at any time!
Before we left for the US on Sept 19, our social worker agreed to write an addendum to our home study, which took us many weeks before that to get her to agree to do. The agreed-upon plan was for her to email it to us before she submitted it so that we could make sure it was accurate (which is what failed to happen with the original home study, thus the numerous inaccuracies that resulted in us feeling very misrepresented).
Here we are November 1. About a week ago I called her and left a message. Then I emailed her asking about the addendum and kindly and respectfully asked her to call or email us. Nothing. It's been nearly six weeks since we've heard from her. Next week, I'll call and email her again and if I don't hear anything I'll email Holt in the US. That has caused her to act in the past.
Our original home study was submitted to the Inter-country Adoption Board of the Philippines (ICAB) on August 13th and we are told it takes 2-3 months for approval. To my knowledge, since ICAB isn't expecting an addendum, we should be expecting an approval from them any day now. Oh! It just now occured to me that perhaps our social worker knows this and perhaps once we are approved by ICAB, she will think it is pointless to write an addendum. Hmmm, interesting. I wonder about that. Or perhaps it's a better idea to submit the addendum after our approval? I'd consider dropping it if in fact they do approve us without it but there needs to be consistency between the information in our home study and the information we give to the US government. Anyway, I'm just processing this as I write. Sorry to bore you with those details.
Frankly I don't know what is best. I just pray and have to trust that the Lord is taking care of it and that if there is anything we really should be doing differently, that he is big enough to make us aware of it. I will keep doing what I can to get our social worker to come through on what she promised. The rest is out of our hands at this point.
I will say however, that once we get that approval from ICAB, we will officially be waiting for a match which means technically we could get a call at any time!
More on Adoption & Being Ready for Motherhood
In the past week or two I've found myself more comfortable with referring to our future adopted children as "our kids." I feel like I can almost imagine who they are. I can clearly imagine two. Siblings. A boy and a girl perhaps? That is less clear. I can't imagine their ages. Part of me really hopes for a baby but I'm trying not to get too excited about that for fear of disappointment.
Perhaps I'm just making all that up but when my parents were visiting my father encouraged us to be specific when praying and asking for children. So I've been thinking about what my "ideal" option would be. It sounds weird but I thought it couldn't hurt. After all, I'm not getting my heart too set on any one specific thing and I know I can not limit God's plan by dreaming and praying. It's not like I'm going out to buy a double stroller with a baby carrier attachment.
While in Alabama I had a long conversation with my parents' neighbor. She and her husband adopted a toddler from the Ukraine. She said something that struck me. She said that she just knew that God had created her son specifically for their family. At first I found I couldn't agree completely as I believe God does not intend for families to not be able to care for their children or for a mother or father to choose to abandon a child. But what I've come to embrace as my own view is the belief that our children were created with Andrey and me in mind.
That has brought me to the place where I feel free to refer to those children (whoever and wherever they are) as ours... and mine. This has helped me in praying for them. I find I am already becoming connected to them in some way. I think about more often than before.
My prayer for them is this. That they would experience God's love, somehow. That God would reveal himself to them and that they would know him, even as very young children. That they would experience his comfort and love - despite their care situation but ideally through the loving touch and attentiveness of their carers. I pray the Lord be with them in a close, personal way. That they know his peace, his joy, his comfort, his protection and security.
Even as I write this I hear the voices of doubt hovering just below the surface of my mind saying,
"That's not possible. How can that be? That's unrealistic. You're asking too much."
But that's what hope and faith look like. Believing for the impossible knowing that God desires to bless us with more than we can even ask for or imagine. (I still think I'll be pregnant one day.) For I firmly believe that he is trustworthy and faithful in all he does. And that those whose help is from God, whose hope is in the Lord, are blessed. And those who put their hope in the Lord will not be disappointed. These are the truths that have carried me through our struggle with infertility and I choose to believe them - not because it feels good to believe them but because I personally know the God behind those promises and I know from experience that he. really. is. good. So how can I go wrong?
It's not that I believe that no way are our children going to grieve or struggle with attachment or face challenges common to adopted children. Those issues just seem reasonable to me for children who experience tremendous amounts of loss and uncertainty before and through the process of adoption. So I'm doing what I can to prepare myself for these things so I'm not blind-sided and left without resources to deal with them.
And at the same time I am holding out hope for having a relatively positive adjustment period. I've read about particularly resilient children that seem to be able to deal with transition and change shockingly well. But regardless, I feel confident that whatever we are faced with, (and I do expect trials!) we are going to be able to handle - with God's help and with reasonable preparation and support from others.
So I declare these truths over our children:
Though [your] father and mother forsake [you], the Lord will receive [you]. Psalm 27:10
The Lord will keep you from all harm. He will watch over your life, the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:7-8
At times I really feel like something is missing. In the last month or two especially I've become aware of this place in me that feels ready. I feel more than ready. I want my children. I want them with us. I want to be the one to care for them. They belong with us. At times I've tapped into this deep place within me that groans in anticipation. I am becoming a mother.
Last week there were signs that the time may have been right to try and make a baby. I mean, why not? And then it occurred to me. If I were to (miraculously) become pregnant, our adoption process would end. I was suddenly aware of my desire for those Filipino kids I've already set my heart on. I choose them.
At church on Sunday there was a baby dedication. My first thought was how I want so badly to dedicate our children to the Lord in this church. The desire was so strong I had to fight hard to keep from crying. So I prayed for that specifically. As my father encouraged me recently and as it has been said, "You have not because you ask not."
Perhaps I'm just making all that up but when my parents were visiting my father encouraged us to be specific when praying and asking for children. So I've been thinking about what my "ideal" option would be. It sounds weird but I thought it couldn't hurt. After all, I'm not getting my heart too set on any one specific thing and I know I can not limit God's plan by dreaming and praying. It's not like I'm going out to buy a double stroller with a baby carrier attachment.
While in Alabama I had a long conversation with my parents' neighbor. She and her husband adopted a toddler from the Ukraine. She said something that struck me. She said that she just knew that God had created her son specifically for their family. At first I found I couldn't agree completely as I believe God does not intend for families to not be able to care for their children or for a mother or father to choose to abandon a child. But what I've come to embrace as my own view is the belief that our children were created with Andrey and me in mind.
That has brought me to the place where I feel free to refer to those children (whoever and wherever they are) as ours... and mine. This has helped me in praying for them. I find I am already becoming connected to them in some way. I think about more often than before.
My prayer for them is this. That they would experience God's love, somehow. That God would reveal himself to them and that they would know him, even as very young children. That they would experience his comfort and love - despite their care situation but ideally through the loving touch and attentiveness of their carers. I pray the Lord be with them in a close, personal way. That they know his peace, his joy, his comfort, his protection and security.
Even as I write this I hear the voices of doubt hovering just below the surface of my mind saying,
"That's not possible. How can that be? That's unrealistic. You're asking too much."
But that's what hope and faith look like. Believing for the impossible knowing that God desires to bless us with more than we can even ask for or imagine. (I still think I'll be pregnant one day.) For I firmly believe that he is trustworthy and faithful in all he does. And that those whose help is from God, whose hope is in the Lord, are blessed. And those who put their hope in the Lord will not be disappointed. These are the truths that have carried me through our struggle with infertility and I choose to believe them - not because it feels good to believe them but because I personally know the God behind those promises and I know from experience that he. really. is. good. So how can I go wrong?
It's not that I believe that no way are our children going to grieve or struggle with attachment or face challenges common to adopted children. Those issues just seem reasonable to me for children who experience tremendous amounts of loss and uncertainty before and through the process of adoption. So I'm doing what I can to prepare myself for these things so I'm not blind-sided and left without resources to deal with them.
And at the same time I am holding out hope for having a relatively positive adjustment period. I've read about particularly resilient children that seem to be able to deal with transition and change shockingly well. But regardless, I feel confident that whatever we are faced with, (and I do expect trials!) we are going to be able to handle - with God's help and with reasonable preparation and support from others.
So I declare these truths over our children:
Though [your] father and mother forsake [you], the Lord will receive [you]. Psalm 27:10
The Lord will keep you from all harm. He will watch over your life, the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:7-8
At times I really feel like something is missing. In the last month or two especially I've become aware of this place in me that feels ready. I feel more than ready. I want my children. I want them with us. I want to be the one to care for them. They belong with us. At times I've tapped into this deep place within me that groans in anticipation. I am becoming a mother.
Last week there were signs that the time may have been right to try and make a baby. I mean, why not? And then it occurred to me. If I were to (miraculously) become pregnant, our adoption process would end. I was suddenly aware of my desire for those Filipino kids I've already set my heart on. I choose them.
At church on Sunday there was a baby dedication. My first thought was how I want so badly to dedicate our children to the Lord in this church. The desire was so strong I had to fight hard to keep from crying. So I prayed for that specifically. As my father encouraged me recently and as it has been said, "You have not because you ask not."
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Busy Night
Last night I worked a shift at the clinic for the first time since we got back. It was a busy one. I had the privilege of catching two baby boys. How fun! And I got to suture again. Not fun for the mom but good practice for me.
When I arrived at 7:30 pm there was a woman in labor who had been admitted 2 hours prior and was found to be 7 centimeters dilated. She progressed quickly and gave birth to her first child just before 9 o'clock. Unfortunately for the mom, her son's hand was pressed against his face as he was exiting her body. That was the likely reason why she ended up with a second degree tear. Not fun for her but it did mean I got to get more suturing practice. I think I'm starting to get the swing of it.
Ten minutes after our first patient delivered, another woman in labor arrived. She was about 6 centimeters dilated. Clearly we were busy with all of our post-birth duties so it was good that the second patient didn't require a lot of attention. Our nurse on staff was able to attend to her while we focused on suturing and monitoring the health of both mom and the new baby while they got to know each other upstairs. By 11, the mom and new baby were settled in their bed and the labor room was cleaned and ready to go so we brought our newest patient upstairs. She too was a first-time mom. To be honest, she did not appear to be in active labor so we doubted whether she was actually progressing. She barely grimaced or made a sound during contractions. She whimpered a little and reached for her lower back with each set of pain. She kept saying she wanted to push so we explained to her why it's not a good idea to do that until she is at least dilated to 10 centimeters. Over the next hour she labored beautifully while we did what we could to support and encourage her. Despite her calm disposition it became clear that her contractions were indeed quite strong. I love watching a pregnant belly contract. You can see it change shape as it tightens and does its work at sending the baby on its way. It's amazing to watch.
In response to her increasing discomfort and desire to push we checked her progress. It was now midnight. I was pleased to find she had progressed to 9+ centimeters, with only a small portion of the cervix remaining. We broke her water and by the end of the next contraction she was fully dilated and ready to push. She was relieved to finally be given the green light to do so. (On a side note: we aren't trying to be mean when we don't let a woman push as soon as she says she's ready without checking her progress. An exception to this would be a woman who clearly has an unavoidable urge to push. We have numerous women who are accustomed to pushing well before it is time. Doing this can cause a lot of problems, from cervical swelling to maternal exhaustion, to malpresentation so we find it best to avoid this.)
It took our mom some time to find a way of pushing that was effective. She alternated between a semi-sitting position and a full squat. She ended up pushing for about 45 minutes, which is perfectly normal for a first time mom. The baby descended little by little until finally it was crowning. We encouraged the mom to breath and let the baby's head ease out slowly. She was a trooper at responding to our directions.
The baby's head was born, then with the next contraction the entire body was delivered. And would you believe that this baby ALSO had his hand up close to the top of his head so that his elbow was at shoulder level. This too caused quite a bad tear. Probably the worst I've seen yet. Hilary had to do the suturing as it was very close to being a 4th degree tear. Poor mommy. That's going to take some time to heal.
After another suturing job, getting another mom and baby settled, and checking vital signs on the other four mother & baby pairs we were able to sleep for a couple of hours. That was at 4 this morning. With that, I'll sign off. I'm going to try and get some more rest.
When I arrived at 7:30 pm there was a woman in labor who had been admitted 2 hours prior and was found to be 7 centimeters dilated. She progressed quickly and gave birth to her first child just before 9 o'clock. Unfortunately for the mom, her son's hand was pressed against his face as he was exiting her body. That was the likely reason why she ended up with a second degree tear. Not fun for her but it did mean I got to get more suturing practice. I think I'm starting to get the swing of it.
Ten minutes after our first patient delivered, another woman in labor arrived. She was about 6 centimeters dilated. Clearly we were busy with all of our post-birth duties so it was good that the second patient didn't require a lot of attention. Our nurse on staff was able to attend to her while we focused on suturing and monitoring the health of both mom and the new baby while they got to know each other upstairs. By 11, the mom and new baby were settled in their bed and the labor room was cleaned and ready to go so we brought our newest patient upstairs. She too was a first-time mom. To be honest, she did not appear to be in active labor so we doubted whether she was actually progressing. She barely grimaced or made a sound during contractions. She whimpered a little and reached for her lower back with each set of pain. She kept saying she wanted to push so we explained to her why it's not a good idea to do that until she is at least dilated to 10 centimeters. Over the next hour she labored beautifully while we did what we could to support and encourage her. Despite her calm disposition it became clear that her contractions were indeed quite strong. I love watching a pregnant belly contract. You can see it change shape as it tightens and does its work at sending the baby on its way. It's amazing to watch.
In response to her increasing discomfort and desire to push we checked her progress. It was now midnight. I was pleased to find she had progressed to 9+ centimeters, with only a small portion of the cervix remaining. We broke her water and by the end of the next contraction she was fully dilated and ready to push. She was relieved to finally be given the green light to do so. (On a side note: we aren't trying to be mean when we don't let a woman push as soon as she says she's ready without checking her progress. An exception to this would be a woman who clearly has an unavoidable urge to push. We have numerous women who are accustomed to pushing well before it is time. Doing this can cause a lot of problems, from cervical swelling to maternal exhaustion, to malpresentation so we find it best to avoid this.)
It took our mom some time to find a way of pushing that was effective. She alternated between a semi-sitting position and a full squat. She ended up pushing for about 45 minutes, which is perfectly normal for a first time mom. The baby descended little by little until finally it was crowning. We encouraged the mom to breath and let the baby's head ease out slowly. She was a trooper at responding to our directions.
The baby's head was born, then with the next contraction the entire body was delivered. And would you believe that this baby ALSO had his hand up close to the top of his head so that his elbow was at shoulder level. This too caused quite a bad tear. Probably the worst I've seen yet. Hilary had to do the suturing as it was very close to being a 4th degree tear. Poor mommy. That's going to take some time to heal.
After another suturing job, getting another mom and baby settled, and checking vital signs on the other four mother & baby pairs we were able to sleep for a couple of hours. That was at 4 this morning. With that, I'll sign off. I'm going to try and get some more rest.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Alabama Photos
Another Haenlein family reunion. As usual, some quirky outbursts ensued. Here we are attempting the classic family shot. Many of these were taken by my father without our knowledge while he was supposedly setting up the timer on the camera. Nice one, Dad. You captured the moments well. We certainly are a bunch of nuts.
What is it about the conscripted family photo shoot that results in berserk fits of disobedience?
My brother's new boxer puppy, Purity
Here the guys are playing King of the Hill on the huge pile of sand
my Dad has accumulated near the pond on their property
Mom & Dad at their 35th Anniversary dinner
What is it about the conscripted family photo shoot that results in berserk fits of disobedience?
My brother's new boxer puppy, Purity
Here the guys are playing King of the Hill on the huge pile of sandmy Dad has accumulated near the pond on their property
Mom & Dad at their 35th Anniversary dinnerMonday, October 27, 2008
English...that funny & difficult language
I bought a bamboo cutting board today. Made in China. This is what it said on the label:
"People need bamboo for inhabitancy under the circmstance eating without meat"
Did you know that?
"People need bamboo for inhabitancy under the circmstance eating without meat"
Did you know that?
You know something's different when...
When Andrey and I woke up today we both noted the overcast and drizzly weather outside and it brought us joy. When we were in the kitchen preparing breakfast we noticed a coolish breeze. Put it this way, we couldn't be happier about clouds and rain! My immediate thought was that I wasn't going to sweat as much today. Maybe I'll only need one shower. Maybe I'll even make it through the day without having to change my clothes. Maybe I won't feel dehydrated today. I remember the days even last month when the idea of clouds and rain meant cold, miserable weather and how differently we'd felt when waking up to weather like that. How different life is in the tropics!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Fuzzy Day, Random Brain
I stayed up till 10:30 last night which is pretty darn good for ensuring a good first sleep after traveling to the other side of the earth. I was glad we both slept pretty well last night, with only a few short wakings throughout. I wonder how Andrey is holding up at the office now that it's late afternoon. I'm thankful I don't have to start back at the clinic for a few days. There is much to get caught up on here at home. I've learned to maximize those more alert, early hours in the day while getting over jet-lag.
So far my day has been productive but now I'm fighting the urge to lay my head down and close my eyes. I was alert early this morning but now the brain fuzziness is setting in big time. I do feel satisfied with what I accomplished today - or at least I should feel satisfied. I got our bills paid, check books balanced and our budget up-to-date and ready to report to Andrey on the status of our finances post-furlough. I made a few necessary adoption-related phone calls. One to the US Embassy in Manila regarding an approval notice we are anticipating for some forms we submitted a while back. The other to our social worker who is supposed to be working on an addendum to our home study which should have been completed well before now. She was conveniently not available. I took advantage of the time alone and did some praying and journaling. I also did some much needed emailing, planned a few dinners and educated myself on what is happening in the world via CNN international version. It takes leaving America to actually get some international news. I mean, I too am enraptured with the US election and I can't wait to find out who our next president will be but after a week and a half in Alabama trying not to get too angry or disrespectful when FOX News was dominating the TV (love you Mom & Dad!), I realized that I had no idea what else is going on in the world. The funny thing is that when I watch other news I find myself just wanting the non-US-election news segments to hurry up and get on with the election coverage! Only 12 more days. I never thought I could be so wrapped up in it. Do those "best political team on TV" people on CNN ever sleep? What is everyone going to talk about once it's over?
All that should mean that I shouldn't be feeling guilty for not accomplishing more today, right? But I still feel a little guilty. Does this mean I'm going to have a hard time when I'm home all day with kids and didn't feel like I accomplished anything? Oh boy.
Well guilt or no guilt, I am now letting myself get caught up on blogging - both reading and writing - since I got a little behind while on furlough. Frankly, my brain isn't up to much more right now.
A good aid for adjusting to a new time change is to be outside in fresh air but I just can't bring myself to go for a walk in our congested neighborhood in the heat. In fact, I haven't left our air-conditioned bedroom most of the day. I feel pent up though. And my legs hurt for some reason. Soon I'm going to have to get in the kitchen and get some dinner together. It was so nice to be in North America in the fall. Being outside in the cool, dry air. Working in the kitchen without sweating. Now I'm practically sweating in the air con! I'm gonna tell myself it will take a few days to get acclimated to the heat again.
My goals for the rest of today?
STAY AWAKE TILL NINE
FEED SELF & HUSBAND
DON'T FEEL GUILTY
So far my day has been productive but now I'm fighting the urge to lay my head down and close my eyes. I was alert early this morning but now the brain fuzziness is setting in big time. I do feel satisfied with what I accomplished today - or at least I should feel satisfied. I got our bills paid, check books balanced and our budget up-to-date and ready to report to Andrey on the status of our finances post-furlough. I made a few necessary adoption-related phone calls. One to the US Embassy in Manila regarding an approval notice we are anticipating for some forms we submitted a while back. The other to our social worker who is supposed to be working on an addendum to our home study which should have been completed well before now. She was conveniently not available. I took advantage of the time alone and did some praying and journaling. I also did some much needed emailing, planned a few dinners and educated myself on what is happening in the world via CNN international version. It takes leaving America to actually get some international news. I mean, I too am enraptured with the US election and I can't wait to find out who our next president will be but after a week and a half in Alabama trying not to get too angry or disrespectful when FOX News was dominating the TV (love you Mom & Dad!), I realized that I had no idea what else is going on in the world. The funny thing is that when I watch other news I find myself just wanting the non-US-election news segments to hurry up and get on with the election coverage! Only 12 more days. I never thought I could be so wrapped up in it. Do those "best political team on TV" people on CNN ever sleep? What is everyone going to talk about once it's over?
All that should mean that I shouldn't be feeling guilty for not accomplishing more today, right? But I still feel a little guilty. Does this mean I'm going to have a hard time when I'm home all day with kids and didn't feel like I accomplished anything? Oh boy.
Well guilt or no guilt, I am now letting myself get caught up on blogging - both reading and writing - since I got a little behind while on furlough. Frankly, my brain isn't up to much more right now.
A good aid for adjusting to a new time change is to be outside in fresh air but I just can't bring myself to go for a walk in our congested neighborhood in the heat. In fact, I haven't left our air-conditioned bedroom most of the day. I feel pent up though. And my legs hurt for some reason. Soon I'm going to have to get in the kitchen and get some dinner together. It was so nice to be in North America in the fall. Being outside in the cool, dry air. Working in the kitchen without sweating. Now I'm practically sweating in the air con! I'm gonna tell myself it will take a few days to get acclimated to the heat again.
My goals for the rest of today?
STAY AWAKE TILL NINE
FEED SELF & HUSBAND
DON'T FEEL GUILTY
Thursday, October 23, 2008
It Feels Good to be Home
We made it! Bags intact and all five flights on-time. Montgomery-Memphis-Detroit-Nagoya-Manila-Cebu. Whew! Door-to-door the trip took 42 hours. That included 6 hours of sleep in a hotel in Manila. Not bad. I think Andrey and I are becoming quite the travelers as trips like these just don't seem to be that big of a deal anymore. In some ways they are even fun - a good time to decompress and think and be before delving into life as usual again. We'd better enjoy it while it lasts because traveling with 1-2 kids is going to change that!
There was some stress in the beginning when it wasn't clear if we were going to get seats together on the 12-hour flight from Detroit to Nagoya. Even though we booked months ago and checked-in online 24 hours in advance, we were assigned separate seats and weren't able to change them. Being separated on the shorter flights is no big deal but for that one long one I really like to sit with Andrey so I can prop my head on his shoulder to sleep and not have to worry that I'll lean into and drool on a stranger in my drowsiness. Thankfully, a kind young Filipino man was obliged to switch seats so that we could sit together. I was so happy. We both slept most of the flight. We both had "fat feet" by the end of it.
The title of this post mentions "home." I use this term when going "home" to North America and when we return "home" to Asia. What is "home" anyway? This is something I've pondered lately, especially as I wonder what our future kids will identify as their home. For us home is a very loose term. Now that we are well up-rooted from our life in North America there is no one place that feels like home more than any other. There are elements of home in many places we go.
Home is where family is. Home is where we currently live. Home is the ease I feel when comfortable and surrounded by familiarity. Home is a sense in my being that whispers, you are secure, you are loved. Home is where I am truly free to be myself. Home is with Jesus. And since His Spirit lives in me I can feel at home anywhere. One day I will meet my Jesus face-to-face and in His embrace I will really find out what it feels like to be home.
What will I teach my kids about home? I think that I want them to know their place in God's family first, then their place in our family, then their place in the world/on this earth. I guess if you have your identity straight then your definition of home can be very loose without it threatening your peace. I think home is wrapped up in identity. Maybe that's why I have no problem with home meaning so many different things - because underlying it all I know who I am. I am a child of God, part of God's family. I want my kids to know who they are and where their true home is. I think this will be important as I can imagine that it may be a little confusing to be from the Philippines but have a couple of Americans for parents and potentially live in a country other than either of those two places (because who knows where we will live once/if we leave the Philippines). I do hope we get to stay in the Philippines for a while though and that our kids will have the opportunity to stay in their home country during the initial adoption adjustment/bonding period. I'm not exactly sure why I think that would be great but even if that doesn't happen I believe that our kids can have a healthy concept of home. I mean, what a better way to experience life in God's family? Afterall, we are orphans. We've been adopted into God's family. Perhaps it is a privilege for our kids to have the opportunity to grasp that from the beginning. Perhaps they will have to learn about their true identity early on without being limited to an identity related to their nationality. Not that I won't expose them to and educate them about their Filipino heritage as I think that is important but I want to model and teach an expanded definition of home as I have come to understand it.
I was happy to arrive in Cebu today...even with the dense, humid air that slapped us in the face as we got off the plane. I was happy to enter our house and rediscover its unique smell. America and Canada felt pristine and shiny. In comparison Cebu City is bedraggled. Chaotic. Developing. Foreign. Driving through traffic with the windows down I felt grateful for the breeze and the white, puffy clouds that made the day just shy of unbearably hot. Ah yes, I know this feeling. Sweat immediately forming in the crevasses of my body. My bangs that were so cute and stylish suddenly a nuisance. Even though we have air-con in our car, we drove with the windows down so we could take in the sounds and smell of this place that is remarkably strange yet familiar. There are just so many people. Everywhere. Lots of them.
"Oh look! The pineapple guy!" I tell Andrey to pull over. I plan to buy two (they're small). The man says, "3 for 100 pesos." "Alright," I say. How wonderful! Three delicious pineapples that have already been shaved for about $2! Oh joy. By tomorrow I'll have a few canker sores but who cares.
Well that's all for now. My brain is fuzzy and I'm not sure if I'm making any sense at all, just rambling a bit. It's almost 7 pm here and I'm starting to fade. It's time to get up and do something. I've got to make it until 9 pm at least. That's the rule.
There was some stress in the beginning when it wasn't clear if we were going to get seats together on the 12-hour flight from Detroit to Nagoya. Even though we booked months ago and checked-in online 24 hours in advance, we were assigned separate seats and weren't able to change them. Being separated on the shorter flights is no big deal but for that one long one I really like to sit with Andrey so I can prop my head on his shoulder to sleep and not have to worry that I'll lean into and drool on a stranger in my drowsiness. Thankfully, a kind young Filipino man was obliged to switch seats so that we could sit together. I was so happy. We both slept most of the flight. We both had "fat feet" by the end of it.
The title of this post mentions "home." I use this term when going "home" to North America and when we return "home" to Asia. What is "home" anyway? This is something I've pondered lately, especially as I wonder what our future kids will identify as their home. For us home is a very loose term. Now that we are well up-rooted from our life in North America there is no one place that feels like home more than any other. There are elements of home in many places we go.
Home is where family is. Home is where we currently live. Home is the ease I feel when comfortable and surrounded by familiarity. Home is a sense in my being that whispers, you are secure, you are loved. Home is where I am truly free to be myself. Home is with Jesus. And since His Spirit lives in me I can feel at home anywhere. One day I will meet my Jesus face-to-face and in His embrace I will really find out what it feels like to be home.
What will I teach my kids about home? I think that I want them to know their place in God's family first, then their place in our family, then their place in the world/on this earth. I guess if you have your identity straight then your definition of home can be very loose without it threatening your peace. I think home is wrapped up in identity. Maybe that's why I have no problem with home meaning so many different things - because underlying it all I know who I am. I am a child of God, part of God's family. I want my kids to know who they are and where their true home is. I think this will be important as I can imagine that it may be a little confusing to be from the Philippines but have a couple of Americans for parents and potentially live in a country other than either of those two places (because who knows where we will live once/if we leave the Philippines). I do hope we get to stay in the Philippines for a while though and that our kids will have the opportunity to stay in their home country during the initial adoption adjustment/bonding period. I'm not exactly sure why I think that would be great but even if that doesn't happen I believe that our kids can have a healthy concept of home. I mean, what a better way to experience life in God's family? Afterall, we are orphans. We've been adopted into God's family. Perhaps it is a privilege for our kids to have the opportunity to grasp that from the beginning. Perhaps they will have to learn about their true identity early on without being limited to an identity related to their nationality. Not that I won't expose them to and educate them about their Filipino heritage as I think that is important but I want to model and teach an expanded definition of home as I have come to understand it.
I was happy to arrive in Cebu today...even with the dense, humid air that slapped us in the face as we got off the plane. I was happy to enter our house and rediscover its unique smell. America and Canada felt pristine and shiny. In comparison Cebu City is bedraggled. Chaotic. Developing. Foreign. Driving through traffic with the windows down I felt grateful for the breeze and the white, puffy clouds that made the day just shy of unbearably hot. Ah yes, I know this feeling. Sweat immediately forming in the crevasses of my body. My bangs that were so cute and stylish suddenly a nuisance. Even though we have air-con in our car, we drove with the windows down so we could take in the sounds and smell of this place that is remarkably strange yet familiar. There are just so many people. Everywhere. Lots of them.
"Oh look! The pineapple guy!" I tell Andrey to pull over. I plan to buy two (they're small). The man says, "3 for 100 pesos." "Alright," I say. How wonderful! Three delicious pineapples that have already been shaved for about $2! Oh joy. By tomorrow I'll have a few canker sores but who cares.
Well that's all for now. My brain is fuzzy and I'm not sure if I'm making any sense at all, just rambling a bit. It's almost 7 pm here and I'm starting to fade. It's time to get up and do something. I've got to make it until 9 pm at least. That's the rule.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Another furlough is done
Early tomorrow morning we'll begin our journey back to Asia after another year's furlough. We've spent the last 9 days in Alabama with my side of the family. My parents only have dial-up at their house so we've been a little out of touch. We're at Starbucks for a couple of hours making use of the internet so I was just now able to at least get the rest of the photos up from our time in Eastern Canada. I'll post about the Alabama portion once we get back to Cebu.
It's been a wonderful furlough (our 4th since we left the US) with times of relaxation, fun, reconnecting and a few speaking engagements regarding our respective areas of involvement in Cebu. While it's been enjoyable, I have to say that I'm ready to get back. At least for me, it's time to get productive again. Andrey has been working throughout our time here so he's still been able to at least keep up with a few things at the office. I'm ready to get back to the clinic and to dig into those hovering midwifery assignments. I'm ready to see our friends and get back to our church. I feel refreshed and energized for life in Cebu. Getting away like this usually has this positive effect on me. I get perspective and appreciate things about life in Asia that I might not recognize if I didn't get out of there every once in a while. For that I am so thankful to Andrey's employer for this chance each year to step away, take a deep breath, unplug, ponder, stop sweating, reconnect with loved ones, think, breath, rest, laugh and enjoy the benefits of certain longed-for conveniences and edible treats while hanging out in North America. We are so blessed. I am thankful.
It's been a wonderful furlough (our 4th since we left the US) with times of relaxation, fun, reconnecting and a few speaking engagements regarding our respective areas of involvement in Cebu. While it's been enjoyable, I have to say that I'm ready to get back. At least for me, it's time to get productive again. Andrey has been working throughout our time here so he's still been able to at least keep up with a few things at the office. I'm ready to get back to the clinic and to dig into those hovering midwifery assignments. I'm ready to see our friends and get back to our church. I feel refreshed and energized for life in Cebu. Getting away like this usually has this positive effect on me. I get perspective and appreciate things about life in Asia that I might not recognize if I didn't get out of there every once in a while. For that I am so thankful to Andrey's employer for this chance each year to step away, take a deep breath, unplug, ponder, stop sweating, reconnect with loved ones, think, breath, rest, laugh and enjoy the benefits of certain longed-for conveniences and edible treats while hanging out in North America. We are so blessed. I am thankful.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Hike at Musquodoboit Harbour Trail
The day before we left Nova Scotia we took a lovely hike with Mike, Lisa and Stella. It was drizzly and overcast but turned out to be perfect weather for working up a sweat while taking in beautiful scenery in the Nova Scotian woods. The brightly-colored autumn leaves speak for themselves...
Localicious
A day of apple-picking and a trip to an herb garden, meat shop, cheese house and a farmer's market resulted in a tasty dinner meal with beloved friends who we are privileged to call family...
Items purchased: 10 kilos of apples (hand-picked), sausage made from local pork, quark cheese, smoked gouda, whole wheat bread, broccoli, sweet potatoes, blueberries and ginger lime thyme jam
The hungry bunch
maple sausages with homemade apple sauce, roasted sweet potatoes and steamed broccoli
(this came after our appetizer of cheese and ginger lime thyme jam on fresh bread)
Apple pie for dessert, of course...
Items purchased: 10 kilos of apples (hand-picked), sausage made from local pork, quark cheese, smoked gouda, whole wheat bread, broccoli, sweet potatoes, blueberries and ginger lime thyme jam
The hungry bunch
maple sausages with homemade apple sauce, roasted sweet potatoes and steamed broccoli(this came after our appetizer of cheese and ginger lime thyme jam on fresh bread)
Apple pie for dessert, of course...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)