Want to hear a good story?

In late January, a young mom came to Sunday worship with an extremely tiny, malnourished and sick baby in arms.  Baby J was clearly very dehydrated and lethargic and her eyes were full of gunk from infection.  I figured she must be a few weeks old.  I was shocked when C told me that the baby was already two months old.  Born premature in November with a birth weight of 1.2 kg (2 lbs, 10 oz), C told me how her baby now weighed less than 2 pounds.  She told me how she had brought the baby to the local health center and was told to put the baby on formula and sent home.

They couldn't afford to go to a doctor so they came to us.  Her brother is also a part of our church community and I had met this young gal back when her first child was an infant.  I am so glad she came on this day.  I knew that without proper intervention the baby would not last long.  When I told her and her partner how serious the situation was and how she needed to get the baby to hospital that very day, she drew her tiny baby up to her face and wept, clearly very worried.

Baby J spent just over a week in the public hospital and was treated for dehydration, pneumonia and sepsis. She responded well.  But with insufficient breast milk, C relied on formula she couldn't afford to feed Baby J.

Sometime in February a midwife friend of mine and I began visiting C in her home each week. With the help of a local doctor who saw them for free, both of C's babies were able to get check ups and medicine for some nagging chest infections.  I really wanted to help her increase her breast milk. Seeing Baby J recover from a critical level of malnutrition and seeing the tiny shack where they lived confirmed to me how essential it was to get this baby off formula. And aside from the obvious reasons for breastfeeding, there was a powerfully motivating economic reason.  They just could not afford it - especially in light of C's 18-month-old daughter, who was malnourished and not yet walking.  If we could get C breastfeeding Baby J exclusively then they can use her husband's small salary for food and not waste it on formula. And they barely have enough money for food.

I have seen numerous moms in the Philippines go from exclusive breastfeeding to "mixed feeding" because of a perceived and sometimes a real lack of breast milk.  Breastfeeding is not always easy and often takes a lot of work in the beginning to get things going.  When a new mom fears she doesn't have enough for her baby, it impacts her confidence and without any support you can see why poor women here feel they need to supplement with formula. (Why most middle-upper class women don't breastfeed here is another issue.)  The baby is given formula from a bottle and there is even less stimulation to the breast and then the milk supply doesn't even have a chance to build.  Formula helps to satisfy a screaming, hungry baby but it is counterproductive to exclusive breastfeeding.  Everyone knows that breastfeeding is best but it's the how that is lacking.  Many women want to breast feed and know they should but often lack the support to do so successfully.

I spent some time with C and Baby J and witnessed for myself that C really wasn't producing enough. We had her feeding on demand and hand expressing in between but we found that after getting formula from a bottle, baby J was becoming less willing to do the work at the breast to get milk. So we took the bottle away and had her and her partner work together to supplement while baby J was at the breast with the use of a large syringe and tiny feeding tube that was placed in the side of baby J's mouth as she suckled at the breast.  They only gave formula when baby J was not able to get enough at the breast.

The result was remarkable! It took several weeks and lots of prayer and encouragement, but C was able to reduce the amount of formula given to baby J from 8 ounces per day, to 4, to 3, to ZERO!!!

As of last week, she reported to me with a big smile on her face that she didn't need to give formula anymore.  She told me that baby J is now satisfied with just her milk.  The change in C's countenance as she told me this was indicative of the confidence and pride she was now feeling at her ability to care for and feed her baby. 

I am SO, so delighted at this I just had to share it with all of you.

Here's a photo (shared with permission) of C and baby J just a few days ago. I am happy to report that baby J is thriving and now weighs over 5 kg (11 lbs). C's other child is also doing well. We've been helping with things on the nutrition side and she is gaining weight and is now walking.  And C is getting help with family planning.

Another Side of Cebu

Cebu City is bordered by the ocean on one side and mountains on the other.  We regularly get to enjoy the ocean but it's not often we get out to explore the mountains.  There aren't any public walking trails or nature parks and so we've been a bit disappointed with lack of options for getting out in nature for a hike.  Now that we have Ella and we see how much she loves and needs to frolic around where there are trees and grass and open space, we recently decided to settle for a walk in the powerful midday sun on a road through lots of farm land that has some nice views.  We enjoyed it so much we wondered why we haven't done this more in the past.  It's perfect for Ella, who loves finding a good stick or two, riding on Daddy's shoulders, skipping with mommy and being social with the many cows and goats along the way.  We are so thankful to live in such a beautiful place.  I realize that by adjusting expectations and having the right kind of attitude we get to experience some simple but great things that we might otherwise miss out on. 

More Nosy Ladies

I ran into another extremely nosy and tactless lady at the market yesterday.  Opposed to my last nosy lady interaction, I responded so much better this time.  I think it was a bit easier to handle the barrage of questions about me and Ella because they were directed at the lady I was buying mangoes from.  This woman was verbally processing all the questions she had about us and wanted to start a conversation with the seller about us, perhaps assuming we didn't understand a word she was saying.  But I did understand. And the seller, whom I've bought from before, knew I understood, so she was noticeably uncomfortable with this woman's gossipy chatter. 

I was thankful that the seller kept quiet and let me handle it.  So as the lady tried to discuss how clearly American I was and how clearly Filipino my daughter was and wondered aloud where my daughter's "real" mama was, I acted as if I didn't understand but gave knowing glances to the mango seller.  I ignored the nosy woman, but as she continued I began talking to the mango seller in Cebuano and the woman could then see that I understood.  You'd think this would cause her to feel a little embarrassed for talking about us so openly where we could hear but no, she just went on as if her curiosity and questioning was perfectly acceptable.  She then directed her questions at Ella.  Hello baby! Where is your mommy? You speak Cebuano right? At this point I was really annoyed and so thankful that Ella did not understand what she was saying because she said it in Cebuano.  I then employed a local expression that people here use to say I don't want to talk about it in a light-hearted way.  I looked at the woman and said, "Secret!" with a smirky smile.  The woman sort of laughed it off and I left... without giving ANY information and with my daughter's privacy and dignity intact.  It felt so good.

I guess I should be ready for the scenario when Ella is asked Where is your mommy? question in English.  She would probably just look at the person like they were stupid because clearly her mommy is right here.  I really, really hate that question. 

I am finding a variety of ways to respond to strangers' questions.  I recently decided that when someone asks about me and my daughter and they aren't initially really offensive or annoying, and if I'm in the mood, I would take it as an opportunity to educate the person on international adoption.  I tried this last week when I had a conversation with a less nosy woman at our local running track.

On a quick side note.  This woman asked if the child in the stroller I was pushing was my daughter.  Then she asked, Can she walk?  I find this so funny and just tells of the fact that strollers are not commonly used around here.  In the mall, yes.  But not at the running track I guess.  I find it so amusing that her first thought was to wonder if my child was disabled.

Anyway, instead of even letting the conversation move to her asking how it is that me and my daughter don't look alike, I went right ahead and told her that we adopted our daughter and that there are many families around the world who adopt children from the Philippines.  I told her that we waited for three years to get her because we wanted her so bad and that she was chosen for us and how wonderfully happy we are now that we have her.  And then I directed the conversation elsewhere.

I often get this response from strangers who learn a little about our story - Oh she is so lucky!  To this I make a point to say something like, Oh thanks, but we are the ones who are lucky.  She is such an amazing girl and we love her so much.  She is not a charity case and I don't want her to ever think that we adopted her simply out of "the kindness of our heart".  What strangers don't consider is that we needed her as much as she needed us.  What they don't know about is the ache in my heart I carried for years and years as we waited for her.  

It feels very good to be learning how to take control of these interactions and protect my daughter in the process.  I want our discussions about our story and adoption to be on my terms and when I choose to share, I want the conversation to be very positive and natural.  At some point when Ella gets older I may have to direct the questions to her and let her decide if she wants to share or not.  We will have to work as a team to deal with inevitable interactions like these.

Ella's First Dentist Appointment

Ella got her first fillings at the dentist last week.  She came to us with what I thought were at least two cavities, maybe more, and there was nothing I could do about them until recently.  I dreaded the whole dental experience.  So I brought her with me to our dentist and let her see the office, meet the dentist and get the feel for the place.  After several visits she refused to sit in the chair.  When it came time to book a real appointment I realized that I didn't have full confidence in my dentist to work on Ella.  I really like my dentist but she is often distracted during appointments, taking phone calls in the middle of cleaning my teeth.

I was thankful when I got a glowing recommendation from a friend of mine for another dentist who had done some work on one of her kids.  So I took Ella in to the new dentist's office to make the appointment so she could see it and get familiar before her actual appointment. We went back a week later and I had very low expectations.  I talked to Ella about it all week leading up to it and only encouraged her to sit in the chair, open her mouth and let the dentist look inside.  I gauged her readiness by her response to this.  She was very positive (and super-cute practicing what she would do when the dentist asked her to open up) and seemed eager to give it a try.  I was nervous.

On our first visit she totally blew me away.  Not only did she do what she agreed to do, she actually sat there and let the dentist give her a good teeth cleaning.  I was able to sit with her in the chair, and while she was a bit nervous at first when it came time to lean back in the chair, she did so with encouragement from me and the dentist who was super matter-of-fact, kind, patient and all-around disarming. He was perfect. Thank God there were only two cavities. He said he could go ahead and do one of the fillings that day but I decided we shouldn't push it.

We came back a week later and she had her two cavities drilled out without any anesthesia and two fillings put in without even a twinge of pain.  I sat with her in the chair again and held her hands the whole time - not because she wanted that, but because I did - and I noticed that her hands and the rest of her body were so relaxed the entire time.  She was SO CUTE sitting there with her mouth open, body relaxed, tongue fishing around, and alternately turning her eyes to look at the dentist, then the assistant, then the dentist, etc.  This was like NO BIG DEAL for her whatsoever.

It appears that I have underestimated her. 

TMI extracted

I had a interaction with a very nosey woman at the pharmacy I stopped in at today.  It all happened so fast that by the end of it, which included the time it took for me to pay and wait for my change, I realized how much information this woman got out of me about my daughter and I almost felt violated. And frustrated with myself for answering any of her questions.

You just don't know how far people will take things when the line of questioning starts. Most of the time it's the usual three questions and then they get the picture, but not this woman. Oh man did she interrogate me.  I just didn't see it coming.

The exchange went something like this. By the way, this slew of questions took place in about 60 seconds, well before I realized it would have been much better to have been rude and cut it off at the beginning. I need to get better at this. Ugh.

Lady: Is she your daughter?
Me: Yes (smiling)
Lady: So are you American?
Me: Yes (looking away thinking, here we go)
Lady: So you live here?
Me: Yes
Lady: Are you married?
Me: Yes, almost 10 years (I'm proud of that and was happy to share it)
Lady: So your husband is Filipino?
Me: No
Lady: Huh? (confused look) But... (examining Ella with her eyes, meanwhile I'm thinking, please stop here, please clue in before I have to spell it out for you)
Me: She's adopted (I smile and wink at Ella)
Lady: So you were not able to have a child?
Me: Not yet! (smiling and trying to look positive. I said this knowing what she was asking me but thinking, I have a child, so I guess we were able!)
Lady: Does she know she's adopted?
Me: Yes! (exasperated tone, because jeez, I just told you that, in front of her, thank God this is not how my daughter learns that she is adopted you crazy lady!)
Lady: So does she see her Mom? She sees her mom often, right?
Me: Umm, No! (THANK GOD my change finally came from the other sales woman and I could walk out the door... As I walked away I screamed in my head, feeling very protective, YEAH SHE SEES HER MOM.  I AM HER MOM! This wasn't some under-the-table deal. What does this woman think?)

You see there is this stigma with adoption here. Families who can't conceive will often adopt a baby from a family they know or have heard of who have more than their fair share. This is done illegally and many times secretly because it is shameful for a couple to not be able to bear a child. I can't tell you how many times this kind of thing was attempted during my time at the maternity clinic. The birth mom asking us to write someone else's name on the birth certificate that she planned to give her baby to.  Sometimes the child is brought up without ever knowing they were adopted. Or even worse, I've heard of situations where the child joins the new family and is more of a second-rate child than a beloved family member. I mean, you know, you have your kids and then you have YOUR kids. My British friend who has 2 biological and 3 adopted children gets this all the time. "So which ones are yours?"

I know all this about local, under-the-table adoption in the Philippines. And it makes me angry to think that someone would apply any of that cultural stigma to my child and think that I adopted her illegally.  After all that we went through to get her I can feel so defensive. And so there is a part of me that wants to share just enough so that they know that our situation is not typical and that I love my daughter as if I carried her in my body for 9 months.  I did carry her actually.  I carried her for years and she grew, as did my love for her well before I knew her name.  And it is so freaking official, it couldn't be any more above-board.

So there. I just wanted to declare that.

I feel like a Momma Bear.  ROAR!!!

Ella and Roo

Ella has a special friend - a little purple puppy she affectionately calls Roo, after the young kangaroo character from Winnie the Pooh.  Ella loves Roo and is with him nearly all day and night.  She brings him wherever she goes.  If she happens to forget about him, she will ask, "Where Roo go?... Roo crying!" and run to find him.  When she is not dressing Roo or changing his bum, she is carrying him in the "baby carrier."

She has found so many ways to carry Roo.  I see now how silly those play baby carriers are for kids that one can buy.  Who needs 'em?  All you need is a scarf, blanket or in this case a removable apron strap.

The other type of baby carrier that Ella uses is a "pouch," which of course is appropriate for a small purple kangaroo. 

Here she is with Roo in the pouch but covered with a long shirt.  I love how she has her arms around her Roo-filled pouch, just like a pregnant woman.  She is so nurturing and affectionate with her "babies."

I was so impressed with this one.  I guess there wasn't enough space in her jeans so she grabbed her bathing suit and put it on. 

She also loves to "feed" Roo.  You can't really see it here but she has her shirt pulled down from the top to expose her nipple so she can line Roo up just right.  After all, positioning is important for a good latch.  ;-)  I have my good friend Hanna to thank for modeling this effective, over the top (no pun intended), nursing style.

She is so into Winnie the Pooh these days.  She has adapted Pooh's common expression of "Rumbly in my tumbly" and has made it her own.  She often lifts her shirt, rubs her tummy and says, "Oh YES! Tummy rumble!!" And it is the cutest thing ever. 

She is such a precious girl.  I am enjoying her so much.

Are we there yet?

I find myself in the throes of potty training... again.  Sigh.

I posted back in September that my daughter was potty-trained.  That declaration was premature.  It came after two weeks of potty success and was the day before she decided she didn't want to give up diapers just yet.

I had initiated this "potty-training" a few weeks before her 3rd birthday.  I did this because she had been showing interest and signs of readiness.  For months previous to this, I polled friends, asked for advice, waited and waited and decided it was time to give it a shot.  It worked for a while and then I gave up when it became clear that it wasn't working anymore.  As I got more and more worked up about it (and got worked up about getting worked up) I realized that I needed to back off and not risk causing damage to her sensitive, developing character. 

Another factor I have to admit was the fact that she was about to turn three, which at some point had become an arbitrary marker and outer limit of when she should be out of diapers.  I'm not sure where I got that except that it seemed most of my friends had their kids potty-trained well before age three.  And so I felt pressured.  Not by anyone directly, mind you.  No one has ever said anything to me to make me feel like I was doing a bad job nor questioned or judged me about why my daughter was still in diapers.  It was simply pressure I had put on myself after comparing my daughter to her friends.  And here lies lesson #1,488 of the undoubtedly infinite number of lessons I am to learn as a parent:  Don't compare your child to other kids her age.  I must do what I feel is best for her and not let myself be swayed by what other people may think.  Like duh!

Another thing I did wrong was that I made a big deal out of it.  I got excited. I thought we had arrived. I praised her when she did it and reminded her when I was afraid she'd have an accident.  What those two weeks in September taught me (and many other diaper-free hours since then) is that she can do it.  She knows she can do it.  She knows I know she can do it.  There isn't any "training" to be done.  I just have to wait till she decides she wants to and is ready. 

It helps me to think of all the strides she has made in the past six months in regard to her level of security and independence. It seems a lot to expect that she will jump ahead with this at the same time. We've only been together 16 months so why I am expecting her to be on the same time line as a child who's been with the same mommy since birth?  In every other area we have strived to let her lead and wait till she showed us she was ready for a new level of independence. This shouldn't be any different.

So everyday for the past 4+ months we have given her the option and let her choose diapers or undies.  Up until about a week ago she was consistently choosing diapers.  Except for the occasional reminder that one day when she's ready she will not need diapers anymore, I haven't said much and have remained very laid back, hoping and trusting that at some point things will change. 

Last week she started choosing undies more often but only for part of a day. One day last week she chose to wear underwear all day even though we were going to be out most of the day.  She did amazing.  We went to a friend's house for a play date and she did great. Then we went to a birthday party and she was 100% successful again.  Either she told me when she had to go or I'd clue in to some cues and ask her and she'd agree to go.  I couldn't believe it.  Each time she used the toilet I just tried not to make a big deal of it and act as if it was perfectly normal but occasionally I'd let my excitement take over and I would say something like, "Wow Ella good job! What a big girl thing to do!" I was so excited that evening when I reported to Andrey how the day went.  He told me not to get too excited.  I suspected he was right but was feeling extremely hopeful.

The next day she chose diapers and only diapers for several days following.  Then today she chose undies even though we were going out.  She did great in the morning but by the afternoon refused to use the potty even though she was giving cues that she needed to go.  I didn't push it and we ended up with pee on the car seat on our way home.  Later at home I knew she needed to go but she was resistant to using the toilet and that's when I started to feel really frustrated.  At this point I just don't get it. 

I'm frustrated because I have been patient and willing to stay put for a while.  I wait until she gets behind the wheel, pulls up next to me and says, "Hey mommy let's do this!"  At first I'm just enjoying the ride, not saying a word, preparing myself for her to pull over any minute. But then we get a ways down the road and I begin to see our destination and it's so close and it looks so fun. So fun that I imagine that we're already there and I start talking about how great it is. And then suddenly she slams on the brakes puts the car in park and starts walking back in the opposite direction.

I guess I thought it would just happen all at once with her deciding she was ready and never going back.  I figure she probably picks up on my hopeful excitement as nudging her to move forward and she begins to feel like she's not in charge anymore so she pushes back.

I really am trying not to get so excited, let her have as much control as possible and keep my expectations low.  I can do it for a while but dang it, I'm human and no matter how hard I try I just don't like living in this tension of thinking maybe we are there but oh not yet.  I have resolved myself to not putting on pressure and waiting for her to do this in her timing but this stopping and starting is just frustrating and sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me. 

I just needed to vent about that. 

As I take a deep breath at the end of today I realize that we have had more progress in this area in the past week than we've seen in months.  We have to be getting closer.  Maybe she just needs to make a few stops along the way and I should just enjoy the ride and not get so caught up with where we are going.  I can resolve to start fresh again tomorrow with a loving and accepting attitude of whatever she chooses and help her to feel in control again.  I haven't totally screwed this up again, yet, I don't think.  I can do better tomorrow as I remind myself that she has to be the one to initiate this.  It has to be up to her to set the pace.  If I can keep my mouth shut!

If this is what my gorgeous daughter wants to do with those cute little undies that have been sitting in her closet for the past year, then so be it. 

I mean, how many parents can say their child can swim before they are out of diapers?  

Sunday Morning Snapshot

It's a rainy morning but that didn't stop Ella's morning walk with her Daddy

Oh the joy of morning coffee...
(roasted by our very own brother-in-law)

And helpers in the kitchen

Cornmeal whole wheat pancakes with pears and cinnamon
are made complete with Nova Scotia maple syrup

Happy girl loves her bacon and syrup with a little pancake on the side

Midwifery is 'With Woman'

A mother of four prays for rice.  She doesn't have enough to feed her kids.  She had a baby last month. Her husband is out of work.  There is a job.  It's his, but only if he can come up with 300 pesos up-front for a uniform.

I have never gone unwillingly without food.  I have no idea what it's like to be hungry and wonder where my next meal will come from, much less worry about my children's next meal.  I want to have a baby so badly and often wonder why it is so difficult for us when there are plenty of women out there who have more than they would have chosen.  Our stories and experiences could not be more different.

She is my friend, inasmuch as I've been given the opportunity to come alongside her during her pregnancy, to add to the minimal prenatal care she was receiving - to pray for her during her labor and to help her pay her clinic bill so she can go home the day after she delivered a healthy baby boy.  I checked on them a few days after she delivered to screen for any problems since the private clinic told her to come back after a week... so they could remove the cord clamp.  She and her husband saved one-third of the clinic's normal delivery cost during her pregnancy and that was not easy for them.  By the grace of God her husband had work during that time.

To deliver with a trained midwife at a private clinic or a doctor at the public hospital (and both options can be sketchy) it costs at least 3,000 pesos ($70 USD) if everything goes normally.  When urban poor Filipinos live on less than $2 USD a day, how can they be expected to afford basic maternity care? And when things go wrong?. . . 

I cared for her during her last pregnancy three years ago, back when I was still only dreaming of becoming a mom.  Her labor was long.  Too long for the protocols at the clinic where I worked so she had to be transferred to hospital.  I made sure she and her husband had what they needed to deliver there and she ended up delivering normally without any augmentation.  They were so grateful they gave me a beautiful silver necklace with a bamboo and silver charm in the shape of a slipper.  I didn't want to take it but knew it was their way of doing what they could to pay me back so I received it with joy.

I want to be with woman nearly as much as I want to be with child.  When I care for a woman such as this I find myself in an overly-enthusiastic, nearly-giddy state.  These people must think I'm crazy, I tell myself, but they already do - not because of my over-excitement at getting to do a baby and mom check-up after my first 16 months of motherhood, but because I do not fit their presuppositions about white women.

Being white is synonymous with being rich and while compared to them I am exceptionally rich, it's true that I don't fit the description of a rich mommy in the Philippines because I don't bring my nanny along or even have one and I do drive my own car, a dirty one at that.  In the Philippines, if you can afford a car you can afford a driver, and a driver then keeps your car pristine and clean at all times. Image is highly-valued by Filipinos and I pretty much drive around town in a car that looks like it just drove in from a long road trip...  all the way from America. 

I've been doing a lot of day-dreaming and praying lately.  I LOVE being a mom but I also recently realized that I REALLY miss working as a midwife.  I want to come alongside women in my neighborhood as they walk through pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period.  I want to become their friend, learn about their lives and see where it leads. 

Ella at 3 Years, 4 Months

Lately I find myself amazed at our little girl - amazed at the things she says, does and the little person she is revealing to us as she grows and develops.  I can't help but say things like, "Oh my gosh, she just is so great!"  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with love for her and a desire to smother her with hugs and kisses.  I remind myself how at some point I will have to respect her space and hold back on expressing my emotions in that way but for now she lets me for a few seconds anyway.

This morning when I was holding her during Sunday morning worship I remembered the feeling of desiring so badly to hold a child in my arms. She is quite heavy these days, a good 14 kilos. My arms may ache and I may at times complain but all I have to do is pause for a moment and think about the years of waiting and longing for her to realize how special it is to have her in our family, in our lives, stitched tightly into our hearts. 

Ella is doing exceptionally well these days.  She is generally very cooperative and happy and fun to be around.  She is full of energy and demands much time and attention while at home but that's normal for a 3-year-old who's an only child.  Anytime we are at home her mantra is, Play Ella? and does her best to pull me away from any task I might be trying to work on.

She is soaking up lots of extra attention these days as Andrey's parents have been here the past several weeks. It is so wonderful to see how much Ella loves them and enjoys spending time with them. And just as great is how much they enjoy spending time with her. Andrey and I have gotten two dates in over the past two weeks and I've been able to leave Ella at home with them a few times. They even took Ella out on a date all morning one day last week. Yay for Grandparents!

So what is Ella into these days?

- She has pretty well caught up in her language abilities.  It is amazing to me how quickly she learns and picks up new words and concepts.  She loves to be read to and is able to recite stories from books. She loves to talk about what she sees on the pages and ask questions.  Her imagination is developing and she is quite good at pretending. She can become very animated when talking about frogs and crabs and other animals she is imagining.

- Some cute things she says:

• Careful Mommy, sharp!
• Be patient, Daddy.
• No Pat no! Don't sit on that! (from Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss.)
• What's dat Momma? 
• Wait sa ha! (Cebuano expression meaning, hold on just a second, okay?)
• Mommy pas pas oi! (Cebuano for Hurry up Mommy!) 
• Ta ta for now! Gotta lot of bouncin' to do! (Quoting Tigger from Winnie the Pooh)
• Wait, Ella check something! (when asked to do something and she attempts to buy time)
• Look (at) me! 
• Ta da!!!

- She loves to sing. She spontaneously sings Happy Birthday, the ABC song, the Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle, Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, Jesus Loves Me, Angels We Have Heard on High, and some of her own made up songs. The other day she sang a song using only these four words - Mommy, Daddy, Ella, Love - in random order to the tune of Frere Jacques.  Hello!?  Total cuteness!  She has such a sweet voice and can sing in tune. 

- She is beginning to be helpful in the kitchen.  She can crack a raw egg, peel and chop a hard-boiled egg, use the electric mixer, measure, mix, pour, and is especially good at licking up any last dregs of anything chocolate.  She loves to wear an apron and help mommy in the kitchen.

- She started calling me Momma a few weeks ago and I love it.

- She is very particular about what she wears.  What is up with three-year-olds taking way too long to decide what they want to wear!?  I try to let her choose as I want her to learn good decision-making skills and feel confident in her choices but when she insists on wearing long sleeves and fleece jackets, I can't help but protest. I've finally decided that long-sleeves are fine and it's probably just a stage so I'm just trying to go along with it.  She has a few beloved items that she wants to wear nearly every day if she can.  She loves to be the one to do the picking of clothes and can take a painfully long time making a choice. "Ummm, maybe, uhhhh" while she searches the closet for her beloved items (I had to hide some of them). And then she'll want to change her outfit at least twice a day.  One minute we're playing, the next minute she's all, "Not this one, Momma" and starts to take off her shirt.  Oh here we go again!  This is frustrating when it happens several times a day.  She loves her PJs and insists on wearing the fleece striped blanket sleeper kitty cat PJs as often as possible.  At least she sleeps in the aircon. But seriously, our average temperature here is 30C and I'm not sure why but the whole clothes things just annoys me. She has all these really cute shorts and t-shirts that are just taking up space in her closet.  I may just give them away.  Maybe she is meant to live in Canada someday.

- She carries her "babies" around all day in a baby carrier, calls them Baby Gabe or Roo

- She loves to run, ride her "big girl bike" and is swimming like a school-aged kid.

- She is very affectionate and still loves lots of cuddles in the morning, after a nap and before bedtime.

What a beautiful child, she is.  I am so thankful.

I really want another.

Quick Update

I'm not really sure what I've been up to over the past week that has kept me from blogging but I want to  give a quick update before we head off to the beach today.

The Grandparents are here! Andrey's parents arrived late Wednesday night and will be here for nearly 3 weeks. Yay!! We are taking them to our favorite beach spot tomorrow in Moalboal just a few hours away. It's Sinulog in Cebu this weekend, which is a massive parade that venerates the Santo Niño, a small Spanish-looking infant Jesus figure. The whole city shuts down. We've learned it's best to get out of town and avoid the road closures and noise.

Ella really loves her Grandma and Grandpa. She warmed up to them right away and showed us her apparent attachment to them. Their first morning here Ella knocked on their door to wake them up. When I got up a few minutes later I heard giggling, laughing and squeals coming from their room where they were playing and clearly having a fantastic time together. She has reached for both of them and wants to be carried by them. It's so sweet to see. We are just delighted they are here.

I got to do a postpartum check up yesterday on a friend of mine who had a cute little baby boy on Wednesday. I'll share more about that and a photo next week. I have gotten to do a few bits of midwifery-related work over the past few months and I am loving every bit of it. I miss being around pregnant and birthing women and newborns so much.

I've run out of time and must get going.  I'll catch things up next week.  I want to do a post on what Ella is into these days. She's changing and growing so fast!

Have a great weekend!

A little bit about food on a fertile island in the Tropics

I'm glad we reached the end of the leftover holiday treats. Me pants are a bit tight, ya know?

I'm feeling quite happy about being back into the regular routine as far as eating goes. Somehow we got out of the habit of our meatless Mondays. We do often have meatless meals but sometimes we can forget to make dinner a meatless meal. I like the weekly reminder to cut the meat and find some new and fun veggie recipes. Some of my very favorite cookbooks are the Moosewood Restaurant series. They are probably my most used cook books, especially the Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Home, Moosewood Low-Fat Favorites, and Moosewood Celebrates. So good.

So I stocked up on a few days worth of produce at the local market this morning. I am amazed at how much I can get for 300 pesos ($7 USD). All of this is grown (save the apples and mandarin oranges) on Cebu Island. I can point to the mountain where these mangoes were grown. I love that if we need to save money on the food budget, all we need to do is eat simply using more stuff available at the market. I often buy fish there as well (if I can get there in the morning since the fish is not on ice) and can get 8 small fish (enough for two lunches for me and Ella) for about 20 pesos.

For 7 bucks I got 1.5 kilos of some of the most delicious mangoes in the world, 6 mandarin oranges, 6 Fuji apples, 2 carrots, long beans, 2 eggplants, some pumpkin-like squash, tomatoes, a handful of chili peppers, 1/2 kilo of water spinach, kamote tops (greens of the local sweet potato), plum tomatoes and the shredded meat of one small coconut, which I used to make fresh coconut milk for our dinner tonight. 

What's on the menu? (From Moosewood Celebrates)

Red lentils & brown rice

Mango chutney

Curried greens with cashews

Ella and I went outside for a bit and I noticed the papaya tree we had cut down in November is back in full-force. These papaya trees grow like weeds here! It's nice to have fresh papaya but I have a hard time keeping up with it all and much of it ends up falling to the ground and rotting in the hot sun. Not a nice smell. Maybe I should sell some at the market down the street. Unfortunately it's not the best papaya. My neighbors like to make achara (pickled papaya) with the unripe papaya but I don't enjoy it much. My favorite is the red lady papaya that I can find at the supermarket for about 20 pesos. It's oh so sweet and Ella loves it.

A little fun in the sand box before lunch

Today's lunch: Crispy fried fish, rice, bananas and mangoes.

 

What are some of your most used and loved cookbooks?